The Truth About Remus
by M.A. Raie
Summary: Every month, he told naught but lies - excuses about his absences, fairy tales - only I knew what was really happening with him... REVISED
1. Introduction

The Truth About Remus  
Preview

**The Truth About Remus**  
_…every month he told naught but lies - excuses about his absences,  
fairy tales - but only I knew what was really happening with him…  
_**By M.A. Raie**

Summary: Remus Lupin's sixth year at Hogwarts told from the point of view of his best friend since birth.  
Disclaimer: Original content ©2003-2004 by M.A. Raie Publishings, all rights reserved.  
M.A. Raie Publishings is in no way associated with J.K. Rowling, Warner Bros., or any official entity. M.A. Raie Publishings is committed to upholding the copyright law and does not take any credit for the characters, objects or places created by J.K. Rowling.  
In other words, I don't own Jo Rowling's world, I just get to play in it.  
Rating: TBA

* * *

The Truth About Remus  
Introduction 

"We were only six years old," I began explaining, wringing my fingers together nervously. "It's a terrible thing for a five year old to endure…and was all my fault. I should have been bitten…not him…but, heh, Remus the Hero, Remus the Brave. He saved me that night. He saved me, but brought upon himself a burden he could have never imagined…"

It was a warm summer night. The stars were shining brightly and the moon was a full, yellow ball of light. Remus and I were in his front yard, lying in the dewy summer grass, talking after playing a game of hide-and-go-seek.

"What should we do now, Anistasia," he asked as his mother's face disappeared from the common room window.

"I told you not to call me that," I said, playing with the cool grass, "Its Stacey. I hate the name Anistasia. Its too long and hard to spell."

"I like it."

"Well, then, you can have it."

He laughed, "But it is a girl's name."

He managed to follow that comment with a boyish noise of disgust. I looked at him, scowling. My scowl turned quickly into a smile.

"Hey, look Remus! A doggie," I stood and called, "Here doggie! Here boy!"

Remus tapped me on the shoulder, "I don't like the way that dog looks."

The dog walked towards my voice slowly, and then broke put into a run. I was frozen, staring at its glowing red eyes when Remus stepped in front of me. The dog jumped on Remus and sunk its razor-sharp teeth into his shoulder. I screamed and hit the beast as hard as I could with every part of me that I could swing. Suddenly the dog lifted its head. Remus' blood was dripping from its fangs. I screamed an even longer, shriller scream as it ran off. I kneeled beside my friend.

"Anistasia," he sobbed, "save me. It hurts…"

We were both crying. Hearing my scream, Remus' parents ran out of the house and up to us. Remus' father was the first to see his wound.

"Honey, take Anistasia home please," Mr. Lupin said to his wife as he scooped Remus into his arms.

Mrs. Lupin had to carry me home. That night, I couldn't get to sleep at all. I sat in my window, staring at Remus' bedroom window. The blinds were closed, but there were figures moving in and out of his room all night; their shadows were cast against the white blinds. There were probably three or four different people tending to him.

"I will never forget that night. I can still see it as vividly in my mind as if it were yesterday, as you can tell. Nothing can make me forget it. It is like a nightmare that has been played over and over in my mind for the last ten years. There is one thing that I have found out from all of this, and its that…"


	2. Chapter One

The Truth About Remus  
Chapter One

"G' bye, mum! G' bye, dad," I exclaimed, kissing each of them on the cheek in turn, "See you soon!"

My mum pulled me into one last embrace and I turned to Remus. His mum was sobbing into her handkerchief and his dad was ruffling his chin-length hair.

"You keep order in that place, son," Mr. Lupin ordered proudly.

"My little boy…a Prefect," Mrs. Lupin was sobbing, "We are so proud of you!"

Remus nodded sheepishly and replied, "Yes, mum…I was Prefect last year too…"

At this reminder, my godmother sobbed harder and Remus looked at me for some help. I smiled and stepped forward.

"Bye, godmother," I said, hugging her, and then turned to my godfather, "Good bye."

"We love you both," my mum told Remus and I as she held Remus' chin in her hand.

"We love you, too," we replied in unison.

The Hogwarts Express' whistle blew and, as I blew kisses to my parents and godparents, the two of us ran to get on the train. Once we were on, the train began to move and Remus and I went to fetch our regular compartment. It was in the third car, sixth compartment on the right. The door was open and I smiled at the occupants: James Potter and Sirius Black.

"Hey, Padfoot and Prongs," I exclaimed, sitting beside Sirius; Remus went to take a seat but I stopped him, "Moony, you have to go to that meeting in the Prefect car, remember?"

"Oh yeah," he said, dully, "Those things are so boring – just an hour of complete BS…can't I just skip it?"

"No."

And with that, I pushed him out of the compartment as he looked to his friends for help.

"Poor Moony," Sirius exclaimed as I closed the compartment door, "I wouldn't be able to stand being the 'good boy'."

"Here, here," James replied, ruffling his hair.

"So, what do you think your chances are to get with Evans this year," I asked, nudging him.

James shrugged, "Once I win the Quidditch Cup again this year and she notices how sexy I look, holding it above my head for the sixth year in a row, the doll wont be able to resist me."

"True, Prongs…very true," Sirius replied, giving him a five.

An hour past, mostly with James and Sirius planning how badly they were going to get Snape this year, before Remus reappeared. He looked as though he had to sit through a double History of Magic class. He took a seat beside me and leaned his head on my shoulder.

"The new fifth year Prefects are the thickest I have seen," he said into my shoulder, "I thought I would never get out of there."

"Anything you need to tell me about a certain green-eyed beauty, Moony," James asked.

"Evans was there and she despises you more than ever," Remus said in a monotone voice, "Don't screw up too much this year – she looks like she has had a bad summer."

"PMS," James and Sirius said together.

I scowled at them as the compartment door flew open. A short, rat-faced sixth year boy stood there, with the look of complete horror on his face.

"What is it this time, Wormtail," Sirius asked.

I looked at the chubby boy and frowned. I never liked him, but he always seemed to know too much about what we were doing to make it safe for us to ditch him. Peter Pettigrew (AKA Wormtail) was, as I said, short, chubby and, as I didn't mention yet, terrible at magic. He has always worshipped Sirius, James, Remus and I for our accomplishments and we were often forced to help him.

Remus Lupin (AKA Moony), to my left, is tall and tan with dark chin length hair. He has these deep, almost midnight blue eyes and has become muscular since his dad got him into a Muggle pastime called "weight lifting". Remus and I have known each other since birth – we were born with only one day in between (I was born on December 3, 1960 where he was born on December 1, 1960). He follows the rules (most of the time) and is a Gryffindor Prefect. We have always celebrated our birthdays together, over the three days of December 1 – 3. He also has a secret that only a few people know about and one that I will not try to explain as of now.

James Potter (AKA Prongs) is sitting directly across from me. He is a jock (he plays Chaser on the Gryffindor House Quidditch Team) and loves to get attention for what he does. Since he made an appearance on the team as the lead scorer in Hogwarts Quidditch, he has lead Gryffindor into five consecutive Quidditch Cup wins. James loves getting attention for his athletics, but more for his practical jokes that he and Sirius Black plays on Severus Snape, a sixth year Slytherin. The only thing that James hasn't gotten yet that he wants is the love of Lily Evans, a Gryffindor Prefect.

Sirius Black (AKA Padfoot) is James' right hand man. Wherever James is, Sirius is, almost one hundred percent of the time. Sirius has light, blue eyes and black, shoulder length hair. He knows how to have fun and is almost like James, except he is not on the Gryffindor Quidditch Team and is always surrounded by girls and flashes his smile to any chick he sees. They swoon. They trip. They can't have him.

My name is Anistasia Willow (AKA Thumper). I have waist length black hair and deep, forest green eyes. Like James and Sirius, I have become accustomed to playing pranks on Severus Snape, but, unlike them, I know where to draw the line (well, Remus usually has to draw it for me). I come off as a good girl to the Professors (especially to Headmaster Dumbledore), but that is because I am a bad girl that never gets caught.

Peter, James, Sirius and I are illegal Animagi. Our nicknames represent what we are. Peter is a rat, James is a stag, Sirius is a grim and I am a rabbit. James, Sirius and I became Animagi to help out Remus, who doesn't need to become one, really. Peter is only one because he found out that the three of us were doing it and he forced us to help him with it.

The five of us are beginning our sixth year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

"Snape is looking for you…about turned me into a cockroach because I wouldn't tell him where you were…I just barely escaped…"

James, Sirius and I smiled at each other.

"And the fun begins," James announced.

I looked up into his brown eyes. They were sparkling with mischief.

"Alright boys…and erm, girl…gather around," James ordered and Peter, Sirius and I leaned forward, "We are a year older, a year wiser and a year more experienced than, er…last year! Snape has yet to see the best of us. We are about to begin the sixth leg of our war and it has to be a rememberable one, savvy?"

The group nodded.

"Sounds great," I exclaimed, "Just tell us what to do."

With this, Sirius took over, "Wormtail, you are going to lure Snape into this part of the train. Prongs and I will be hiding in two different compartments. Thumper, you stay in this one. I will be the first to come out of my compartment. The beginning of this attack lies all on me. The destiny of this joke lies on me," Sirius informed us dramatically, "I will unarm him sufficiently. Prongs will be the second piece to the attack. You will tie him up…tie him tight. Tie him up kind of like you tie up Lily in those little sexual fantasies of yours…ex-nay on the leather whip-nay, understand," Sirius asked and James nodded, grinning, "Thumper will complete the third step efficiently…the most important part…the spell. Thumper, jinx him, and jinx him good."

"What if we fail," Peter asked.

"To fail is not an option my unoptimistic, friend," James said.

"Places," Sirius exclaimed and we all scattered.

I stayed in the compartment with Remus. I unsheathed my wand and kneeled by the door, listening intently. Remus pulled out a book and began to read.

"Oh, come on, Remus," I whispered, "You know you don't want to miss out on this!"

"I am not jeopardizing my position as Gryffindor Prefect. What I am missing out on, I am totally unaware of. This could make me loose my position of honor in a heartbeat, and I won't have any of it. Just don't do anything rash, okay?"

I sighed, "You are taking this way too seriously. I wont do anything too bad…just a Vanishing Charm…"

Remus shook his head, "Ani…"

Before Remus could say anything else, I shushed him. I could hear Peter luring Snape down the train.

"You cant hit me with those half-ass spells, Slytherin shit," I heard Peter exclaim right outside our compartment.

"Bold, Peter, very bold," I whispered.

I heard Snape begin a spell, but it was interrupted by the opening of a compartment door and Sirius' voice yelling "_expelliarmus_". Then another compartment door slid open and James' voice summoned ropes. Once I was sure that everything was clear, I opened my compartment door and prepared to unleash my spell.

"_Eva _---"

"_Finite Incantatum_," a voice yelled.

All of the spells that were cast were stopped and the ropes binding Snape were released. The only spell that was left in effect was the disarming spell. Lily Evans took Snape's wand out of Sirius' hand and tossed it back to its rightful owner.

"Get out of here, Severus," Lily ordered and he did as told.

The group stared after its prey in awe as I turned on Lily.

"What on **EARTH** did you do that for," I asked her, "You ruined everything! You – you ---"

"I just saved all of you from a lecture, a series of detentions and maybe even being expelled from Hogwarts," Lily exclaimed, "You didn't even know what would happen if you performed the Vanishing Spell! For all you know, it may have killed him! You could have faced a lifetime in Azkaban! Really you guys! We are in our sixth year now! These practical jokes need to be put aside for your safety and everyone else's! We know enough advanced magic now to really hurt somebody, possibly an innocent standby. We need to be more mature. Dumbledore expects that from us."

"Fine, stick up for _Snivellus_," Sirius taunted, "It'll be your ass that is tied up next."

Out of anger, she stalked away and I stared after her. Peter left to do his own bidding. James, Sirius and I returned to our compartment. Sirius studied his new textbooks, James wrote down some new plans that he and Sirius were discussing before and I leaned against Remus, who was staring blankly out of the window, and told him what just happened with Lily. After a while, I fell asleep.


	3. Chapter Two

The Truth About Remus  
Chapter Two

The first day of class is always an exciting time we get introduced to the things that we are going to learn this year; however, this year, the first day of classes was a mix between a blessing and hell. Remus and Sirius were already sitting at the Gryffindor table when James and I walked up.

"Good morning, Padfoot," I said, sitting, "Mr. Moony, I thought you were going to wait in the Common Room for me this morning. Where were you?"

Remus smiled, "I was here. While you were upstairs admiring yourself, my stomach told me that I was hungry. So, being the man that I am, I came here to soothe my appetite."

I sighed and clicked my tongue, "Boys."

"Boys," Sirius asked looking extremely offended, "We are not 'boys'. We are men! Isn't that right?"

James and Remus exclaimed in agreement and the three of them growled manly growls and hit the table. I laughed as Lily walked up behind us.

"Gryffindor sixth year schedules," she mumbled as she plopped a pile of cards in front of us.

Remus gasped and got up quickly, "I have got to get some of those for the other years. Be right back!"

"Don't bother," Lily told him before he could get away from the table, "I have already done it."

Remus sat glumly as she walked away.

"James, do you seriously admire her," I asked.

Sirius shook his head, "Thumper baby, she almost destroyed us. Why would James still like her after what she did yesterday? I bet Snape is just planning to get us sometime today. Damn! Bloody hell…I cant believe she really did that to us!"

Remus nodded and James sighed. I could tell that he wanted nothing more but to forgive Lily. We looked over and discussed our schedules ("Ugh, no! Double Defense Against the Dark Arts with Slytherin, first thing in the morning?") as we ate breakfast. The four of us decided to head to the common room to grab the books we were going to need for the classes before lunch. Standing outside the portrait hole was a first year boy with blazing red hair in Hogwarts pajamas pleading with the Fat Lady.

"…forgot! This is only my first day here, but I swear, I am a Gryffindor!"

I walked up to him smiling, "What is your name kid?"

"William Weasley," he replied, "Can you help me get into the common room? I forgot the password and I need to get ready for class!"

I studied him for a moment and then nodded, "I will trust you, but if I find out that you are a member of a different house, I will curse you, mark my words. Trust me I know some good ones."

The boy nodded and I gave the password, and then sent James to get William a schedule.

"Remus will help you to your first class, and good luck today. By the way, I am Anistasia Willow," I told him, "This is James Potter and Sirius Black. Remus Lupin is the Prefect."

"Thank you," William replied, "You may call me Bill if you'd like. Well, I must get ready for class. Nice meeting you all!"

The three of us remaining grabbed our books and headed for Defense Against the Dark Arts. Looking around and making sure Snape wasn't lurking about, we walked into the class and sat down at a back table. Lily was up front with Peter.

"Is Wormtail no longer part of the group," I asked.

"Was he ever really a part to begin with," Sirius asked.

I shook my head and began sorting out my parchment, book and quills.

"I hope you are ready for what I have in store," I heard Snape sneer from above, "What you did on the train yesterday will be more than paid for, I can assure you and, the three of you are surely in for it."

James stood up and pulled out his wand. Sirius and I pulled him down while Snape grinned evilly. With a swish of his cloak, he turned and went back to Slytherin's side of the room.

"Come on…let me send one curse over there," James begged.

"No," I replied, "You know the rules we set with him in our third year once one person or group executes a prank, successful or not, they must wait for the other party to make one before they attempt a second one. If we do not follow this rule, certain penalties will apply."

James lay his head on the table as Remus bustled in.

"What did I miss," he asked.

"A taunting from Snape and a lecture from Ani, but other than that, nothing," Sirius said, "How is Bill doing?"

"Ah, no problems. He was the first person to Transfiguration, so he is doing better than the other first years."

James looked up at Lily and Peter in the first row, but said nothing. Class began a moment later and ended with Professor Wright giving us an essay assignment two rolls of parchment long. Lily and Peter left the room quickly, avoiding eye contact with us. The school day was going by smoothly until sixth year study hall. That was a period put aside that allowed the sixth years to go to the library and read or study. The group and I were sitting together, helping each other with our Defense Against the Dark Arts and Transfiguration homework. None of us were watching Snape; none of us thought to, until we were walking along a deserted corridor and cauldrons of an unknown, gooey liquid were poured onto us.

"Jesus wept," I exclaimed, closing my eyes and wiping off my face.

"What the fuck is this stuff," Sirius exclaimed loudly as green ooze continued to engulf us.

"You guys…I am starting to feel kind of cold," James said, "Like ice is running through my veins."

"There is nothing that can do that, though," I corrected, "Nothing that I know of."

"Then what is happening to us, Miss All-Knowing," Remus asked as he tried to warm himself up by scooting closer to me.

"It is actually a mix of two potions – the first one is _Icious Bodacious_, which is causing the freezing sensation," Snape began, as he stood behind us, "the second is _Oxyvanious_, which is directing the cold to your blood. If you dunderheads ever paid any attention in Potions, you would know."

"Oh, I am the one who is soaked and he is the one who is surly," I asked, "That's rich."

"Have fun," Snape sneered as he left the corridor.

"What do we do now," James asked.

"We just have to wait until the potion's effects wear off," I told him, "There is nothing more we can do."

"I say we go to the common room and sit by the fire," Remus said.

"I say we go to the common room and sit _in_ the fire," Sirius exclaimed.

Agreeing on that, we made it to the common room, bundled up together to try to get warmer, and we saw Lily sitting alone on the couch.

"My Lord, what happened," she asked.

"_Icious Bodacious_ and _Oxyvanius_," I managed to stutter through my chattering teeth.

"This must have been Snape's brilliant prank," she said, "Does he even know the dangers of mixing those two potions? Some of the side effects can be triple pneumonia, dizzy spells, vomiting, blurred vision ---"

"Out of all due respect, Lily," Sirius began, "I don't think this is the best time to be lecturing us…"

"Right! Come here, you guys," she ordered as she took a hold of James' shoulders, "Ewww, James, you're all sticky…why don't you all hit the showers first."

"Its too cold to undress," I whined, "I don't think I could get my clothes off, not to mention having to remove them myself ---"

"I can help you there," Remus offered.

"On second thought, I think I might just jump in fully clothed…"

"What," he asked, "We have taken baths together before."

Sirius growled at Remus and nudged him, "Wow, you go tiger!"

"We were five," I exclaimed in my defense.

"I still got to see that sexy body of yours…"

I shook my head, "I have no time for this - clothed or unclothed, I am getting in the shower, and at this point, if you want to jump in with me, please, be my guest!"

"I knew that enduring these pranks would be good for something," James exclaimed.

The four of us did the cha-cha to the showers as Lily called after us: "Don't turn on the water too hot! The potion is affecting your nerves and if the water is too hot your will burn your skin severely causing, in some cases third degree burns! Bloody hell, I am going to run the water for you!"

Lily did so and we all showered off. As we began thawing, we were able to get the icky robes off of us, but by the end of the shower, our body temperatures were still lower than normal. Remus, Sirius, James and I were wrapped in bathrobes and blankets and were cuddled together on the couch, discussing our bath experience.

"I can't believe you wouldn't let me get in with you and Ani," Sirius told Remus.

"You got to keep me company, Paddy," James said jokingly.

"No, man! You pulled me into the shower with you! I was, in no way, voluntarily showering with you for that ten seconds I was in there."

"But you liked it."

"You are just saying that because your mum wouldn't let you within ten feet of Thumper and Moony's shower," Sirius exclaimed.

"Lily isn't my mum, she is my fantasy."

"Either way, you are still her bitch."

"You are going to pay for that one," James yelled, tackling Sirius.

Remus smiled, "See, Padfoot is jealous of me."

I laughed, "I don't know what you are boasting about. I kicked you out before I got undressed!"

"No, no, you are mistaken, Lady Anistasia. I, out of pure respect of your privacy, walked out of the shower."

"However, not before delivering the 'I'll show you mine if you show me yours' line."

"It is a classic line that no man can pass up the opportunity to ask," Remus explained, "Might I also add that watching the water run down your face, seeing the wet hair fall over your eyes and that your wet robes clinging tightly to your body made me even more sexually stimulated than I had ever been in my life?"

"Oh, and you think I couldn't tell by that huge hump that was plainly visible below your waist?"

"So you did happen to notice my rather large manhood."

"Moony, if you were that horny, why didn't you bang her when you had the chance," Sirius asked, "I am completely disgusted in you! As a man, it is your duty to take advantage of every opportunity to be laid!"

"I have sexual self control," was Remus' excuse.

"No wonder you are still a fucking virgin."

"So are you."

"Is it possible to be a 'fucking virgin'," I asked just as Lily walked in carrying a tray with hot chocolate and an entire apple pie.

"I got this out of the kitchens," she told us as she handed us each a slice of pie, "Being a Prefect has its advantages."

I looked at the guys. I knew what they were thinking, and I knew that they weren't going to say it, so I did.

"Lily, thank you for doing this for us," I said to her, "Is there anything we can do to repay you for your kindness towards us?"

She looked at us, bundled up on the couch. I knew that she was staring right at James and shaking her head.

"No," she replied, "I just did what any Gryffindor would do for a member of her house. As Prefect, I hold a huge responsibility on my shoulders and all I did was fulfill my duty. Now, if you will excuse me, I have a class to attend. I will explain to Professor Binns that the four of you are unable to attend due to medical reasons."

With that, Lily swept out of the room and James' grinned.

"She likes me."

Remus, Sirius and I tackled James and relaxed for the rest of the day.


	4. Chapter Three

The Truth About Remus  
Chapter Three

It was an early October night and the sky was clear and cloudless. My friends and I were sitting in the Astronomy Tower, listening (or trying) to Professor Sinistra as she talked about what the early astronomers named each star and what the names tell us and how the stars can tell about what might be happening on earth.

"These midnight classes are slack," I whispered as I lay my head on Remus' shoulder.

"Yeah, and it's a good thing I don't have to come to then next week," he replied.

"Awl, is it Remmie's time of the month again," James asked with a hint of teasing.

Remus growled at him. Even though I knew that Remus would rather go to Astronomy than have to endure his morphing every month, he never said it. It is not like him to complain about it – it has become a part of his life. I think he knew that, from the moment he decided to jump in between the werewolf and I, he was making a huge sacrifice. I asked him last year how he could do this every month and why I didn't hear a word of complaint out of him. He told me, "Because this could have been you and each time I go through this, I thank God that it is not. Plus," he added with a playful smirk, "You have enough to deal with every month without having to worry about this."

I smiled at that memory, but my thoughts were interrupted by Remus' reply to James' comment.

"Bite me," he said.

"Oh, but Moony, why don't you bite me," James asked.

"Don't tempt me."

"Excuse me," the four of us heard Professor Sinistra yell at us suddenly, "If you don't mind, I would like to be able to teach! Why aren't you looking out at the Big Dipper? As I was saying about the North Star ---"

We shushed up immediately and I closed my eyes. It was nearly fall, and the wind blowing across us at the top of the tower was nippy. Remus felt me shiver and he put his arm around me. There was something different about his touch tonight – it was something that I feared.

"Hey, look! There is my star," Sirius exclaimed pointing out at Canis Major.

I opened my eyes and looked upon the brightest star in the sky.

"Now, what can someone tell me about Sirius," Professor Sinistra asked the class.

Without raising his hand, James responded, "He looks a bit dull tonight. Maybe that means that our friend Sirius Black isn't as smart as he believes himself to be."

"James, that was unnecessary. Five points from Gryffindor and you will have detention with me tomorrow night. See me after class for details."

James gaped at Professor Sinistra and she went on teaching.

"I think that someone up there doesn't like you, Prongs," Sirius told him with a grin.

Class couldn't have ended soon enough and the tired Gryffindors made their way back to the common room. Right before I entered the room, Remus grabbed my elbow and turned me to face him.

"Anistasia, may I talk to you?"

I nodded and he led me into the deserted reading room. Luckily, no one was in there – not even the fifth year Prefect who was supposed to be making sure that no one was hiding in there staying up past curfew. Remus and I sat on a black, leather couch in the middle of the carpeted floor, surrounded almost entirely with bookshelves. He looked at me for a moment and I waited patiently for him to begin. What he said, I wasn't, in the least, prepared for.

"Anistasia, I don't know how to begin to tell you this – it is difficult. The only way I know how to let you know this is to tell you…and so, here it is: I have been having these weird feelings towards you recently. When I look at you, I see more than just you…I see a woman; and when I hug you, I feel all tingly and warm. I think I love you and I want to be with you – no. I know that I need to be with you."

I smiled but it wasn't a happy one. It was just there. I placed my hand on Remus' and sighed.

"Spike," I began, using the name I called him when we were little, "This is not something that we need to think about right now. How do you really know you want me when you haven't truly opened up to any other girls besides me?"

"My heart tells me so, Stacey. I have to follow my heart."

I shook my head, "I don't want this to affect the group. We are friends – that's how it should stay for the time being."

"I don't think so," Remus exclaimed, "Its not just me who is feeling this. I can see how you feel about me in your eyes – why must you deny it?"

"I am not denying anything."

"Yes you are," he exclaimed angrily as the argument heated up.

I sighed and tried to calm back down; I didn't want anyone to hear us, "I am not ready to make a commitment yet."

"You have gone out with other guys."

I nodded, "Yes, I have, and I have also broken up with all of them. I don't want to ruin things between us – I don't want to destroy something that we have spent a lifetime building."

"You can't destroy destiny."

"What do you mean?"

"Look at us," Remus yelled, standing up and pacing the room, "We have tried to go out with other people and those have failed terribly, but not once have we been willing to release what is truly within our hearts. We know it is there, Stacey. We have known of its existence since we have been small children. We are almost adults now and we have to start making decisions with our lives. I have been thinking about what I want to do with my life and it involves you. I want to be able to give you the love that I have to give to you. I want to show you the love that no other man can show you. I want to give you the life that you have always dreamed about – I want to give you the white, fairy tale castle with the tall towers and pink roofs that you told me about when you were seven. I want that seven year old inside of you to watch the unicorns graze on the grass and ride on the back of a friendly dragon. I want you to have the huge house that we once saw in Hogsmeade when you were thirteen – the one that you imagined your children growing up in. The one with the huge front yard and the swing set that you dreamed of having so you could push your children on the swings as they yelled, 'Higher, mommy…push me _higher_!' I also want you to teach them how to ride their first bike in the street in front of our house as I record it on videotape…like a Muggle would. I want to give that to you. I want to give you life, love, security and children. I want to give you the happiness that you could never dream of. I want to give you everything your heart desires," Remus sat back down across from me and I could see tears gleaming in his eyes. "All that I ask for in return is you, because you are all that I desire."

"Remus," I said with tears pouring down my face, "I…my gods, you have just sprung this on me…I can't. Not now. Please don't push me – I just can't."

Angrily, he stood and stormed over to one of the nearest bookcases. With a yell, he pushed all of the books on one of the shelves to the floor. The leather bound books scattered, falling open on their pages or their spines. Their pages bent and tore as Remus kicked them across the room. Then, he went to the closet wall and started punching it. I could see the blood coming from his knuckles with every straight blow. I jumped up from my position on the couch and grabbed him.

"Please…please don't do this," I begged, tears flowing like a river down my face, "I don't want you to hurt yourself. Please stop!"

With a roar of anger, he thrust his body back. His elbow hit me in the cheek and I fell hard onto the ground. He looked at me, horrified, and my tears stopped immediately. I left as quickly as I could and went to bed, fully clothed and ignoring Lily's probing questions about what I was doing. Once I slipped within the protective boundaries of my four-poster, I put up silencing charms around the bed and the tears started flowing again. I thought about what Remus had told me – promised me – and what I was going to do about it. I ended up not coming to a decision and crying myself to sleep.


	5. Chapter Four

The Truth About Remus  
Chapter Four

"Damn, you guys look terrible."

James and Sirius sat down to breakfast with a less than enthusiastic plop. They glared at me for my comment, and then raised their eyebrows.

"I wouldn't be talking Miss 'I Got A Shiner Last Week but I Don't Know How'," James replied.

"You win," I mumbled and covered my cheek with my hand.

I had gotten a bruise when Remus hit me that night after out conversation. When I showed up the following morning with a huge black, blue and purple spot on my face, Remus looked at me, aghast, as if he wanted to apologize, but we were both too embarrassed about the whole ordeal to even speak to each other. Our friends noticed immediately that there was something wrong between the two of us, but said nothing.

"Actually, no, you didn't win," I finally exclaimed, taking back my last comment, "Prongs, you look terrible! Worse than you have ever looked after a night of this! What happened last night?"

James shook his head, but Sirius got the nerve to speak up.

"Moony's transformations are getting worse and his outbreaks more violent," Sirius replied, "Prongs and I can hardly hold on to him anymore and Peter, that no good coward, wasn't there incase one of us got hurt."

"You did get hurt," I told them.

"You call a few scratches getting hurt," he asked, "I mean, hurt badly."

"I'll go with you tonight," I insisted, "That way, you will be safe."

"I don't think that's such a good idea, Thumps. You have to hide in a hole every time he transforms and, now with his higher level of strength and violence…I don't want you getting killed.

"I will be fine," I exclaimed, "My hole is more than safe. I am going with you."

Sirius shook his head. He knew that there was no use in arguing with me. Once I said that I was going to do something, it was going to be done. All we had to do now was wait until nightfall.

* * *

"Thumper, you go down first…we'll follow right behind."

Sirius, James and I were in the boy's dorm, preparing to go. I nodded at James' order and transformed into my rabbit form. I hopped down the stairs and across the common room. With my front paws, I pushed open the portrait and hopped out. I took a right and went through the hole in the wall under the bookcases. I followed the trails through the school that we, the Marauders, had discovered ages ago. No Prefects (except for Remus) or professors knew about them – I was pretty sure that no one other than us knew about them.

I came out of the passages, no sweat, and hopped up to the doors in the entrance hall, leading to the outside. After looking for Prefects, I morphed into myself, just to open one of the doors. Once outside, I went to my animal self again. I hopped as quickly as I cold to the Whomping Willow and sat there, waiting for my colleagues. Looking up at the sky, I noticed that tonight was cloudy. Maybe there wont be much activity tonight. I chewed on some grass, chased a cricket and washed by paws after killing the damned thing while I waited. I estimated that it was nearly an hour before they emerged from under the invisibility cloak. I morphed to meet them.

"What took you two so long?"

"Other than the fact that a portrait changed its password on us and wouldn't tell us the new one and we were almost caught by Prefects after Padfoot tripped over my foot, absolutely nothing," James exclaimed, "and its jolly good to see you too."

I shook my head, went animagi and hopped quickly between the swinging braches of the willow tree. I put my paw in the knot at the base of the tree and it froze. Padfoot the Grim and Prongs the Stag ran toward me and into he entrance of the tree. Once I let go of the knot, the tree began thrashing again. I entered the tunnel behind the two guys. After what seemed like miles of darkness, I came to the trap door that led to the inside of the Shrieking Shack.

James (in his human form) was holding the door open as I hopped in. Once Sirius and I were in out regular form, the three of us walked to the second floor of the house and to the door of Remus' bedroom.

"I solemnly swear I am up to no good," James hissed into the keyhole and the door swung open.

Remus was on the bed, doing his Transfiguration homework. He looked up at us as we walked in. I walked in last and his eyes grew wide.

"Ani, what are you doing here," he asked; they were the first words he has spoken to me in days.

"I came to make sure that you were doing okay," I replied, walking to him and sitting on the edge of the bed, "That's why I became an Animagi, after all."

He wrapped his arms around me; it was a hug of a friend relieved to see me. "I have missed you," he whispered.

"Me, too."

He pulled back and placed his hand on the bruise that he caused. "I am so sorry, Ani."

"Lets just forget about it, okay?" I asked.

"I would be more than happy to."

The four of us sat around, playing a Muggle game named Charades. Remus was up, and he had his back to us, preparing to perform his action, when I spotted the fur growing on his hands.

"Morph," I yelled and I watched Padfoot and Prongs leap at Remus.

I closed my eyes and tried to morph, but when I opened them, I was still in my human form. Moony was thrashing around and I was immobile, sitting against the wall, scared. I realized that he smelled my fear the moment I watched him stop and sniff the air. Then he turned to me. Both Prongs and Padfoot jumped at him to hold him down, obviously trying to give me time to morph, but they missed him as he jumped towards me. Moony landed right in front of me, between my spilt legs. I was frozen, staring him straight in the yellow eyes as he approached me as though I were his prey. I couldn't move.


	6. Chapter Five

The Truth About Remus  
Chapter Five

I couldn't move.

Out of nowhere, Remus morphed back into himself. He was there in human form, sitting on his hands and knees in front of me. He was as frozen as I was. James' cry caused us both to stir.

"Ani, get out of here," he yelled.

Quickly, he switched back into his Animagi form as Remus went wolf mode again and jumped at him. I leapt out of the room. I heard crashes and wooden chairs being ripped into splinters behind me. I heard high animal screams and low gowls. Once I was out of the tunnel and onto Hogwarts grounds again, I looked up at the sky. There were no clouds; the moon wasn't blocked during the time Remus was sitting on the ground, staring at me in his human form.

So what happened?

* * *

I was the last person to breakfast that morning and avoided the glances from James and Sirius while I sat down. I hadn't even the chance to cut into my hot cakes before Sirius spoke.

"Moony wants to see you about last night," he informed me. "You can see him when you take him his lunch. Either that, or you can hear a bunch of shit from us."

"Thank you for your concern," I replied as I stabbed into the center of my breakfast.

We were quiet for a while, until James broke the silence.

"What is Peter doing, sitting with _Snivellus_?"

I turned around to face the Slytherin table and, just as James had observed, Peter was talking with Snape. They were leaning towards each other, obviously speaking in hushed voices. I could see the anger rising in the faces of Sirius and James and I felt it rising up in mine as well. Sirius, beside me, stood to walk over there, but I pushed him down.

"Later, Padfoot," I hissed, "We don't want to cause a scene. We will deal with the traitor later."

"I wonder for how long this has been happening," James asked, "He could be passing along secrets about us."

"That's it," Sirius exclaimed, banging his fist on the table, "That no good ass hole – I have had it up to here with him! He is definitely exiled from the Marauders, permanently! I don't care that we exiled the exile rule – it is in effect in Peter's case."

"I don't think you have any argument from over here," I said.

None of us noticed it, but Lily was also over there with them. She had left before any of us even noticed and we let it slide.

* * *

It was lunch hour and James had gotten food for both Remus and I from the kitchens so I wouldn't even have to enter the Great Hall. I put this in my backpack (all of it was well wrapped), thanked James and walked out onto the grounds. Once I was out there, I had to find a deserted place so I could morph into my rabbit form. There were so many people outside today. I had to be careful. I succeeded in morphing and easily was able to get into the base of the Whomping Willow. Even in the day, the tunnel leading to the Shrieking Shack was dark as night. Quickly and carefully, I hopped through it, came to the trap door and redeemed my human form.

"I solemnly swear I am up to no good," I whispered into the keyhole in the door to the bedroom.

"Ani," I heard Remus call from behind, "don't go in there. Come with me."

Confused, I was led to another bedroom. It was nicer than the one that I usually see. Then I realized that I had never seen anymore of the house than I saw on nights of the full moon. Remus was sitting on the bed; the covers were rumpled because he had been sleeping earlier. He motioned for me to sit on it with him.

"I brought lunch," I told him, taking off my backpack, "I know that a house elf usually brings it to you, but I gave him the day off."

"Thank you," he replied as I began unpacking.

A few minutes later, Remus brought up the subject of the previous night.

"Anistasia," he began, "I don't know how to explain what happened last night, but ---"

"Please don't lecture me. I couldn't morph last night. I don't know what happened to me. I might have had a power lapse or something, but I ---"

"Listen, Ani, I am not going to lecture you. I have nothing to lecture you about. I just…I want to know what happened last night with me. I mean, I know what happened, but I want you to know, too. What I remember of it, anyway…all I know is that, in my werewolf mode, I saw you…I smelled your fear. I was about to jump on you and attack you when I realized that the last thing I wanted to do was attack you. I saw that you were afraid of me and I was hurt. I didn't want you to be afraid of me. Something inside of me controlled my wolf side – it caused me to calm down and be myself. Something about you caused me to do that."

"That is why you were human when the moon was visible," I said. "You believe that I did that?"

"Yes. I know it with all of my heart."

"Would you like to investigate this matter further?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that I will come here again tonight and keep you calm so you won't morph. I know that it is painful for you. I would do anything to stop the pain."

Remus shook his head, "I can't let you do that. I can't let you risk your life. What if that was just a one time thing?"

"Remus, if last night was a one time thing…if the feelings that made you do what you did last night were that strong, I am sure that they wont fail to overpower your werewolf side again."

Remus sighed, "Okay, we can try it, but James and Sirius have to be here to hold me back if things do not go as planned."

"That is all that I ask."

I got up to leave so I could make it to my next class, but Remus called me back.

"Ani, I also have one thing that I would like to ask."

I turned back to him, "Yeah?"

"Will you go to the Halloween Ball with me?"

"Of course I will," I told him, more surprised than I meant to sound, "I mean, we have been going to the Hogwarts dances together since we have been allowed to go in our fourth year. What makes you think I wouldn't?"

"Nothing. Its just polite to ask rather than assume, because, as they say, to assume is to make an ass out of you and me…especially if someone got to you first."

"I would never say yes to anyone but you," I told him with a smile. "I have got to get to class. See you tonight."

* * *

I walked into James, Sirius, Remus and Peter's room just in time to see Sirius slam Peter against one of the walls.

"Tell us now, you bastard," Sirius yelled, "What were you doing with Snape? What were you telling him about us, huh? What secrets did you spill to him?"

"Nothing," Peter yelled.

Sirius threw a punch at him and is smacked him in the jaw. "Tell us now!"

"I am telling you the truth! I don't tell them any of your secrets! Don't you trust me?"

"No."

Another punch buried itself in Peter's stomach and knocked the wind out of him. Sirius was well built and I knew that he was hurting Peter. I just closed the door behind me and stood beside James to watch the demonstration.

"We made you a part of our group. We helped you with your animagi transformation, let you in on our pranks and we told you our biggest secrets and then…and then we saw you sitting with the Slytherins. You were whispering with them. You were telling them things about us," James accused.

Lily walked in while James was speaking, curious about all of the noise, and she saw Sirius hit Peter.

"Enough," Lily exclaimed. "Black, put him down!"

Reluctantly, he let go of his robes and Peter fell to his knees, gasping for breath.

"Why didn't you talk this out? Look at what you did, Black!"

Sirius frowned at Lily, "We tried talking, but the rat wouldn't speak. He is a traitor. If you want to stick up for him, that is fine with me."

Peter began getting up, but Sirius kicked him back down.

"Seriously, Sirius," Lily exclaimed.

Sirius ignored her and bent down beside Peter. "I never want to see your bloody face again, do you hear me, Pettigrew? _Never_."

He spat the last word and out of fear, Peter scurried from the room. Lily gave Sirius one last look before she followed him. Sirius sat on his bed, and for the first time, I was acknowledged.

* * *

"Anistasia, what are you doing here," James asked.

"I just want you to know that Remus wants me to go with you guys again tonight."

"Is he nuts," Sirius exclaimed.

"No," James replied, "Remus wouldn't say that. Not after what happened last night."

"It is because of what happened last night that makes him believe that I should be there tonight," I explained.

Sirius shook his head, "Go to your room. Do homework. Sleep. Do anything – I don't care. Just don't show up at the shack tonight."

I scowled at Sirius and left.

_Sirius cant get his way that easily_, I thought as I slipped on some work robes over my pajamas.

Just before I was about to leave the room, Lily got out of her bed. She was pointing her wand at me. I knew why immediately – James had told her what happened last night and told her to keep an eye on me.

"Eat bollocks, Evans." I whispered, becoming extremely pissed. "I have something to do."

She shook her head, "I can't let you. You are going to get hurt."

"Why do you always show up at the very worst times, huh? Go back to sleep. You didn't want to meddle in the affairs of the Marauders before – I suggest that it stays that way."

I turned to walk out of the room but Lily put her hand on my shoulder.

"This is not a Marauder affair," she told me. "This is a friend saving another friend's ass."

"Just because we have been roommates since first year doesn't make you my friend. I wouldn't be going to the shack if I didn't totally believe that I was safe. You have to trust me on this, Evans, and let me go," I demanded.

"I don't want to stand here arguing with you all night. We have an exam in Herbology tomorrow that I plan to ace."

"Then don't argue with me any further. Get your sleep and let me get done that I need to get done. Trust me, Evans. Please…"

She sighed, "Okay, I trust you. Just don't be a dumb ass out there, okay?"

I nodded and walked quietly out of the room. No one was in around, so I morphed. I got to the grounds and into the tunnel safely. In no time, I was in the shack and I could hear Remus thrashing about above me. I took the steps two at a time and came to the bedroom.

"I solemnly swear I am up to no good," I said quickly and the door flew open.

As I walked in, I watched Padfoot pounce on Moony and they both fell to the ground. A low growl came from Moony's throat as he threw Padfoot off of him. Padfoot hit the wall and slid to the ground as Prongs took his place in the scuffle. I had never seen Moony so violent. That is when I decided to intervene.

"Remus, I am here," I said loudly to make sure that he could hear me. "Look at me."

I took another step towards him and Moony's head turned to look at me. A moment later, Remus was lying on the ground in the place of the monster. I kneeled beside him and took his face in my hands.

"You were right," he whispered. "It wasn't just a one time thing."

I nodded and Sirius, in his human form, pulled me up to my feet.

"I thought we told you not to come," he exclaimed.

"You did, but you couldn't stop me."

James stepped forward, "I told Lily not to let you."

"She is resting up for her Herbology exam," I explained to him, then looked at Remus; he looked angry, "Sirius, I would let go of me if I were you."

He did and I kneeled back down beside Remus.

"Will you help me up to the bed," he asked. "I hurt so much – I can hardly move."

"Of course," I replied and helped him up.

We went into the nicer bedroom that we had been in earlier that day and I sat against the headboard of the bed. I held Remus' head in my lap, stroking it and trying to get him to relax.

"I am so tired," he whispered, "Thank God this is the last night."

"I know Remmie," I said, "Just go to sleep."

James entered the room a moment later.

"I don't know what you are doing, Ani," James whispered as Remus' eyes drifted shut, "but it is keeping him calm. The moon is bright and shining but Moony is himself."

I nodded, "I believe that tonight, he is going to sleep well. You guys can go back to your room. I have everything here under control."

James nodded and left as I got out of the bed and took off my robes. A moment later, I was under the covers with Remus, holding him close and falling asleep.

* * *

I felt a hand on my cheek and my eyes fluttered open. Remus was smiling down at me as I awoke and I gave him a tired smile back.

"Good morning," I whispered, "Sleep well?"

"Yes. Better than I have in a long time," he told me, "It worked. Your theory worked."

"Yeah."

We just looked at each other for a moment in silence. I knew that Remus was about to say something to me by the way he was brushing the hair out of my eyes. All I could do was wait.

"Thank you for last night," he said finally.

"Don't mention it. That is what friends are for."

I smiled, but something sharp stabbed me inside. The expression on Remus' face fell.

"Yeah," he said and got out of bed, "We have class in a while. Would you like to take a walk around the lake?"

I nodded and slipped my robes on over my pajamas. Once Remus and I were outside, a cool breeze hit us. I looked around and noticed that fall was coming our way quickly. Beautiful shades of orange, yellow, red and brown leaves were lining the ground. My bare feet walked over the dew-covered grass and kicked up the leaves.

"You don't wear shoes when you morph, do you," he asked.

"Sometimes."

"You look really cold. Are you all right? Do you want to go back up to the castle?"

I shook my head, "I am fine. It'll get warmer as the day goes on. Look, the sun is rising."

We walked over to a bench on the edge of the lake, facing the sunrise. Remus put his arm around me as we looked out at the lake and the colors that the slowly rising sun was casting on the softly rippling water and felt the warmth as it brightened the earth with its soft glow.

I smiled and took a deep breath of cool, fresh air, "In all of the years that I have been here, I have never even seen the sun rise."

"I come out here a lot the morning after a full moon," he said, pulling me closer to him, "It is refreshing to say the least. No matter how terrible the night before was, seeing the sunrise always gives me hope. It shows me that there is always another day and, in the end, everything will be okay."

My eyes closed as I listened to Remus' heartbeat beneath my head, "You are strong, Remus. Stronger then I could ever be."

I felt Remus shake his head, "There, you are wrong, Ani. You are stronger than I. You could have forgotten about me a long time ago and forgotten about our friendship. However, you have never turned your back on me – not once. You have stayed with me, and for that, I thank you for your strength."

We talked for a while longer and then walked up to the Gryffindor Tower to get dressed. I walked into my room quickly as Lily was putting on s shirt.

"Sorry," I said as I walked towards my trunk, but took a double take at her arm. There was a mark on her left arm above her elbow. "Hey, what's that," I asked, moving closer to her.

"Nothing," she replied, covering it with her shirt.

"Okay," I said, shrugging.

"Well, I have to get to breakfast…patrolling duties," she informed me, slipping on her robes more quickly than I have ever seen her; I believe it was mostly out of fear, "See you later."

She left in a hurry, and I thought nothing about that incident for the rest of the day.


	7. Chapter Six

The Truth About Remus  
Chapter Six

It was October 31st; in the Great Hall, it was breakfast time, and students, fourth year and up, were fidgety and excited about the night's events. The Halloween ball was going to take place beginning at eight that evening and would run all the way to after midnight. Remus and I continuously looked up from across the table at one another and smiled. Ever since fourth year, the exchange of shy glances and silly grins became a tradition the morning of the ball. James was nowhere to be found and Sirius kept looking around and winking at his several dates.

_He is such a player_, I caught myself thinking in between chewing my banana and looking up to see if Remus was looking at me.

"Good morning, Marauders. May I introduce you to my date tonight…"

I looked up from my breakfast as I heard James' voice behind me. The broad smile on Sirius' face told me who was on James' arm. I turned around and saw Lily Evans beside James, looking particularly happy.

"Doth mine eyes deceive me," Sirius asked. "Mademoiselle Evans, 'tis that really thou?"

Lily laughed, "Give it up, Shakespeare."

James took a seat and Lily sat in between him and me.

"Do you have to do this every year," Lily asked after a few minutes, "I mean, every time I look up to grab something, there you two are, practically falling all over each other," she exclaimed, talking about the way Remus and I always looked up at each other, "You shouldn't look so bashful – I mean, you have slept with the guy. Tie the knot already!"

"I have not slept with him," I told her, "I mean, I have, but I have not had sex with him."

Lily shook her head and opened her mouth to say something, but I noticed that Remus had gotten up and was walking over to me.

"Anistasia, may I escort you to our first class," he asked.

I laughed, "Getting formal on me?"

"I don't know. I just though I would ask."

"Yes."

"Yes what?"

"You may escort me to our first class!"

"Right," Remus exclaimed and held out his arm, "Let us be off, beautiful maiden."

"Yes, brave knight. You have banished my breakfast, and now you are off to slay the evils of Divination!"

Remus and I laughed at the memory of one of our childhood make believe games as we headed up to the top of the North Tower. Once, Remus so much as carried me up the stairs until I opposed swearing. We settled down tremendously once we were inside the classroom and sitting on the pouf chairs that Professor Trelawney had positioned around tables. The other students staggered in and Professor Trelawney prepared to start class.

"Your crystal balls are in front of you. You will have thirty minutes to work with them, and then we will work with the Wicca boards," she explained, "get to work."

Remus smiled at me as I took my position in front of the crystal ball.

"Do you want to try partner Seeing," he asked.

I nodded and Remus sat across from me. He took my hands and we closed our eyes as they hovered over the ball. I could hear Professor Trelawney walk over and stand over my shoulder.

"I feel a strong power and energy in this partnership," she said.

"Concentrate, Ani," Remus whispered.

I took a deep breath and relaxed. I was immediately pulled into the world of Seeing. Since I was inexperienced, all that I saw were small flashes – an image appeared and was replaced almost immediately by another. I saw Remus and I dancing, a full moon, a piece of tattered parchment, Snape in a dark place, Padfoot jumping, rose pedals sprinkled over a piece of grass and the last image was – I couldn't tell. It went by too quickly. Out of shock, obviously, Remus jumped and he and I were pulled out of the zone.

"What did you two See," our professor asked.

Neither of us knew what to say – all we could do was shake out heads and I slid the crystal ball to the side of the table. Professor Trelawney sighed and handed us a Wicca board.

"Remus and Anistasia," she said, "I want you two to stay paired up."

I smiled at Remus, but he gave me nothing in return.

"What's wrong," I asked as I spread out the Wicca board.

Remus shook his head, "What was that?"

"What?"

"The last thing we saw…"

"I don't know…it was…steamy and there was a bed…"

"Lets ask the Wicca board."

I nodded and Remus and I took hold of the Eye. I could feel Professor Trelawney's glare on us as I asked the question.

"What was the last thing that Remus and I saw in the crystal ball?"

The Eye moved under our fingers and, slowly, the letters were revealed. I looked up at Remus. He raised his eyebrows at me.

**DEATH**

Then the Eye stopped completely. All Remus and I could do was look at each other.

* * *

"Hey, hey – looking good," I exclaimed, walking into my room, wearing my bathrobe and drying my hair.

Lily was standing in front of the mirror, doing her make up.

"Thanks," she told me, "but what are you doing? You haven't even gotten dressed yet!"

I laughed, "Don't worry about me! I will be ready in time. Just worry about yourself. Your date _is_ James Potter, you know."

"Yeah…you know, he has asked me out countless times, but I never even thought to say 'yes' until he asked me to go with him to the ball tonight. I wonder why."

"Maybe is it because you were meant to be."

"Sure Ani…"

I pulled my dress robes from my trunk, laid them on my bed and with a simple drying spell, my black, wet hair became dry, wispy and shiny. I pulled a few strands of hair apart from my head and began curling them with spells and then put on my robes.

"Wow, Remus is very lucky."

I smiled at Lily, "Thanks."

"Here, let me do your make up – the Muggle way."

I laughed and sat in front of the make up counter.

"My gods, Ani! How long has it been since you have taken care of this jungle above your eyes," Lily asked.

"What?"

"Your eyebrows! There are so many ingrown hairs and rough spots ---"

"Oh shut up and just tweeze them!"

We laughed and Lily got down to work. Every time I tried to look at the mirror, Lily would turn me around and scold me endlessly as she added more blush or put on eye shadow. After thirty minutes, Lily stood back.

"Wow, is that a beautiful face," she asked, admiring her work, "Remus is not going to be able to take his eyes off of you! Stand up and turn around!"

I took a deep breath and, smiling, I looked in the mirror.

"Oh my Gods," I gasped, "Lily, you are my best friend."

My straight, black hair was accented with a few curly locks here and there and my deep, green eyes were brought out by the light brown eye shadow. The dark, black eyeliner darkened my eyes and the black mascara lengthened and curled my eyelashes flawlessly. A peach colored blush brightened my cheeks and my lips were shiny, smooth and irresistible. My royal purple dress robes had been modified (by me) so that they formed to my curvy body to my waist and then they belled out like a dress. Around my stomach and around my elbows the dress material was lace and after the lace on my elbows, the sleeves belled out to my fingers. On my feet, I wore purple glass slippers and I took my black cloak from the bed. I clipped the pennant of the Hogwarts Crest at my neck and spun in my costume.

"What do you think," I asked.

"Get out of here before I kill you for being so damn pretty," Lily ordered.

I laughed and led the way out of the room and onto the balcony overlooking the Gryffindor Common Room. James and Remus were sitting on the couch beneath us, deep in conversation. Lily cleared her throat politely and the men's conversation ceased. I was looking at Remus, waiting for his reaction. He and James looked at the two of us at the same time and I was happy to see Remus' jaw drop. Lily and I walked down the stairs, side by side, and our men met us at the landing, holding a dozen orange roses each.

"You look absolutely stunning," Remus told me, placing the flowers in my arms and stepping back to look at me.

"So do you," I replied, observing him.

Lily and James were just staring at each other and Remus gave James a nudge. He reacted with a sudden, jolted reflex – his arms shot out and they held the roses out towards Lily as though he had just realized that they were infested with bugs. I laughed as a few of the orange pedals flew off of the bouquet and hit Lily. Remus shook his head as Lily took the flowers, dropped them, picked them up and dropped them again.

Remus held his arm out to me as Lily's flowers lie on the ground, forgotten. "May I?"

I nodded and slipped my arm into his. We watched as James held his arm out to Lily. She tripped as she tried to intertwine her arm with his, which made James face her and catch her before she could hit the ground. I had to bury my face in Remus' shoulder so my giggles were muffled, Once Lily was straight and calm again, the four of us left the common room.

"So, Padfoot is making his rounds," I asked.

"Actually, no," James said, and it seemed to me that he was back to his right mind. "He told the girls to meet him in the Entrance Hall."

"You're kidding," I asked, "There should be a law against taking more than one date to the ball."

"Well, what can you expect? He is Sirius after all," Remus said.

"Jesus wept," Lily hissed as we entered the Entrance Hall.

"Good Gods," I exclaimed, looking at Sirius and the mob of no less than fifteen girls around him. "He has really done it this time. Prongs, you have to talk to him about this after the ball."

"Me," James asked.

"Yes," Lily said, backing me up.

"Okay."

I raised my eyebrows. It was then that I knew James had totally lost it. The four of us neared the Great Hall and the two great oak doors were standing wide open. Inside, it was nearly pitch black. Of the several candles floating in midair, only a few of them were lit. Most of the light was coming from the jack-o-lanterns that were talking in rough voices and making faces at the couples dancing. We entered the hall and I saw that small, round tables were placed at the edges of the room for students to sit at and have a drink. The ground was bewitched to have fog cover it, which moved swiftly and curled lightly around peoples' feet and robes. The wizarding rock band, Lucius and the Slyths, were performing their song, "Nothing Today".

"Hey, didn't that guy go to Hogwarts," I asked.

"Who," Remus asked.

"The lead singer – the electric guitar player with the blonde hair."

"Yes," Lily told me, "That is Lucius Malfoy. He was in his fifth year when we came here. His band played at several of the school balls.

"How do you know all of this," I asked as we took a seat at one of the vacant tables.

"I dated the drummer when I was a third year and got to come and watch them perform."

"You dated a Slytherin," James and I asked in unison.

"Don't sound so surprised," Lily said, "He, Rabastan Lestrange, was Head Boy in his seventh year, so he was the best out of the bunch."

"I should have known," I mumbled lightly as a pitcher of warm butterbeer appeared at the table.

We talked about our classes as the songs played and we laughed as we watched Sirius get thrown around by his dates.

"I don't think you'll need to talk too much sense into old Padfoot, Prongs," I said with a laugh. "I think that those chicks are knocking it into him."

"I hear that he only asks so many girls is because he doesn't want his little brother to think that he is a looser," Lily informed us.

"He hates that little slime ball – why would he worry about impressing him," I asked, "No, he hates his whole family. I wonder why he still lives with the lot of them."

"He doesn't," James said quickly, "he ran away during the summer. He lives with me now."

I took a drink of my butterbeer and wondered why he or Sirius hadn't told us that before when Remus nudged me and pointed to the doors.

"Speak of the devil," he said and I looked to where he was pointing.

Regulus Black, Sirius' fourth year, Slytherin brother, had just walked into the Great Hall with a girl on each arm.

"My Gods," I gasped, "I forgot that he was in his fourth year now. Bloody hell, there is going to be trouble tonight."

"Maybe we should get Padfoot and leave," Remus began, "before anything can start up."

"No, Moony. Everything will be fine," James assured us, "Not even Regulus is thick enough to pull something while Dumbledore is around."

Remus took a sip of his butterbeer and I looked worriedly at Regulus.

"If you want to keep an eye on him, we can go out and dace," Remus said to me.

I shook my head. "I don't really want to watch him…but I would like to dance."

With a nod, Remus took me onto the dance floor. Sirius saw us at one point and shot us a look, a pleading look, to get him off of the dance floor. I shook my head at him and he was pulled back into the mob of girls.

"Hey look," Remus yelled over the music. "Its Bill!"

I turned around and there he was, dancing with a fourth year Hufflepuff, his long, red hair flying everywhere. He had a huge grin on his face as he looked up at the girl who was nearly a head taller than him.

"I think Bill out does Padfoot any day," I laughed, as the music slowed down into a ballad, "Look at the little guy go!"

Remus pulled me toward him for a slow dance. He put his hands on my waist and whispered in my ear:

"Yes, but no one can out do me."

I smiled sheepishly and put my hands around his neck, "Oh, Remus…"

"Shhh…"

He quieted me and we just stared at each other as the music went on. After the song ended, Remus smiled, grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the Great Hall.

"Moony, where are we going," I asked.

"I thought we could take a stroll," he told me.

I wondered why Remus had this certain and sudden urge to be outside; instead of pounding him with questions, I just followed his lead. Once outside, Remus didn't let go of my hand. He just continued to lead me silently toward the lake. Once we were on the very edge, he looked at me.

"I have a little Halloween treat for you," he told me, "Look out at the lake."

I did as told and Remus took out his wand. He muttered an incantation I could hardly make out, and a mist came from the tip of his wand. The cloud formed to create a life size castle with several towers. A pack of unicorn were grazing in the distance and two seven year olds, a girl with long, black hair and a boy with short dark hair, were riding on the back of a dragon.

I smiled, "Moony, that is so cute! Just how I imagined my fairy tale home."

"You don't have to imagine anymore," he whispered to me, "Given you can't live in it, that image will be there every night, until the end of time. The best thing about it is that we are the only two who can see it…only we can share it."

"Thank you, Remus."

He hugged me and kissed me on the cheek. The two of us walked around the lake admiring it for a while and headed back to the castle. As we entered the doors to the castle, there was a good bit of yelling that could be heard coming from the Entrance Hall. Remus and I entered Ground Zero where Sirius and Regulus were yelling at each other.

"My guess is that Dumbledore isn't around," I mumbled to Remus.

"--- disgrace to the Black Family," Regulus was yelling, "I can't believe you even still dare to call yourself a Black!"

"Oh, believe me, Regulus," Sirius spat, "I would rather be kissed by a Dementor than be a part of your family."

"Don't worry, sissy. My mum blasted your name off of the tree ages ago."

Sirius advanced on Regulus, "You won't be calling me a sissy once your mouth finds that it is a bit preoccupied with my fist!"

"Bwing it on, widdle Siwius! 'Boo-hoo, I couldn't be a weal man, so I wan away fwom home!' Come on, coward! What the fuck are you waiting for?"

BAM! It had to be Sirius' mighty fast dog reflexes, because I didn't even see his fist hit Regulus' nose. One minute, he was standing, the next moment, he was on the ground, holding his nose and a puddle of blood was forming on the ground.

"Get up, pussy, or have you had enough," Sirius asked.

Regulus jumped up and lunged at Sirius without thinking. Sirius bent over, picked him up by his knees and flipped him over his shoulder. Regulus landed on his back, but had strength enough to kick the back of Sirius' knees and he went down. Regulus mounted him and began throwing punches at Sirius.

"Who – is – the – pussy – now," Regulus asked, placing each word between each punch.

Sirius threw a great punch into Regulus' jaw and, while his bro was dazed, got back onto his feet. He kicked Regulus in the stomach and he doubled over in pain.

"Remus, do something, please," I begged, "and why the hell isn't James here?"

"Padfoot is probably getting laid," Remus told me as he left.

I watched as Remus pulled Sirius away from Regulus and whispered something to him. Sirius took a deep breath to calm down, and right when neither of them were looking, Regulus jumped up and punched Remus in the face.

"Hey," I yelled, pushing my way through the throng of people, "dumb fuck!"

Just as Regulus turned to face me, I took a shot at landing a sidekick in his face. He grabbed my foot and flipped me over. I landed on my left arm hard and Remus punched Regulus in the spine. He turned around and went for Remus when I jumped on his back and bit his ear.

"Hey! No fair! That's three against one," I heard one of the chicks that Regulus brought to the dance yell.

"Not anymore, it isn't."

Professor and Deputy Headmistress McGonagall emerged from the parted crowd. I dropped off of Regulus' back and looked her in the eye.

"What is going on out here?"

"A fight," one of the Hufflepuffs yelled.

"Ms. Willow, Mr. Black, Mr. Lupin and Mr. Black, I would like to see the four of you in my office immediately," Professor McGonagall ordered.

"Professor," Sirius spoke up, "Please leave Anistasia and Remus out of this. This whole thing was mine and Regulus' fault."

"Fine," she said with pursed lips, "Sirius and Regulus, to my office. Ms. Willow and Mr. Lupin, you both will be receiving three days detention for what I have witnessed, and Mr. Lupin, your Prefect status shall be suspended for two weeks. Hand in your badge first thing tomorrow morning. As for the rest of you, twenty points will be taken from each of your houses. Now, please, return to the ball."

I slipped my arm in Remus' and whispered 'thank you' to Sirius before walking back into the Great Hall with my date.

"Grab a partner and huddle close for the last dance of the night," Lucius announced.

I placed my arms around Remus' neck and noticed how miserable he looked.

"Moony, its only for two weeks," I said, knowing that the suspension of his Prefect duties was what was bothering him.

"Its not only that," he replied, "I feel as though I have let my parents down. Did you see how proud they looked when I was wearing that badge for the first time?"

"They are always proud of you!"

"No they aren't. They are always afraid of me. Do you know what it is like, coming upstairs after a night in the basement and seeing the sheer horror on my mum's face? Do you know what it is like to see your dad get scared when you start arguing with him and then he stops when you get too close because he is afraid that you might loose control and attack him? The only time I saw them forget their fear is when I got that badge. That was the only time that they accepted me for whom I was."

"Remus, that is not true. Your parents love you."

"Yeah? Well, what about everyone else who knows my secret? They are all afraid of me! Even Dumbledore is afraid…he planted that damn tree out there and hasn't spoken a word to me since. Sometimes I see that Padfoot and Prongs are scared…and you…that night when I almost attacked you."

I looked him in the eyes. I had never seen so much sorrow in his face before.

I put my hand on his cheek, "I am not scared of you. I love you, Remus."

He took one of his hands from my waist and placed it under my chin. Remus bent over slightly as his face came closer to mine and I closed my eyes. I felt his warm breath on my lips before I felt his lips part mine.

The clock struck twelve. The song stopped abruptly on one horrible chord as Lucius and the members of his band grabbed their forearms. In James' room, Lily screamed, but it wasn't for the reason that James believed it to be. In Professor McGonagall's office, Regulus winced and clenched his left fist, but, besides that, ignored the pain, and Peter, alone in his hide out room, screamed and clenched the curtains of his four-poster. Only one person truly acknowledged this pain and bowed before his master.

But what did I care?


	8. Chapter Seven

The Truth About Remus

Chapter Seven

The beginning of November brought cool breezes, more homework and…detentions. Remus, Sirius and I were sitting at breakfast the morning after the ball and James and Lily walked in looking more worn out than I had ever seen either of them. Lily sat beside me and James took a seat beside Sirius.

"Coffee," Lily mumbled, "Where is the coffee…"

As I handed the pot of coffee to her, she fell forward onto the table.

"Lily," I asked, shaking her. I received no reply, so I turned to James, "Mate, she's out cold."

"Prongs, you go man," Sirius exclaimed, patting his best friend on the back and James blinked sleepily.

"I don't think Lily would mind if you drank her coffee," Remus said, "would you, Lily?"

Of course, Lily didn't respond, and Remus brought it upon himself to slide the coffee that I had poured for her over to James. He took a small sip and blinked again.

"How was your first time, man," Sirius asked.

Blink.

"Come on. You'll have to tell me sometime. I am your best friend," he exclaimed.

Blink.

"Oh well…you will get plenty of sleep tonight, Prongs," I assured him, patting his hand, "You don't have a detention."

"But we do," Remus reminded Sirius and me glumly as Lily's owl flew in with the rest of the post, "and I am not looking forward to seeing McGonagall's looks of shame."

"You can get a slut from Ravenclaw after wards," Sirius told him with a grin, "She will wipe all of your troubles away."

I took the _Daily Prophet_ from Lily's owl's talons, as Remus replied, "No thanks."

"Dude, you are the only one here that is still a virgin!"

"Correction, Ani is a virgin, too," he said.

"Guys, I think we have bigger things to worry about other than who has been banged or not," I whispered as I stared at the front page of the _Daily Prophet_.

"What," Remus asked, looking at it over my shoulder. 

"Voldemort is back," I said.

Remus, Sirius and even the brain dead James, shuttered. 

"Don't…do _that_," James told me.

"Oh, give over," I told the three of them and opened the paper.

"Didn't the _Daily Prophet_ print an article just last week that stated the Ministry had declared that Lord Vol – thingy – was gone for good," Remus asked, "That he had disappeared?"

"Yeah," Sirius agreed, "He hasn't killed in months."

"Has now," I informed them, turning the page, "Him and his Death Eaters went on a killing rampage last night. There is a three-page report on the chaos that took place last night and what the Ministry is doing to get it all straightened out. Several Muggle trick-or-treaters were killed – look, they have a picture of…they call it the Dark Mark," I whispered the name of the symbol while I remembered something I saw a few weeks earlier.

I looked at Lily, to the picture, and back at Lily.

"What's the matter, Thumper," Sirius asked.  

I shook my head, closed the newspaper and ate my breakfast.

"Well, I would love to stay and chat," Remus began, "but Professor McGonagall needs her Prefect badge back. See you all first period."

"Erm, yeah…I think I will get Lily to bed. I am sure that she will thank you for this later, Prongs," I threw one of Lily's arms over my shoulder and began standing up.

"Let me help you," Sirius said.

The both of us got Lily to the common room and up to the balcony.

"I think it would be best if I took her from here," I told him, "If you try to get into the girls' dorms, the staircase will turn into a slide and all three of us will be in trouble."

"No problem," he said, "It is worse in the Ravenclaw dorms. Bloody hell…"

"What happened," I asked.

"Blast-ended skrewts will chase you around the common room. They aren't poisonous, and everyone thinks you're crazy because only the person that tried to get up the stairs can see them."

I laughed and turned to leave but Sirius stopped me.

"Hey, you might need this for detention tonight," he said, slipping something in my pocket, "Its tons of fun."

"Erm, thanks Sirius."

He winked and left and I got Lily to her bed. Once she was lain down, I pulled up the sleeve on her left arm and looked for the mark. To my despair, the Dark Mark was there, above her elbow.

"God dammit," I hissed, throwing her arm on the bed.

Lily stirred and awoke.

"What am I doing here," she asked.

"This is your bed, genius. You fell asleep at breakfast and I brought you here. Be thankful, nasty little _Death Eater_."

Lily gasped, "You…"

"Yes, I looked at your arm! Are you _thick_? What in the hell were you _thinking_ when you joined leagues with him? Huh, Lily?"

"I can explain," she yelled.

"Good. Spill it. Give me your lame excuse."

"Well…" Lily thought for a moment, and then looked back up at me, "Okay, I can't explain. I swore to secrecy ---"

"At least I can say I gave you a chance to explain when I tell James what his girlfriend is."

"No! You cant!"

"And why the hell not," I yelled at her, "Forget it, I have to get to class."

"Please don't tell James," Lily begged, "Please don't breathe a word of this to anyone."

I sighed, "Fine, I will keep your secret – for now."

"Thank you, Ani."

_Why am I so nice_, I thought as I picked up my books and headed to my first class in a total daze.

"It looks like we've got ourselves a few trouble makers."

Filch and McGonagall looked down upon Sirius, Regulus, Remus, James and I.

"Regulus, Anistasia and James – starting with the Entrance Hall and working your way up, down and around, you three will be mopping the floors of the castle," Professor McGonagall told us, "Sirius and Remus, the trophies haven't been dusted all summer. I will take you to the Trophy Room."

Remus sighed as McGonagall escorted him and Sirius to the Trophy Room. James, Black and I went with Filch to get the mops and buckets. The three of us mopped for quite a while with only James and I talking.

"Out of all the classes I could have fallen asleep in, why did it have to be McGonagall's," James asked me.

"Hey, it was your choice," I told him as I dipped the mop in the bucket and continued to scrub, "but if you had slept through her lecturing you and assigning you detention, you wouldn't be in this mess."

"Of course then you would be here alone with this bastard," James pointed to Regulus, who was just in earshot, "and I wouldn't let that happen to you. He might rape you or something."

Regulus scowled at us and I could see the bandage on his ear from where I bit him.

"Anistasia Willow," I heard come from my pocket, "Oh Ani, are you there?"

"I hope she didn't keep the other one in her room," I heard another voice say.

"I propped the mop against one of the walls and I pulled the talking object out of my pocket. It was a mirror and when I looked into it, Sirius' face was looking out at me instead of mine.

"Wow, I look horrid," I said, smiling, "I should have put on a bit more blush…"

"Ha, very ha," Sirius said.

"Enlighten me – what is this thing that you slipped into my pocket this morning and why is it talking to me," I asked, tapping on the frame of the mirror.

"It's a magic mirror."

"Tell me something a less bit obvious."

"You've read the Muggle fairy tale, 'Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs', right?"

"Yeah…"

"Well, that story is no fairy tale," Sirius explained.

"I should have known. Go on."

"Well, you know that witch that always went 'Mirror, mirror on the wall, whose the prettiest one of all' to the mirror and a face appeared in the mirror and replied, 'Dear me, dear me, Snow White is much prettier than thee!'"

"I think that you'd better get to the point, Padfoot," I heard Remus say in the background.

"Right," Sirius said and went on, "Well, that witch was my great-great-great-great-great-great-great-I could go on ---"

"Please, don't," I begged.

"All right, well, she was my grandmother from way back when and the one who appeared in the mirror was her sister – named Mirror. Well, I found these in the attic of my house, reduced their size and now they are used for communicating purposes between detentions."

"Well that was short and sweet," I yawned.

"The story was much longer when I was first introduced to them," James said from behind me, "You truly received the shorter of the versions."

"So, how are the trophies going," I asked Sirius.

"Since you asked…" Sirius looked at the cabinet behind him, "fairly dusty."

"Why am I not in complete awe?"

"Well, by the Ministry of Magic Educational Decree Number Twelve, 'no detention can last for longer than five hours on one given day', and I know McGonagall will stretch this detention to the limit, therefore, I have two and a half hours to work."

"Good calculating, Paddy," I commented, "but what will Professor McGonagall say when she sees that hardly anything is done?"

"Oh, but Professor," Sirius began in his most innocent tone, "as you said yourself – the trophies haven't been dusted all summer…so on and so forth."

"Okay, Padfoot, its my turn for a break," Remus' voice said in the background.

"Hold on a minute, Moony. Thumper, ask Prongs how the you-know-what is going."

"But I don't know what," I replied grinning.

"You will know once its finished."

"What is it?"

"A Marauder surprise for you and Moony – now don't ask anymore questions."

"Padfoot, your minute is up," Remus exclaimed, pulling the mirror from Sirius' hands, "Now get to work."

"That is no way to speak to your friend, Moony," I sad to him.

Remus shrugged, "Have you and the oaf Regulus gotten into a brawl yet?"

"Nope, I don't think he'll want to fight with me until his ear heals…but James did call him a bastard," I grinned.

"You're lucky I'm not there. I still have to pay him back for punching me."

"Oh, and my risking my ass and sticking up for you wasn't enough?"

"Well, now that you mention it, sure, but I would still like to see his face if I went up to him and said, 'Hey, Regulus, fancy an engagement,'" he replied smiling.

I put my index finger to my temple and acted dumb, "Uh, are you asking me to marry you?"

"Matter who you are asking as," he said smoothly and a sideways grin spread across his face.

"Thumper! McGonagall is coming," James hissed to me.

"Bye, Remmie!"

I smiled once, shoved the mirror in my pocket and got back to work.


	9. Chapter Eight

The Truth About Remus

Chapter Eight

Mid-November brought harsh, bitter winds, more reported Voldemort killings, longer and more excruciating exams and victorious Quidditch matches for all four houses of Hogwarts.

Headmaster Dumbledore tapped the edge of his crystal goblet one afternoon during dinner and stood to make an announcement. The Great Hall grew silent immediately and Dumbledore cleared his throat to speak.

"It has been brought to my attention by Madam Hooch that all four of the Hogwarts Quidditch teams are equal in rank," he informed the mass of students and they began looking around at each other, "This means that I have no choice but to hold a seven day tournament on the week before holiday vacation. Madam Hooch will be putting together the schedules for the tournament and they will be given to team captains for reference and Prefects to post around the school by the closure of next week."

The Headmaster sat and the Great Hall burst into applause. Certainly, this was the greatest news any of us had heard in weeks. After dinner, the gang and I headed up to Gryffindor tower to hang out.

"I wonder what's on the notice board," James said, sitting down.

"Why didn't you go over there and look at it when you came in," I asked.

"Don't you see I have my hands full," he asked as Lily sat in his lap.

"Your loss."

"Fine, I guess I will just have to summon the board to me. _Accio_ ----"

"NO," I interrupted, "I will go see what is up there!"

I walked up to the notice board and looked for the new memos.

"Personal ads…homework reminders…" I whispered, and then said aloud, "Hogsmeade weekend is next Saturday and, hey Remus…there is a message from Professor Trelawney up here for us."

I pulled it off of the board and took it to him.

"Divination Club," he asked, "but why us?"

"She senses a powerful energy in us," I said in my best Trelawney voice.

"Okay, you can sit down now," James said.

"Thank you for your permission, Thongs," I mumbled as I stretched out on the couch with Remus.

"Thongs," Sirius laughed, "Yeah, he's got a couple of those ---"

"SHUT UP, Padfoot," James exclaimed.

"Prongs in a thong," Remus asked, doubled over in laughter, "Oh, that's rich!"

"Be nice to be, Moony, or you wont be part of the secret Padfoot and I have been putting together," James warned.

"Oh," I asked, "Is it finished?"

James looked to Sirius and Sirius nodded, "Yes."

"Goody! I wanna see!"

"Calm down, Humper," James said, "Padfoot, if you will…"

Sirius nodded again and left to go up to his room. Remus and I sat patiently and Sirius seemed to take his sweet old time. Right when I was about to burst, Sirius emerged from the staircase leading to the boys' dormitories, hiding something in his right pocket. Once he was standing in the middle of our huddle, he turned to James.

"You want me to show 'em now, boss," he asked, sounding like a member of the Italian Mafia.

"Yes, Padfoot, go ahead."

Sirius didn't waste an instant as he pulled his hand out of his pocket and unraveled the piece of parchment he was holding. Then, he held it out, open, to Remus and I as though it was the greatest thing on the planet.

"A piece of blank parchment," I asked, thoroughly disappointed. "Is this your wonderful surprise?"

"Well…yes."

I sighed and closed my eyes.

"What were you expecting," James asked.

"Something…well, I don't know," Remus said, "Certainly not a piece of parchment."

"But this isn't just a piece of parchment," Sirius explained, "Really, you two should know us better than that!"

"Tell us what it is, exactly, before I rip it into pieces," I told him.

"Do you want to play a guessing game," Sirius asked jokingly and I growled, "Okay, okay. It is a map."

"A map," I whispered.

"Yes, a map," he whispered back.

"But, not just any map," James explained in a regular voice, "It's the Marauders Map. Just place the tip of your wand on the parchment and chant, 'I solemnly swear I am up to no good', and a map of the school of the area you are in will appear. There will be dots moving across the map, labeled with the names of the people who are those dots. Also labeled are the several hidden passageways that we have found and if you come to a passageway that needs a password, the password will show up on the parchment. To erase the map, say 'mischief managed' and no one will be able to see what this is."

"What if we misplace the map," Remus asked, "or if it is confiscated?"

Sirius thought for a moment, then replied, "Just be extra careful."

"Now, one of the fun things with this map is if someone else tries to see the contents of the map who is untrustworthy, a series of insults from our personal collection will appear on the parchment," James told us.

"Wicked," I said.

"Knew you'd like it," Sirius said, winking.

I turned to the entrance of the common room as Bill walked in. He looked troubled as he sat in an abandoned corner by himself.

"Um…excuse me," I said, getting up and walking over to where Bill was sitting.

 I approached and kneeled beside the chair. He looked up at me, but other than that, didn't acknowledge me at all.

"Hi," I said softly, putting my hand on his, "What's wrong?"

"Silvia dumped me," he said.

"The fourth year Hufflepuff girl?"

"Yes."

"Awl, Bill, I am so sorry to hear that." 

"She was my first girlfriend," he told me in barely a whisper.

I smiled softly and embraced him in a hug that he looked like he needed right then, "It'll be okay. There will be others and I am sure that you will like them a lot more."

The hug ended and he sat back, looking me in the face, "Do you have a boyfriend?"

I laughed gently and he looked offended. I stopped quickly and replied, "No, I don't."

"That is what everyone tells me…but it looks to me that you and Remus go out."

"No, he and I are just good friends."

"Good friends that kiss in the middle of a slow dance?"

I felt my face go red, "You saw that, eh?"

"Yes," Bill replied, nodding, "You like him, don't you?"

"Define 'like'."

"You are in love with him."

"No," I told him, shaking my head, "I love him, but I am not in love with him. He is my best friend."

"You know, I never really liked Silvia anyway," Bill informed me brightly, "but there is someone that I really like."

"Who," I asked in a curious tone.

"You."

"Oh, Bill, I cant get into a relationship with you ---"

"Not like that," he exclaimed, laughing, "Don't get me wrong – I think you are very pretty and nice, but I like you as a friend!"

"You are a great guy, Bill," I said, standing up, "Would you like to sit with my friends and me?"

"Sure!"

I hugged him close as we walked over to my posse.

"Why, out of everybody in the school, did we get exclusive invitations to join the Divination Club," Remus asked me as we climbed the stairs to the top of the North Tower.

"Didn't I answer that question earlier," I asked.

"Yes."

He was silent for a moment and then spoke again.

"Why were we given this gift?"

"Ask the spirit board."

"Very funny."

Remus and I climbed into the Divination room. There were nine other students in there, we noticed.

"Welcome," Professor Trelawney said in that misty voice of hers, "I am pleased to see that you two have arrived…of course, I knew that you were going to come."

We nodded and sat at our usual table just as the trap door swung open again and Bill climbed in. Professor Trelawney eyed him strangely.

"My dear, who might you be," she asked.

"Bill Weasley," he replied, "I am a first year Gryffindor."

Trelawney smiled, "I am pleased to have you here, Mr. Weasley. Please, have a seat. It is nearly time to get started."

I waved to Bill and he came to sit with Remus and I.

"Hey, Bill, what's going on," Remus asked him, punching his shoulder lightly.

"Nothing really, Moony."

I laughed, "Since when do you call the Marauders by their nicknames?"

Bill got a scared look on his face, "Er…its okay if I do that, isn't it?"

"Of course," Remus replied, "but now, you will need a nickname."

"Like a Marauder nickname," Bill exclaimed, his eyes beaming with excitement.

"Exactly like a Marauder nickname," I assured him.

"This is going to be hard, though…we usually base our nicknames on, I mean, our personalities reflect our nicknames," Remus said, catching himself before he revealed that Sirius, James and I were animagi.

"Oh, it shouldn't be too hard. We can hold a meeting later tonight," I told them.

Remus and Bill nodded as Professor Trelawney called the meeting to order. 

"I would like to call the first meeting of the Divination Club to order," she announced, "Here in the club, I would like to help you build on your strengths in this branch of magic and allow you to meet new people and make new friends. Tonight we are going to experiment with some things, just to see where your strengths lie. In the middle of your table, you will be able to find several things that will aid you. Please begin."

I looked ay the items placed in the middle of the table. Bill looked a bit uneasy.

"What is the matter," I asked him.

"I have never done this kind of magic before."

"Its not very difficult," Remus said, "Just watch Ani and I. You'll get the hang of it in no time."

"Lets read tea leaves first," I said, picking up one of the teacups.

As I stood to get some tea, Trelawney walked over to our table with a girl beside her.

"Would you be so kind as to allow Crystal to work with you," Professor Trelawney asked, motioning towards the brown haired, blue eyed girl at her side, "She is a first year Hufflepuff. Can you take her under your wing and introduce her to some of the basics?"

"Of course, Professor," I replied and the girl took a seat beside Bill and Remus.

"Hi, I am Remus Lupin," he told her, "What is your name?"

"Crystal Star," the girl mumbled nervously and looked at her hands in her lap.

I looked at Bill and smiled. He looked at Crystal as though he had found a new love.

"Remus, you like to get tea with me," I asked, nudging him.

Catching on, he nodded and we walked to the other side of the room to get the tea. Once we were back at the table, Bill and Crystal were engaged in a conversation. Remus smiled at me as we drank our tea, and began to read the leaves.

I opened the signs book and Crystal helped me read my leaves as Bill helped Remus read his. 

"Here," I told her, handing the cup to her, "Look around and tell me what you see."

"Um…" Crystal scrunched up her face and peered into the cup, "I see…a ghost…"

I looked down at the pages and looked for what a ghost might mean. I found it almost instantly.

"A ghost," I read, "symbolizes that you are always followed by a loved one who has passed on and looked over by them."

"Neat," Crystal exclaimed and looked for more objects.

After tealeaves, we worked on tarot cards. That worked for a while until Crystal kept mixing up the meanings of the cards. While I helped her try to sort my reading out, Remus nudged me.

"Yeah," I asked, looking up at him.

 "Would you like to do a bit of crystal ball Seeing," he asked mysteriously.

I nodded and Crystal put the tarot cards away as Remus and I set up the crystal ball. Bill and Crystal took seats opposite each other as I took a seat opposite of Remus. I smiled shyly as he took my hands and held them over the ball. I closed my eyes and I could feel an odd energy run up, out of the ball, and through Remus and I. As though it were a wall of ice water, an image hit me and sorted itself out in my mind.

It was of Remus, sitting on a cold, concrete bench. The ground beneath his shiny black shoes was green and springy with grass and blood red rose pedals surrounded him. He was looking at something in a small, palm-sized black box and running one of his fingers along something inside of it. Suddenly, he closed the box with a sense of angst and a lone tear fell down his cheek. Then he stood, shoved the box in the pocket of his robes and walked out of sight.

Then the connection broke. My body fell backwards into the pouf and my hands released themselves from Remus' grip. My hands were clammy and sweat lined my forehead. I looked at Remus, and I knew that he was horrified.

"I felt the energy the two of your were giving off while Seeing," Professor Trelawney exclaimed excitedly, "What did you See? Can you do that again?"

"No," Remus said flatly and I looked at him shocked.

He gave me no explanation for his answer as he got up and left the room.

Remus was still testy when I walked into the common room with Bill after Divination Club. He was trying to get some homework done as I sat on the couch beside him.

"Are you okay," I asked him, putting my hand on his leg.

"Yeah," he said shortly.

Sirius and James looked up from their homework. They had never heard Remus speak to me like that. I ignored it and turned to my other fellow Marauders.

"Hey, I kind of promised Bill that we would give him a Marauder nickname – that is, if it is alright with you," I said.

Sirius and James beamed, "Initiation ceremony time!"

"What," Bill squeaked.

"Don't worry," James said.

"Its harmless," Sirius assured him.

"And you will become an honorary member of the Marauders."

"Sweet," Bill exclaimed, "What do I have to do?"

"All you have to do is say one sentence – an oath that you will take, promising your loyalty to us," James explained, "With this oath, you sign a contract in blood saying that you keep everything that you know about the Marauders within the Marauders. We will then be your brothers and sister – your family – we will risk our necks for you and we expect the same in return. There are no secrets within our circle and every argument is resolved before the sun sets. William Weasley, raise your right hand and repeat after me: I solemnly swear I am up to no good."

Bill raised his right hand and, smiling, repeated, "I solemnly swear I am up to no good."

"Congratulations," I exclaimed, "You are now an honorary Marauder."

"Now, you need a nickname," Sirius said, "What is your favorite animal?"

"Oh, that's easy! A scorpion," Bill told him.

The four eldest members of the Marauders were silent for a moment.

"Stryker," Remus said suddenly.

James, Sirius and I looked at Bill. 

"Do you like that," I asked.

"Yeah," Bill replied, "I like it."

The five of us celebrated the new addition to the Marauders into the early hours of the morning.


	10. Chapter Nine

The Truth About Remus

Chapter Nine

"Got everything," Lily asked me.

"Money – check. Cloak – check. Energy Bars – check. Yup, that's everything," I replied.

"Nice. Come on. The guys are waiting."

Lily and I walked into the common room and saw James talking to Bill. The moment he saw us, however, he stopped talking and stood up straight.

"Good morning, angels," he said to us.

"Good morning, Prongs," I replied, "Where are Moony and Padfoot?"

"In our room, trying to figure out where Padfoot hid his money."

Lily laughed, "The last time I saw him, he told me that he only had one knut!"

A horrified look spread across his face, "My best friend only has one nut? No way, I can't let him live like that! I wonder of St. Mungo's carries ---"

"James Potter, not another word," I exclaimed as Bill was almost on the floor in fits of laughter.

Remus and Sirius, carrying his moneybag (and it looked quite full to me) came over to us.

"Found it," Sirius said brightly holding up his bag.

"How many nuts do you have," James asked quickly, "and you can be totally honest with me. I do not judge ---"

I elbowed James in the stomach, "Padfoot, don't answer that."

Remus smiled and looked at us, "Are we ready to go?"

"Yeah, I believe so," Lily replied.

I kneeled to talk to Bill, who had calmed down by this time, "You be good, Stryker, mmm'kay? Do some homework or something. We will be back before you know it."

"Sure thing, Thumper," he said to me, but winked in James' direction.

I stood, not sure of what to make of it, but ultimately decided to ignore it.

"Lets get going, guys, or we'll be late," Sirius said at last.

Our group nodded and left the common room towards the Entrance Hall. Practically the entire population of Hogwarts' fourth, fifth, sixth and seventh years were huddled tightly together, waiting for Professor McGonagall to let them loose.

"--- Filch will be checking to make sure that no one who is not allowed to be outside the Hogwarts Grounds is released. That is all, and have a nice day."

She opened the doors to the outside of the school. The cool, autumn breeze hit us like a breath of fresh air. The expressions on everyone's faces brightened up as though they were suddenly reborn. Students hopped, skipped, jumped and ran to the edge of the grounds where they were met by the ill mannered caretaker, who looked as though he would rather be slowly and painfully eaten by centaurs than checking off mindless students' names.

My friends and I passed inspection and walked lightly down the road after our classmates towards Hogsmeade.

"What are we going to do first," I asked.

"Zonko's and Honeydukes, of course," James exclaimed.

"I need more quills," Lily stated.

"And I more parchment," Sirius added, "I used the last of mine on the Marauder's Map."

"I need tarot cards," I said as we walked into the village.

Remus looked down at me with a disgusted look on his face, "Why would you need _those_?"

"I promised Crystal I would teach her how to read them before the next meeting of the Divination Club," I explained to him.

I looked around at all of the shops we were passing. As we passed each one, I grew more and more depressed. There were WANTED fliers up everywhere for the capture of Lord Voldemort – dead or alive, beaten or tortured, cut up in pieces or whole. The award was one million Galleons. Signs for the Death Eaters' capture was almost the same, except the reward was 750, 000 Galleons. News on Lord Voldemort's whereabouts would be rewarded with 5,000 Galleons. My thoughts were interrupted by Remus' next sentence.

"You're still going to go to that," he asked.

"Yeah, aren't you?"

"No."

"Why not," I asked, practically whining, "You are good at it! I can't do crystal ball Seeing without you!"

"Divination is the cheapest God damned fucking magic in the universe, that's why," Remus yelled at me, "Nothing in that class is real."

Remus and I stood, face to face, in the middle of the street.

Sirius whistled, "I think we need to leave while these two sort this out."

"Yeah," Lily agreed, "Guys, we'll be in the writing surplus shop if you need us."

They walked off, leaving Remus and I alone.

"What do you mean, nothing in that class is real," I asked as though we were never interrupted.

"You can't touch the magic in there. All you do is predict, and even that is uncertain. Everything is just a mere guessing game, and I am sick and tired of it!"

Remus turned away from me and hid his face in his hands. I stepped forward and put my hand on his shoulder.

"What is the matter, Remus," I probed, "What happened last time at Divination Club?"

Remus turned around, took one good look at me and embraced me in a hug.

"Nothing," he said, though it sounded like he was trying to convince himself more than me, "Everything this fine. Why don't we catch up to the others?"

He let go of me and we found James, Lily and Sirius in front of the writing supplies store.

By noon, we had found our way to an empty booth in the Three Broomsticks, loaded down with Zonko's jokes, tarot cards, Honeydukes treats and more.

"I hope Stryker will like the Droobles Best Blowing Gum and Sugar Quills I bought for him," I said to no one in particular.

"You like him, don't you, Thumper," Remus asked.

"Its my turn to get the lunches," Sirius said, "The regular for everyone?"

We nodded and I turned to Remus smiling.

"Yeah, I reckon I do," I stated after a moment, "He is my ideal son, I guess."

"Awl, that is sweet," Lily exclaimed, "What about you, Remus? How would you picture your ideal son or daughter?"

Remus blushed as he thought for a moment, "I'd have to agree with Thumper on ideal son. Stryker is an awesome kid. He would have to have a strong, solid name, like Wolfric. That is one of Dumbledore's names.

"Wolfric is a good, strong name," I replied, "but I would want something with a bit more 'umph' to it." 

"Like…?"

"Draco," I said finally, "It's the first word in the Hogwarts' school motto and is Latin for dragon."

Remus shrugged, "It's a good name, but it has a more evil air to it than 'umph'. What about you guys? What would you name your son?"

"Harry," James and Lily said in unison, and then looked at each other in surprise.

"I didn't know ---"

"Since when did you ---"

They looked to one another, confused for a moment, and then burst out laughing as Sirius came back, levitating our orders with a Wingardium Leviosa spell. 

"What did I miss," he asked, setting out plates down in front of us.

"Nothing," James replied with an air of chuckle still in his voice, "Thanks, bro."

We talked while we ate, about this and that, and began planning our next attack on Snape (which Lily didn't approve of and Remus stayed out of entirely) when I felt a hard slap on my foot.

"Prongs, please don't kick me," I requested, looking across the table at him.

"I didn't kick you," he replied, "My feet are perfectly still!"

"Sirius, don't rub my leg," Lily exclaimed, slapping his shoulder.

"I was getting my napkin out of my lap," he told her.

The four of us argued until Remus quieted us. From under the table, came the muffled laughter of a little boy. James reached under the table and pulled the kid up.

"Stryker! I am glad you found your way here," James exclaimed, patting him on the back.

"Wow, this map rocks," Bill exclaimed, holding up the Marauder's latest invention, "Oh, and I walked by Snivellus while under your invisibility cloak. I pushed him over and he landed head first into a puddle. Jesus wept, you should have seen his face when everyone was laughing at him. It looked kind of like this…"

Bill screwed up his face as though he himself had just fallen into a puddle and was being laughed at. It was the greatest impression of Snape any of us had seen; only I didn't crack up.

"William, what are you doing here," I hissed, "My last words to you was to be good!"

"But Prongs told me to come!"

I looked angrily from James to Bill and back a few times.

"James, take him back up to the school. In fact, I will come with you. I need to have a nice long chat with you both."

Fearing what I might do, Remus and Lily decided to go back to the school, too, and not wanting to spend the rest of the day in Hogsmeade alone, Sirius followed.

The walk was silent as Bill stayed hidden under the invisibility cloak and I gathered my thoughts. Everyone else, especially James, feared to speak. We reached Gryffindor Tower nearly thirty minutes later, but we didn't stop walking until we were in Sirius, James and Remus' room.

Bill and James sat on the edge of James' bed while the other three sat on Sirius' bed. I stood in between the two beds, pacing back and forth. Finally, I stood before Bill.

"What in Merlin's name were you thinking," I asked him in a harsh tone, "Do you know what could have happened to you if you had been caught?"

"I am sorry, Anistasia," he told me, "I just thought it would be fun to hang out with you in Hogsmeade. I didn't think ---"

"Well, there is my answer," I interrupted, "You didn't think, did you? Of course, its not entirely your fault, is it, James?"

"No, I guess not," James replied quietly.

"You guess not? If you have to be completely honest with yourself, what would you say? I know what you would say. It is almost entirely your fault! You knew good and well what the consequences would be if Bill had been caught. You knew that Bill is only a first year and is easily influenced. You knew that what you were doing was wrong," I yelled, "and yet, you did it anyway! In fact, I am laying all of the blame of this incident on you! You are to take all responsibility for this adventure and you are to pay your friends back for the risks you took in exposing the work of the Marauders and nearly getting one expelled by doing one subject of a Marauder's homework a night for the next five nights, starting with my astronomy homework."

James nodded, "I am sorry."

I sighed and kneeled beside Bill, "Sweetie, you have got to learn to use better judgment in the future," I said softly, "You really put yourself out there today, and I am just glad that you are alright."

"Am I going to receive a Marauder punishment, too," he asked sadly.

"No," I told him, smiling, "but you are going to receive a treat from Honeydukes."

I handed him the bag of candy I got for him and he hugged me tightly.

"Thank you, Ani. This looks great."

"You are certainly welcome," I said, "So, how about you go find Crystal and tell her that I've got her tarot cards. Then I can spend the afternoon teaching them to you."

The rest of the afternoon was spent in the common room. James did my astronomy homework, Lily wrote a note to her parents, Remus and Sirius went back to Hogsmeade and Crystal, Bill and I learned how to read tarot cards while we chewed Droobles Best Blowing Gum and watched the bubbles soar around the common room, refusing to pop.


	11. Chapter Ten

The Truth About Remus

Chapter Ten

My eyes fluttered open as a thin ray of sunlight crept its way through a crack in the velvet curtains of my bed and burned my eyes.

"Wake up, sleepy head. Someone downstairs it waiting for you."

I sat up quickly at the sound of Lily's voice and jumped out of bed. Outside, it was dark. The clouds blocking the sun and were heavy – I predicted that snow was coming, and it would be here by lunch. I put on my robe and, as I began walking out of the room, there were a dozen red roses on my trunk and a note beside them:

_The first day of three, I am older than you, its December first, Happy Birthday to me! ~Moony_

I laughed. Remus was always horrible at limericks. I set the flowers in a vase of water and ran down to the common room. Remus was sitting in a large armchair.

"Happy birthday, Moony," I exclaimed, jumping in his lap.

"Hey," he replied brightly, "Well, if I knew that I was going to get a lap dance for my birthday, I would have showered!"

"So that is what that rancid smell is," I said, but kissed him on the cheek, "Thank you for the flowers."

"You are welcome, Ani. Did you like my poem?"

"Yes," I told him; it sucked, but I still liked it.

"Are you guys going to sit like that all day long," Lily asked, appearing in front of us, "or will you actually make an attempt to make it to class before it is half over."

"Well, I am pretty comfortable," I replied, "What about you, Moony?"

"I think I like it right here, thanks for asking, Lily."

"Did you even hear the second part of my question? You guys are nearly five minutes late for class!"

"What," Remus asked, checking the grandfather clock in the corner of the room, "Shit!"

Remus and I ran up to our rooms. I didn't even see what I was putting on as I threw it over my head or buttoning it at my waist. I tossed my book bag over one of my shoulders as I ran out of my room, pulling my hair into a sloppy bun all the while. I slammed through the portrait hole and raced blindly down the corridors. Finally, I reached Transfiguration. I opened the door quickly and took a seat near the back, not even bothering to try to get one with Remus and the others. Professor McGonagall looked at me strangely.

"I am terribly sorry I am late, Professor," I explained, trying to catch my breath, "I was in the common room and lost track of time…please believe me when I express how sorry I am and this will never, ever happen again."

Professor McGonagall actually smiled, "I believe you, Ms. Willow, and I accept your apology, though I believe you are quite mistaken. You see, you are in fact two periods early…"

My tired, expressionless face immediately expressed one of shock as I absorbed what she had told me. For the first time in her life, it seemed, Professor McGonagall burst into laughter; her laugh was hoarse and sharp. I looked around me. There were second year Hufflepuffs and Slytherins sitting all around me and one particularly mean Slytherin boy was sitting beside me, looking as though I was the dumbest person on earth. Of course, that is exactly how I felt at the time.

"I-I'm sorry for in-interrupting your class," I stuttered incoherently as I left the room of second years.

Once outside, I threw myself against the wall. 

_What in the world was I thinking_, I asked myself as I gathered my thoughts, _Just calm down, Ani._

I finally made it to the right class, Charms.

"Where have you been," Remus hissed to me as I slid into my chair, unnoticed by Professor Flitwick. 

"Don't ask."

By lunchtime, as I predicted, it was snowing. Lily, James, Sirius, Remus, Bill, Crystal and I bundled up and went outside to enjoy the first snow of the season.

"Awl, and its on your birthday, too," I commented to Remus as I cuddled up closer to him for warmth.

"Yeah," he replied, "I wonder of the lake is going to freeze over again this year."

"That would be wicked," James exclaimed, "Seeing Snape fall through the ice last year was a priceless moment."

"He fell through the ice," Bill asked with excitement.

"Yes," Lily replied harshly, "and nearly drowned."

"Oh, come on Lily! It was only a bit of fun," Sirius said.

Lily shook her head, "Really guys! I wish you would leave that poor boy alone. You have no idea what he has to go through on top of your teasing and nagging."

"And you do," James asked, eying her with surprise.

She didn't answer, and we forgot about it once Crystal pulled out the tarot cards I got her.

We took turns answering Everyone's questions, except for Remus, who preferred to look out at the lake and watch the monster swim around. Crystal was answering Sirius' question ("Is Regulus gay?") when I decided to sit with Remus.

"The snow is beautiful, isn't it," he asked as I sat beside him, "All of the white, flawless flakes, falling gently to meet the ground below, no two being the same. They have no weight and no real meaning or purpose but to pile up and allow for some childlike fun."

"Why are you so sad, Remus," I questioned softly as I lay my head on his shoulder.

"I am not sad," he replied, "Why do you think I am sad?"

"Be cause you are voluntarily expressing sappiness towards snowflakes."

Remus laughed, "Don't mind that…it's just ranting."

"Since when do you rant?"

"Since now, I think."

I grinned, "Seriously, Remus. Do you know something that I don't know, like, this is my last day on earth?"

Remus looked down at me and replied, "If I said it was, would you have sex with me?"

"Sweetie, it might be your birthday, but that won't be your present from me."

He laughed as Bill walked over.

"Ani, I am really cold…"

I smiled and pulled him into my lap. I held him close to me and helped warm him up. Remus looked at the two of us and smiled. He wrapped one of his arms around me, pulling us closer to him and I ran my fingers through Bill's red hair, brushing a snowflake out of it here and there. It was the greatest I had felt in a long time.

"Ani, Ani, wake up! Guess what today is," I heard Lily's voice yell as she pulled back the curtains on my four-poster bed.

"December 2, 1976," I replied with my eyes still closed.

"That, and a surprise snow day and Hogsmeade trip, declared by Headmaster Dumbledore just minutes ago."

I sat up in bed, "But it is Thursday ---"

"I know," Lily exclaimed, "Dumbledore has decided that since we weren't going to get a Hogsmeade weekend this month otherwise, he gave the entire school the day off."

"Awesome! Now I wont have to kill all of the holiday shoppers at Diagon Alley when I go home!"

"Hurry and get dressed! We are going to be leaving soon! Oh, and don't forget to put the roses that Remus left for you in water!"

I got ready in record time and read the poem that Remus left for me as I admired the roses.

_Roses are red, violets are blue, day one was sweet, but not as sweet as day two. ~Moony_

"Not as sweet as day two, eh," I asked myself with a smirk and put the note in my pocket.

"About time," Sirius exclaimed as I emerged from the girls' dorms.

I went down to meet my friends, who were securely bundled up in their heavy cloaks and I looked down at Bill.

"I know, I know," he replied, "Don't worry, Ani. I am going to hang out with Crystal today."

I nodded, gave him a hug and followed my friends towards Hogsmeade.

The two feet of snow on the ground was difficult to trek through, and it took longer than usual to get to Hogsmeade. However, once in the village, it was a relief to know that the stone pebble roads were cleared of snow.

The WANTED signs for Voldemort and his followers were more abundant than before, though, the ones in the store windows were brightened up a bit by Christmas decorations. The entire village was decked out with holiday cheer and, despite the reminder of the terror of the world in every shop window, people were full of happiness. 

"Its so pretty this time of year," I commented, "Which reminds me – I need to go buy presents so, if you will excuse me…"

"Yeah, I am going to go off by myself, too," Remus said, waving good-bye to everyone.

"Oh, okay," James exclaimed sarcastically, "Why don't we all just split up?"

"Good idea, babe," Lily replied, kissing James on the cheek, "Why don't we meet in the Three Broomsticks at 12:30?"

"Sounds like a plan to me," Sirius said.

"Can't you tell that I was sarcastic," James asked as everyone left in different directions, "Come on you guys!"

I walked down a street of the village, looking around and taking everything in from the glittering, white snow, sparkling n the rooftops and lining the bottoms and windowsills of the shops to the lights hanging from the roofs and the doors. I watched as small children walked beside their mothers as she drug them around while she shopped…and then I found myself putting me in her place, dragging around little dark haired, blue-green and gray eyed children while I shopped. I saw myself fixing Christmas dinner as I listened to my children and husband playing in the next room and ---

"Excuse me, ma'am," the shopkeeper said as I looked up, "May I help you?"

I looked down at the shiny object in my hand, "Yes, I would like to purchase this."

He led me to the counter and I paid for it. I shopped for another couple of hours before I made my way to the Three Broomsticks.

"Hey," I greeted all of my friends, "Do you all want your usual?"

"What are you talking about, Thumper," Sirius asked.

"It is my turn to get lunch," I replied.

"No, no, no," James said, "Sit down, birthday girl. I'll get the lunches."

"But ---"

"Sit."

I reluctantly sat down and listened to the conversation Remus and Lily were having.

"Tell me, Remus," Lily exclaimed.

"Be quiet about it, please," he begged as he saw me sit down.

"What are you two talking about," I said brightly.

"Nothing…absolutely nothing," Remus replied, and changed the subject abruptly, "How did your shopping go?"

"Very well," I informed him, "I got all of the presents I needed."

"Is there any chance that I may take a slight peek ---"

"Absolutely none, Remus J. Lupin!"

Remus sat back in aguish as James arrived with the lunches.

"There is just one more thing," he told us as we dug into our food.

He reached under the table and put a box in the middle of it. Carefully, he opened the lid and revealed what was inside. It was a chocolate cake with a picture of a rabbit and a werewolf drawn on it in white frosting. Under the pictures, it said:

_Happy 16th, Thumper and Moony!_

_Always up to no good, The Marauders_

"I had it done at the bakery," James told us as Remus and I smiled down upon it, "That isn't a real werewolf, Moony, but I made the baker make it look close enough."

"Don't worry about it bro," Remus told him, patting him on the back, "Thanks."

"Yeah, James, this is wonderful," I said, giving him a hug, "Thank you."

"Dont mention it. Just enjoy it, and that will be quite enough thanks for me."

The five of us went back to the castle, stuffed and very exhausted from partying. We saw Bill and Crystal sitting at a bench in front of the lake and walked over to them.

"I hope we aren't interrupting anything," Sirius said, sitting beside Crystal.

"We come bearing gifts of cake," I told them, smiling and handing them the cake that the rest of us saved for them.

"Thanks," Bill said, immediately digging in.

"No, not at all," Crystal replied, "We were just watching Snivellus over there, wondering if he would be stupid enough to try to cross the lake like you told us he did last year."

"Yeah, him and that Pettigrew," Bill added with a mouthful of chocolate.

"Its frozen over again," Lilt asked, looking out at the lake.

"About two feet thick," Bill told her.

"You can't fall through ice two feet thick," I laughed, "Snivellus tried to cross when it was only five inches thick."

"The dumb ass," Sirius said under his breath as he got up and walked onto the lake, "See? Its solid as rock!"

Bill, Remus, James, Lily and I walked out onto the ice after Sirius. Crystal refused to go on – she didn't trust it.

"Lets play ice – whoop," Lily yelled as she fell, "---tag!"

"You fell, so you're it," Bill told her.

"Since you declared that, Stryker, you are going to be my successor!"

Lily jumped up and raced after Bill who was caught shortly after and then he tagged Sirius. We yelled insults to the person it, to egg them on. Remus was it a bit later.

"Come on, Moooooooooooooony," I yelled at him, "You can't get me cause you're my bitch!"

He smiled at me and began sliding towards me. He fell.

"Dumb shit," I called to him, "You can't catch me! You're too fuckin' slow!"

Remus got up and came after me, "Bugger yourself, Humper!"

I slid backwards, keeping my eye on him.

"You can't keep avoiding me, Ani. I am going to – ANISTASIA!"

Right as he said my name, I heard the splintering crack of the ice beneath me and felt my entire body give way. The cold began at my feet and raced up my body as it was emerged in the freezing water. The cold was pressing in on my chest and it grew harder for me to hold my breath as I sunk lower and lower into the depths of the lake.

I looked up as I heard a splash from above and Remus was swimming towards me. Once he reached me, he ripped off my scarf, cloak and robes, put his arm around my body and began bringing me to the surface.

Unable to hold my breath any longer, I let go of my breath of air and violently breathed in the ice all around me.

The world went totally black.


	12. Chapter Eleven

The Truth About Remus

Chapter Eleven (AN: actually, this is so short that it could be considered Chapter Ten and a Half, but to save us all from confusion, it is Chapter Eleven.)

_Remus, _

_We heard about Anistasia's accident and we are so very sorry. Joseph and Katrina ran over to our house last night, all shaken up. We were up with them all night, but, sadly, they are still in terrible sock. Now dear, even though you may be tempted to, don't do anything rash. Time will heal the wounds and soon, everything will be back to normal. Please trust us._

_I know this may be much more than you can take right now, especially on your birthday and with everything that happened yesterday, but you will have to remain at Hogwarts for the holidays. There is going to be a full moon the evening that you are supposed to leave for the holidays, and we don't want anything to happen to you or anybody else on your way home._

_Always remember that we are your parents and we love you dearly. We know that you will get angry at us saying this, especially since it is not exactly what you want to be hearing right now and you probably are wondering why we are saying this, but happy birthday, son, even if it is not happy at all._

_Love,_

_Mum & Dad_

_P.S. Write back and tell us how you are doing._

"They speak of me as though I died," I told Remus laughing as I folded up the note.

"Its no laughing matter," he said, scolding me, "For Gods sakes, Ani. You were unconscious for two days! Your temperature was far below the normal body temperature for a dangerously long time and no one knew if you would make it. You are lucky just to have pneumonia. We were all worried about you!"

"Its no big deal."

"Yes it is a big deal," Remus yelled, "To me, it was a big deal! You don't know what it is like, on your knees, holding your best friend in your arms, not knowing whether she could hear your cries and pleads or feel your pain ---"

He suddenly stopped talking and I took a deep breath.

"But I do, Remus. I remember that night all too well."

"If you are talking about that night when we were six, that doesn't count. We were too young to know pain and love."

"No, we weren't. Maybe, you were, but I wasn't. That night haunts me every day."

"If you think it haunts you, what do you think I have to go through?"

I stood and confronted him, "You know, you didn't have to let that damned thing bite you. It wanted me. It was coming after me. I should have been bitten, not you. I should have been the one that had to have this burden on me and you could have forgotten about me. We both would have lead better lives."

"Oh, so now you are saying that you are only my friend because of your guilt?"

"No, I am not saying that ---"

"Yes, you are," Remus yelled, "You just did! Good Gods, Ani, why didn't you tell me this before instead of leading me on for the past ten years?"

I couldn't reply before the door of the Hospital Wing burst open and the Marauders, Crystal and Lily rushed in.

"Excuse me," Remus said under his breath as he passed the incomers and left the room.

No one paid much attention to him, including me. 

"Dumbledore just told us," Bill exclaimed, hugging me tightly.

"Mademoiselle Willow," Sirius said, bowing and kissing my hand.

"Ditto," James laughed, bowing and kissing my other hand.

"Ani," Lily and Crystal exclaimed, embracing me.

"Hey, ya'll," I said, and then held my hand up to my mouth, "Achoo!"

"Oooh, yeah, we heard about your pneumonia, too," James said and helped me to the bed.

Bill sat on the end of my bed, at my feet, while the others took seats around me.

"Thumper, what was it like being unconscious," he asked enthusiastically.

I smiled and thought for a moment, "Well, Stryker, time flew by very quickly."

"Hey, Ani, the Quidditch Tournament schedules are up," James told me, handing me a piece of parchment that he had pulled from his pocket, "Take a look."

I unfolded the parchment and read:

_Sunday, December 13: Match One @ 9 AM_

_Slytherin vs. Ravenclaw_

_Monday, December 14: Match Two @ 9 AM_

_Winner of M1 vs. Gryffindor_

_Tuesday, December 15: Match Three @ 9 AM_

_Loser of M1 vs. Hufflepuff_

_Wednesday, December 16: Match 4 @ 9 AM_

_Winner of M2 vs. Loser of M3_

_Thursday, December 17: Match 5 @ 9 AM_

_Winner of M3 vs. Loser of M2_

_Friday, December 18: Championship Match @ 11 AM_

_Winner of M4 vs. Winner of M5_

_An hour after the championship match, the school will assemble in the Great Hall for the presenting of the Quidditch Cup. I ask that all Quidditch team members wear their Quidditch uniforms._

_After the ceremony, the Yule Ball will take place. All years are invites to attend and you may wear what you please._

_~Madam Hooch and Headmaster Dumbledore~_

"I can't wait," I exclaimed excitedly after I was done reading. 

"Yeah, well, I apologize for bursting your happy bubble, but," Lily began and I looked up at her, "we have mid-term exams all next week."

"Mid-terms," I asked and all of my sixth year friends nodded, "We have never had those before."

"They are so the Professors know where to start after the holidays when we are training for our careers," James told me.

"Right…"

I totally forgot about the O.W.L's last year and the career training that is supposed to begin this year. I lie back on my bed and closed my eyes. I was in for some hard work.


	13. Chapter Twelve

The Truth About Remus 

Chapter Twelve

"Prongs, how are you feeling," Sirius asked, patting him on the back.

"I think…I'm going…to be sick…"

I took one look at my oatmeal and put my spoon down.

"James, look. You are a Quidditch pro," Lily exclaimed, bursting with confidence, "You have absolutely nothing in the world to worry about."

James groaned and laid his head on the table. It was breakfast time, the morning of the second match of the tournament. The sun was shining, the snow was thick and white and there was a gentle breeze. The Quidditch conditions were ideal for this time of year. 

"Prongs, stop being such a baby and eat something," Remus exclaimed, pulling his head off of the table by the hair. 

Reluctantly, James picked up his eating utensil and poked a croissant with it.

Lily cleared her throat politely and spoke, "So, how did everyone like their –"

"NO," Sirius, James, Remus and I yelled.

Lily was about to say the "E" word and we have all had about enough of it. Last week was extensively exhausting. All of the ex – erm, you-know-what's, included material from our first year that nearly none of us remembered. The sixth years lived on two hours of sleep a night last week, the Quidditch players on less. On Saturday, the school was deserted of sixth years; all of them were sleeping and recuperating for Sunday, the day of the first match of the tournament.

The game was full of excitement and fascinating plays (well, I have to be able to see that kind of stuff – I am the Gryffindor Quidditch Team Play Strategizer). Anyways, Slytherin won the match yesterday and so we have to play them today.

"Prongs, call the team together and get them to the pitch," I said, "I need to discuss some of Slytherin's plays."

"Say no more, Thumper," he replied and for up to gather the team.

I stood up to leave and Sirius and Lily handed me various foods on the table.

"I know, I know," I told them as they handed me fruits, breads and oatmeal.

"Just make him eat, Ani," Lily pleaded.

"What else is this Playboy Bunny good for," I asked with a wink.

"Sex," Sirius replied.

I scowled at him and left the Great Hall towards the pitch as Remus totally ignored me. It was time to go through the pre-game tradition again: stuffing nutritious foods down the team's throats and organizing plays.

"Gentlemen," I said loudly as the Quidditch team sat before me, stuffing their faces, "I closely observed the match yesterday, especially several of the Slytherins' plays. Please pay careful attention."

I pulled my Omnioculars from my pocket, placed them on a stool and, with a simple spell, light came from the lenses and emitted images onto a screen like a projector. 

"As usual, I have given all of these plays code names and have put them together in a small book – only twenty new plays have been added: seven for Chaser, five for Beater, six for Keeper and two for Seeker. Please take a look."

I handed out the books and watched the mini-movie I put together on the plays from both teams in yesterday's game. In the movie, I talked about all of the plays, how to identify them and how they could be countered. Afterwards, I stood before the team.

"Any questions," I asked.

None of them had any and James released them for warm-up.

"Thanks, Thumper," he said in my ear and gave my ass a solid hit.

"Ow," I exclaimed and jumped, "James Potter, you are going to pay for that one!" 

I left the locker room to join my Gryffindor pals in the stands. 

"They look healthier than usual, Thumper. You certainly did your job," Sirius informed me. 

"Yeah, well, threatening to castrate them with a spork is one thing. Actually conjuring the spork is quite another." 

I saw Bill take a step away from me as I sat down between Sirius and Lily. Remus and I still weren't speaking to each other. Every time he tried to apologize to me, it came out all wrong and we ended up arguing again. Through my thoughts, I missed the announcing of the teams and the sound of Madam Hooch's shrill whistle as the Quaffle was thrown into the air. The next thing I knew, Sirius was jabbing me.

"Can you believe this," he asked, "We are working so hard today! We are intercepting play after play! Look at the confused look on those Slytherins' faces! They don't know what is hitting them!"

I nodded and smiled slightly as I focused my attention on the game.

"Lea of Gryffindor gains possession of the Quaffle, passes it to Potter, Potter to Dopson, Dopson back to Potter, P to D, D to L and L to goal…SCORE!"

The Gryffindor fans were on their feet, screaming their voices out.

"The Gryffindors are going wild! Watch out you guys, or you wont be able to perform any spells," called Marie Rider, the announcer, "and Slytherin gets the Quaffle…its Flint to Bradley who drops it to Fern up to Flint back to Fern, Fern tosses it – RIGHT INTO JAMES POTTER'S HANDS…"

Again, the Gryffindor stands burst into deafening cheers. A moment later, the cheering died down and the commentary could be heard again. 

"…to P to L to D, L, P, L P, D, L, D, L, P – OW!"

The Gryffindors booed as Chaser Jonathan Dopson, a fourth year, was hit by a Bludger and knocked off of his broom.

"Obviously Gryffindor didn't appreciate Hermia Raintree's Beater greeting, but the game must go on, and indeed it does as Fern gains possession of the Quaffle…" 

My Omnioculars were catching everything as I spaced out, yet again. My thoughts drifted here and there until they finally settled on one image. 

I was lying on a bed in a hospital room in St. Mungo's. The doctor beside me was rubbing a white wand over my lower abdomen – she was conducting an ultrasound. I noticed that my stomach was slightly bulgy. I looked up at the doctor. She was smiling. From the ultrasound machine, I could hear a 'whoosh, whoosh' sound. I had heard it before.

"Anistasia, your baby is doing just fine," she told me, "Do you hear the heartbeat? It's very healthy for a three-month-old embryo. Congratulations, you have survived your first trimester."

I smiled. My thoughts then flashed to a different image. I walked into the door of a white, two-story house. I looked at the mail on the kitchen table – the address was Number 29 Hogsmeade Road.

"Ani," I heard someone call from another room, "is that you?"

"Yes, sweetie, I am in the kitchen!"

"Ani?"

I blinked out of my thoughts and I was back on the Quidditch field. My hand had unconsciously settled upon my lower abdomen. There was no bulge. I looked up at who had spoken to me. 

"Where have you been for the last thirty minutes," Sirius asked.

I was tempted to tell him, but I didn't. I just looked around at the crowd. The Slytherins were in an uproar as the Slytherin Seeker was being carried on his teammates' shoulders, the Golden Snitch enclosed in his hand. 

"What happened," I asked him.

"We lost. Come on, Prongs will need to be held back from the taunting Slytherins. He is sometimes harder to restrain than Moony."

I sighed and followed him to the locker room. We could hear lockers slamming and being hit and James screaming at the team. The swears that could be heard were so bad that I ran into the locker room before a professor could hear them. 

"Silencio," I yelled and James immediately went silent.

He looked at me as though he wanted to ring my neck, but I gained on him before he could gain on me.

"Prongs," I said under my breath, "There is no need to yell at your team. They did extremely well today – I have the whole thing on my Omnioculars. Slytherin got lucky today – just lucky."

James began moving his mouth, obviously speaking, but no sound came out. Realizing this, he pointed to his mouth, ordering me to allow him to speak.

"Don't start yelling at your team," I told him and reversed the spell.

"Well, our bad luck could cost us the Cup."

I sighed and looked at Sirius. He shrugged. I looked to Lily and she walked forward to James.

"James, sweetie," she said in a low voice, "don't be so hard on your team, please?"

He scowled angrily at Lily and addressed the Quidditch Team, sitting on the benches with their heads bowed, "Team practice tomorrow immediately after Match Three. Be ready to work and work hard. Ani, I will need you there, too."

I nodded and James dismissed his team.


	14. Chapter Thirteen

The Truth About Remus

Chapter Thirteen

I was sitting in the back of the locker room tuning up my video while I listened to James talk to his team.

"This is it, men," he exclaimed, walking his usual path between the locker room benches, "This is the final game of the tournament, and it's against Slytherin. Even through our disappointing defeat against them in our first game of the tournament, you all showed me that you wouldn't allow that to bring you down. You have worked hard during our practices and have proven to me that you are all dedicated to this team. Pure dedication. Right now, I just want to thank all of you for loving this team and this sport so deeply and whatever happens out there, you are still the greatest set of players I could be the captain of. Now, here's our Playboy Bunny with the Slytherin Scoop."

I smiled and emerged from the back of the room, "Hey, guys. You are going to kill me for this, but Slytherin obviously cracked down hard on creating new plays and spat out thirty-two new ones in their game against Hufflepuff. Let us take a look."

I passed out the playbooks and we watched the video, the guys following along closely in their books. After the movie, the guys thanked me and left for warm-up. I looked at James as I stood up and smiled. 

"I have done all I can, Prongs. I just hope that it is enough," I told him.

He hugged and kissed my on the cheek, "You have done more than enough, Thumper. Just enjoy the game."

"Scare the hell out of that Keeper for me."

James winked at me and walked out of the room to join his team. After a while, I joined Lily, Sirius and Remus (with whom I was still not talking to) in the stands.

"How are they feeling? Did they eat? Are they awake? Sharp? On the ball? Do you ---"

I closed my eyes as I listened to Lily's string of endless questions, and finally replied, "Have you been watching the warm-ups? They are completely fine! You are more nervous than poor Prongs!"

Lily quieted down and I pulled out my Omnioculars just in time to catch the release of the Quaffle to begin the Hogwarts' Quidditch Cup Game.

"Potter gains control of the Quaffle immediately, passes it to Lea in a spectacular behind-the-back move. Lea catches it with no trouble, fakes a pass back to Potter and throws it to Dopson. The Slytherins are completely confused as Dopson takes it up the pitch, passes it to Potter and – YES! POTTER SCORES! It is ten to nothing, Gryffindor favor!"

The Gryffindor crowd went wild and the team made a victory lap. In no time, the game was back on, this time with Slytherin in possession of the Quaffle.

"Keeper Hahn throws it to Fern, who takes it towards the Gryffindor goals, does an airplane move to dodge a Bludger hit by Bennington on the red and gold side, passes it to Flint who immediately passes it to Bradley – quick reflexes on that boy! Bradley takes it up, passes it to Flint who takes a shot – and is blocked by Shinoda!"

The Slytherin side booed loudly as Dopson took the Quaffle. I looked at the Slytherin Beaters – Raintree in particular. She looked fired up. I saw her nod at her other Beater, Israfael Lucaine and Lucaine flew off. As he passed the Seeker, he tapped him on the shoulder. I grew suspicious. It had to be a secret code to a huge play – I only prayed that this one was one of the old ones. 

It wasn't, to my despair. This play involved the whole team, zigzagging through and around the Gryffindor players, confusing them and redirecting their attention from the game. It was no time before Slytherin intercepted the Quaffle, scored and managed to get a Bludger to hit our Seeker. He wasn't badly hurt, but our House spirit was taken down a notch. By the Slytherins' third successful goal, Sirius leaned over to me.

"What in the hell is happening out there," he asked me.

"I couldn't tell you," I replied dully, "They are executing new plays in a manner that I have never witnessed before."

I sat there, helpless, as Slytherin scored their fourth and fifth goals of the game. James was trying his hardest to keep the Quaffle in his hands, hoping to make a goal, but the Slytherin Chasers, usually Flint, were too quick for him. 

"We can't just let this keep up," Lily exclaimed, shaking me, "We have to tell James what is going on! We have to give him an update or something! We need to do _something_!" 

"I – cant – do – anything – stop – shaking – **ME**," I told her, and she let go, "I gave him and the team all of the information I had. They know just as well as I do that once the game had started, no one can help them."

For the next thirty minutes, the Slytherins scored three times and Gryffindor scored twice.

"This is getting bad, Thump," Sirius hissed, "If the Slytherin Seeker catches the Snitch again ---"

"He won't," I assured him, "Prongs has been working our Seeker on an enchanted Snitch. It flies faster and works more complicated maneuvers than this one being used in the game."

"But that won't matter of the Beaters keep circling David like that! He can't see a thing, much less a Snitch!"

I rested my chin in my hand and sighed, "Do you have a quill and parchment?"

"I think I might," Lily said, checking her robe pockets; she found some, and handed it to me, "What are you going to do?"

"Work on a counter play for Slytherin," I informed the both of them.

"Do you think that James can explain it to the team in time," Lily asked, as I began scribbling, "You know just as well as I do that time-outs aren't allowed. The game doesn't stop unless a Seeker catches the Snitch."

"She knows that, Lily," Sirius grumbled, "Let her work. There is nothing else we can do but that."

I began drawing out play after play and trying to work a counter play as Marie's commentary drowned on in the background.

"--- Again, Slytherin has the Quaffle…and look at that…another goal," she was saying, sarcastically, "That brings the score to Gryffindor, fifty and Slytherin, ninety. Slytherin is putting on quite a show out there – those sleazing ---"

After fifteen minutes, I had run out of room on the parchment and was out of ideas. I crumpled up the sheet violently and threw it onto the field.

"Dammit," I exclaimed, "I can't believe this! Nothing! What a time to have strategy block!"

I laid my head on Sirius' shoulder and Lily spoke up.

"Does the team ever use Slytherin's plays while working against them," she asked.

"No, of course not," I exclaimed, outraged, "What kind of dumb ass do you take me for? I tell the team never to use the plays that their opponent created and practiced to thoroughly. I told them that they might as well be digging their own grave!"

"Maybe that's the problem," Sirius informed me, "That is exactly what Slytherin is expecting. They figured that no one would use their plays against them, so they never though of finding a way to counter the attack. I mean, who really expects to see another team use a play they created against them?"

"Oh my Gods, Padfoot, I think you're right," I exclaimed, "We have to get Prongs over here so I can tell him!"

After kissing Sirius hard on the cheek, the three of us worked on getting James' attention and getting him to fly over. Remus was either in his own world, or didn't want to help me in any way. After a bit of waving and screaming, James got the hint and flew over.

"Make it quick – they're killing us out there," James exclaimed quickly.

"Hello Mr. Obvious," Sirius said sarcastically.

I ignored him and said, "If you want it quick, then just do what I say and don't ask any questions. Use Slytherins' plays against them. The team should know the plays. Just trust me, Prongs – it was Padfoot's idea, anyway."  

James sighed, nodded and flew back onto the Pitch. He called the codename of one of the Slytherin plays and was immediately shot odd looks. Despite this, they began running the play and I sat on the edge of my seat, awaiting the outcome. 

"Dopson with the Quaffle…he swoops down to avoid a Slytherin Beater as Potter crosses behind him, ready for a pass, Dopson faces Potter…but Fern flies in front of Dopson for a hand off. No one is near Fern as he takes it up the field…shoots…and ---"

The Gryffindor stands erupted into cheering as the Quaffle soared effortlessly into the far left goal. The look on the Slytherins' faces was one of total bewilderment. They knew that we were using their plays against them, but they didn't know how to handle it. James gave me a thumb's up as the game continued.

"That is the fifth goal this game for the Gryffindor team captain an Chaser, James Potter," Marie Rider announced a little while later, "and that brings the score to eighty to one-hundred twenty, Slytherin's favor."

Everyone was watching how wonderfully Gryffindor was taking Slytherin's plays and shoving them right up their asses that no one noticed when the two Seekers began chasing each other around the pitch. David, the Gryffindor Seeker, leaned sharply right to hit the Slytherin Seeker and knocked him off course; however, he was back on track in no time. The pair of them passed up, and I saw that the Slytherin Seeker had the Snitch at the very tip of his fingers. 

"Come on," I hissed, "Get it Rowling…"

In a split second, our Seeker, David Rowling, jumped off the nose of his broom, diving for the Snitch and fell fifty-five feet to the ground. There was a sickening crunch as he hit and the entire stadium went silent. The game halted right where it was, the cheering ceased…it was like someone pressed a pause button on a VCR. 

James was the first person at David's side. In my Omnioculars, I watched him take the Snitch out of David's limp hand and cradled his head in his lap. 

"Gryffindor Seeker David Rowling caught the Snitch, capturing the win," Marie said to the silent crowd, though her voice was barely louder than a whisper.

As Madam Pomfrey made her way onto the field, a stretcher levitating beside her, no one moved or spoke. Silently, she took David from James and put him on the stretcher. Lilt, Sirius, Remus and I left the stands and went to James.

"Is he okay," Lily asked him, embracing him in a hug.

"When I got here, his breathing was very shallow and I could see blood…though I don't know where it was coming from."

The crowd around up began to leave as Madam Hooch's voice announced to everyone that the Cup would be awarded in one hour.

I got ready for the ceremony and the ball with Lily. As she was changing, I again noticed the Dark Mark on her arm. 

"Does Prongs know you have that," I asked her.

"No," she told me, knowing exactly what I was talking about, "Only you do."

"Why, Lily? Why did you join his forces?"

"There are so many things to explain…but I want you to know that…my intentions are only noble," she said slowly, "I am fighting for a cause."

"Fighting with whom? With Voldemort? That is not a noble cause."

"I – I can't tell you everything right now…I will tell you when the time comes, I promise, but you have to trust me. Please. Let's just go to the ball, okay?"

I nodded and followed her out into the common room to meet with the guys. I noticed that Remus had a seventh year girl on his arm – Emilie Russell – and I felt my stomach do a jealous summersault. He had a date for the Yule Ball – and I didn't. I didn't want one. I wanted – I felt tears burn my eyes and I tried my hardest not to let them spill over. Sirius (who had only one date this time, a girl named Lauren) saw the sadness in my face when I saw Remus laugh at one of Emilie's jokes and he walked over to me. 

"Are you okay," he asked.

I nodded and he held out his arm to me. I threaded my own arm through it and he kissed my forehead. Our group went down to the Great Hall and found a table with Bill and Crystal.

"Boy, you two look nice," I managed to croak with a smile, "Are you two an item?"

Crystal laughed and Bill took her hand that was sitting on the table and gave it a loving squeeze.

"Yes," he replied, "and thanks."

Dumbledore tapped the side of his glass and the hall grew silent. Madam Hooch was standing in front of the head table.

"I know that you are all anxious for the ball and feast to begin, so, without further a due, I present to you the champions of the 1976 Hogwarts Quidditch season – Gryffindor!"

Everyone in the hall – even the Slytherins – gave a standing ovation as the team, led in by no other than David Rowling, entered the Great Hall.

"He's okay," Lily exclaimed. 

"Congratulations, team Gryffindor," Madam Hooch announced with a smile, "Mr. Potter, will you please come up to accept the award?"

"No," James said immediately, "but we can."

The entire team stepped forward and took hold of the Cup at the same time. 

"Anistasia," James called, "come up here. You deserve this just as much as we do."

I laughed as Sirius pushed me forward. Once I was up there, the team embraced me as the Great Hall cheered. The commotion died down and the Yule Ball began. David walked up to me.

"May I have the first dance with the Playboy Bunny," he asked with a grin.

"Only if I may have this dance with the star Seeker," I replied.

He swept me onto the floor and into his arms as we danced. He was light on his feet and we were able to make easy conversation while we listened to the music. I was passed around between all of the team members until James finally cut in.

"I was expecting you sooner or later, Prongs," I told him.

He smiled and kissed my cheek, "You were genius today."

"It was Padfoot's idea."

"I know that's what you said earlier, but I thanked Paddy and he isn't taking any of the credit. So, thank you for being so incredible today and throughout the entire season."

"Don't mention it, James," I said, smiling, as the song ended, "It was fun."

He saw the sad look on my face and patted me on the back, "Hey, we are all getting together in the common room for a celebration at eleven," he told me as he escorted me to the table and took Lily for a dance.

I sat back down at the table with Bill and Crystal. They were arguing about something. 

"Oh, come on, Crystal…please…"

She shook his head, "I told you, Bill, I can't dance."

Bill's face fell and I smiled at Crystal, "I bet you can – you just don't want to admit it! Go out and try it. Have fun!"

She sighed and nodded, "Okay, I give in. Lets go, Bill."

His face lit up as he escorted her onto the dance floor. I sat there, tracing my finger around the edge of my glass of Butterbeer and looked up at the dancers every once in a while. I was looking up at them when I spotted Remus and Emilie. He had his arms around her and was looking into her eyes like she was the only girl on this earth. I couldn't stand it, so I picked up my drink and walked outside to take a walk around the lake. It was a mistake, because the moment I set eyes on it, I also saw what no one else saw – the castle, the unicorn and the dragon.

"AHHHHHHHHH," I yelled angrily at it and threw my mug into the water.

I heard a low, subtle laugh come from behind me. I turned and spotted Snape with a rare grin on his face.

"Terrible, isn't it," he asked in a mocking sort of way, "having to watch your life-long best friend dancing with that tramp…holding her, caressing her body and pulling it closer to his ---"

"What do you want, Snivellus," I asked in a low voice.

"Nothing more than what you want."

"And how do you, of all people, know what the hell I want."

"Because it is what everyone wants. To be adored, touched…to be loved…"

I closed my eyes and replied in barely a whisper, "Why did you come here? Why are you talking to me?"

"You want something I can get you."

I spat on the ground at his feet, "You have nothing that I would want."

"You don't want…revenge," he asked in a sly voice.

"As a matter of fact…no," I lied, "I don't want revenge. Remus can go kiss, hold and bugger anyone he wants. It is not my problem. Excuse me."

I began walking away, but as I passed him, Snape grabbed my arm and whispered in my ear.

"Look at me, Anistasia. There is no need to lie – you love Remus. You want nothing more than to be under him, all hot and bothered ---"

"No," I said and pulled my arm away from his grip, "Who are you to judge what I want? You don't know me, Severus. We are acquaintances. Enemies. I am a Marauder and you are a Slytherin. That line shall never be crossed – EVER."

I walked away as he stared after me. I kept walking over the grounds until it was nearly eleven, where I made my last appearance in the Great Hall. Sirius, Lauren, Bill and Crystal were still at the table, talking.

"Hey, where have you been," Bill asked as I approached, "You disappeared after Crystal and I went to dance."

"Oh, nowhere," I replied with a grin, "How did you like dancing, Crystal?"

"I suck at it, but it was fun, especially with Bill," she said.

"Hey, we are about to head to the common room for the celebration party," Lauren told me, "Wanna join us?"

"Sure, I would love to," I exclaimed and we headed off to the party.

The celebration was already in full swing when we had arrived. On our entry, Butterbeers were shoved into our hands. 

"Man, if I don't stop drinking these, I am going to do a House Elf and get pretty tipsy. Where's James and Lily," Bill asked immediately after looking around.

"Do you really have to ask, Stryker," Sirius asked.

"Huh?"

"Um, don't worry about Prongs," I said quickly as we found somewhere that was deserted to stand.

The group carried on in conversation as I looked around at the partygoers and sipped my butterbeer…until…as I reached to cover my mouth, I dropped my mug and turned away quickly. Tears began flowing from my eyes. I felt someone's arm wrap around my shoulders and the person began leading me somewhere. I could hardly breathe. I was led upstairs, away from the party and the noise. I was led into a room and the person leading me sat me on the bed.

"Ani," Sirius' voice said gently, "What happened? Why are you crying? Sweetie---"

I leaned against him and he embraced me.

"I – I saw Remus ki-kissing Emilie," I sobbed, "I cant beli-believe it. I know we a-are fighting, bu-but he asked som-someone else to the ball!"

Sirius rocked me in his arms, "I know. He has really sunk low this time, but it will be okay."

"We al-always go to th-the ball to-gether. He i-is my best fr-iend. No-now he is ki-ss-ing HER!"

I began wailing.

"Awl, shh, shh, its okay, Ani. Just calm down, baby, and tell me what is wrong. Just get it all out and you will feel much better."

"I didn't think that our friendship had ended," I told him, calming down a bit, "I should have mended our friendship. Now I have lost him and it – it really hurts. I have never felt this way…as though my heart has been ripped right out of my chest. I blew it with him. He spilled all of his feelings for me right out on the floor a couple months ago and all I could do was kick them across the room and keep mine inside. Its all over now…"

"You haven't lost him," Sirius assured me as I began crying in his shoulder, "I know you haven't. Remus is not the kind of guy to do that – you should know that by now."

"But what do I do now? I will look like a fool if I go down there and beg on my knees for forgiveness in front of everyone."

"You might, but you don't have to do that. I won't _let_ you do that," he told me and kissed me on the forehead, "Let me be the embarrassed one. Stay right here."

I sat on his bed crying the last of my tears as Sirius left. As I was drying my eyes, I heard the door quietly open and shut, but no sound came from the enterer. 

"Sirius," I asked quietly into the darkness.

"No."

The person stepped in front of me. The pale moonlight from the window flooded in and landed on Remus.

"Sirius just…told me…what happened," Remus explained as he sat on the bed, "Well, actually, he punched me, then explained, but I deserved it totally. I was afraid to come up here, and I wouldn't have, if Sirius didn't threaten to beat me into a pulp. I am so sorry for doing what I did. I feel as though I can't live with myself after he told me how much he just hurt you. That – in the common room…I can't tell you that it wasn't totally my fault. I was so angry with you and – my Gods, Anistasia, I am so sorry. I wouldn't blame you if you can't forgive me for what I have done to you. Even if you can, I want you to know that I wont forgive myself."

Before he could say anything else, I wrapped my arms around him. He embraced me and held me tightly. I had missed that.

"You are my very best friend," I cried, "How could I not forgive you?"

"Because of what I did! I didn't make amends with you, I asked someone else to the ball and then I kissed her right in front of you. I was a fucking pig!"

I looked up at him and shook my head, "I am just happy to have you back…I mean, you aren't in a relationship with her, are you?"

He grinned, "No."

"Then I forgive you."

Remus kissed my tear-stained cheeks and stood.

"Will you give this to my parents for me," he asked, handing me an envelope from his pocket.

"Why? You are going home, right?"

"Don't you remember the note? There is going to be a full moon tomorrow night. I can't go home."

I shook my head, "Yes you can. Don't you remember that when I am with you, you don't morph? I am going to be with you on the train, the last time I checked."

He smiled and stuffed the envelope back in his pocket, "I had better start packing then, hadn't I?"

"This will be a wonderful holiday surprise," I said as I began leaving.

"The surprises are only beginning."


	15. Chapter Fourteen

The Truth About Remus

Chapter Fourteen

I was awoken on Christmas morning by Remus ceremonially jumping on my bed in his mistletoe boxers and a white undershirt.

"Lookie, Thump, you are under the mistletoe," he told me as I opened my eyes.

"Yeah, well you can't kiss me unless you are under it, too."

"I can arrange that."

"No, that's alright, Moony."

Remus threw himself down beside me, "Do you mind if I get under the covers with you? Its is really cold running across the snow in only your underwear."

I nodded and laughed, "Remmie, you are a dumb ass."

"I know."

He settled under the covers and cuddled up near me. My queen-sized bed was warm from me sleeping in it all night and Remus immediately settled into the warmth.

"You are freezing," I exclaimed as his feet touched mine, "Didn't you think to wear socks?"

"Actually, yes, I did wear them, but they were so wet that I had to take them of at the door."

He wrapped one of his arms around my waist and pulled me closer to him. His gray eyes were looking into my green ones and I smiled.

"What is it," he asked softly.

"Happy Christmas."

"Happy Christmas."

I grinned, leaned forward and gave him a small kiss on the lips, "That was for when I was under your mistletoe."

"Ani, are you up yet," I heard my mum call from the kitchen.

"Yes, mum," I called.

I smiled at Remus and got out of the bed, wearing my Tornado Quidditch Team pajamas. I walked over to my stereo that sat by the window and turned on the radio. The Sex Pistols, "God Save the Queen" was blasting from the speakers. I jumped around like a maniac while Remus watched. 

"How can you like this Muggle music," he asked me. 

"Its awesome," I exclaimed and turned to look at my CDs, "I have missed listening to it."

"Okay, tell me one song that you think I might like."

I pulled out a CD titled, "Dizzy up the Girl" by the Goo Goo Dolls and surfed to track eleven. A moment later, a smooth acoustic guitar was being played. 

_And I'd give up forever to touch you_

_'Cause I know that you feel me somehow_

_You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be_

_And I don't want to go home right now_

_And all I can taste is this moment_

_And all I can breathe is your life_

_And sooner or later it's over_

_I just don't want to miss you tonight_

"And I don't want the world to see me," I sang, "'cause I don't think that they'd understand. When everything's made to be broken, I just want you to know who I am."

Remus smiled as I pulled him out of the bed and began dancing with him.

"Alright, I like this song," he said while we danced, "but is there another song I might like?"

I went back to my stack of CDs and pulled out "Greatest Hits" by Texas. The sound of deep strings came from the speakers and I began dancing. 

_I'm so in love with you  
Whether it is right or it's wrong  
I'm too weak to be strong  
I'm so in love with you_

_Well you say you need something  
To help you when you're down, to take your fears away  
Yeh you say you'd do anything  
To keep your feet off the ground  
And help you on your way_

"You're all I need, Yeh you are all that I need. I'm so in love with you. I'm so in love with you. Whether it is right or it's wrong. I'm too weak to be strong…" 

"I'm so in love with you," Remus said, sweeping me into his arms, "Yes, I have heard this song before."

I smiled, "I know. I taught you the chords on the acoustic. Do you think you still remember?"

"I can try."

I smiled and he and I walked to the music room. I handed him the acoustic guitar and I picked up the electric and counted off.

"One, two, one two three four."

We played it and rocked on, me singing alone at times and sometimes he would join in. After the song was over, I kept playing, though, a different tune.

"I feel bad and beautiful, in all the strangest places. You feel good; you're sweetest. The weather's changing as I look at your face," I sang, "Falling, fall to the floor. Falling, you know we can. I haven't had a dream in such a long time, now. It's raining here and all the leaves are on the ground. I'm safe and warm outside its cold and grey. That's my guitar and I will play for you all day."

I stopped there, though, and laid the guitar across my legs. Remus raised his eyebrows.

"Why did you stop," he asked, "That was good. I thought you said you were going to play all day."

I grinned, "I will play later. Right now, I am starved."

He nodded in agreement and we ran downstairs and into the kitchen.

"Happy Christmas, mum," I said, embracing her and breathed in the smell of her traditional Christmas breakfast – gingerbread people shaped hot cakes, red tomato and green pepper omelets, sausage and hash browns.

"Good morning and happy Christmas to you, too, baby," she replied.

"Mrs. Willow, may I mention how very good it smells in here," Remus exclaimed.

"Thank you, Remus."

"Where's dad," I asked.

"Shoveling the path between our house and the Lupins' with Edgar," mum replied, "They should be here in about half an hour for breakfast. Are you two going to get dressed?"

"No." 

"As usual."

I smiled and Remus and I helped mum set the table for breakfast. Nearly half an hour later, dad and the Lupins came in.

"Oh, Katrina, it smells so good," Mr. Lupin said, walking into the dining room.

"Ed, you are nearly as charming as your son," mum replied with a chuckle.

"Happy Christmas godmother and godfather," I said, hugging them.

"Ani, you are growing more and more beautiful every time I see you, isn't she, honey," Mrs. Lupin exclaimed.

"Yes, she is," I heard Remus say in unison with his father under his breath. 

"Ed, Christina, would you like some coffee? Eggnog? Hot chocolate," my mum asked.

"Eggnog for me, please – extra rum, if you will," Ed said with a wink.

"Just some coffee please, sweetie," Christina replied.

When we were finally all settled down to breakfast, talking merrily to one another, I thought back to what happened in the last week. It was full of happiness from the moment Remus and I stepped off the train. Mr. and Mrs. Lupin weren't at the train station because they weren't expecting Remus home, and neither were my parents. Once we were home, the four of us went over to the Lupins' and explained our discovery to them. Ed and Christina were extremely happy and were even happier when they saw it right before their eyes. The first night, we all went outside and watched the full moon shine above us with no worries at all. 

Here we were, celebrating Christmas together like we always did, but embracing it even tighter and being more thankful for one another than ever before. While we ate, I noticed Remus shooting nervous glances at me that I could not ignore. Doing this the morning of a ball was one thing, but at the breakfast table on Christmas day?

It was tradition that the two children eat quickly and the adults take their sweet old time, sipping their drinks and talking so the kids would grow impatient and beg them to open presents. This year was no exception.

"Ah, Joe, I think that they are more impatient than ever," Ed said to my dad as we made our way to the den.

Remus and I sorted the presents in record time and passed them out. In no time, we were ripping open gifts, exclaiming in surprise and thanking the giver for their gift. I saw Remus watching me as I picked up his gift and unwrapped it. 

I took in a sharp breath as I unwrapped beautiful, sparkling glass roses. Tied around them with string, I noticed a small roll of parchment. I opened it and read:

_Twelve roses for the months of the year,_

_The blessed months that I spend with you._

_Twelve glass roses, fragile, but strong,_

_Like our friendship, they will never die._

_Twelve twinkling roses with their tiny little pedals,_

_Red like the love that we share._

_Twelve beautiful roses, _

_Though more beautiful is your smile._

_Twelve sparkling roses,_

_Reminding me of your green eyes._

_Twelve roses,_

_Symbolizing the perfect flower for the perfect woman._

_~R.J. Lupin_

"Ani, who gave you the roses," my mum asked. 

I looked up and smiled, "Thank you, Remus."

He nodded and he opened my present – a snow globe, which held an exact replica of Hogsmeade inside.

"Look," I showed him, "There is the Shack and right there – you see that white house? Remember when we saw that in our third year?"

He nodded and smiled, "How could I forget? There are so many memories that you, the Marauders and I have shared in this town."

"And surely many more."

After we finished opening presents, we ate cookies while the adults had adult talks that Remus and I listened to.

"Is everything holding up well at the ministry," godfather asked dad who works in the Department of Magical Law Enforcement as an Auror with my mum.

"As well as we all can expect," he replied, "He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named has let up on the attacks recently. I think he has a soft spot for the holidays."

The two of them let our deep laughs and mum opened her mouth to speak.

"Ed, how are the trials doing," she asked.

Godfather is the Junior Undersecretary to the Minister of Magic and has recently been busy with the trials of the several accused Death Eaters. 

"We have just completed the trial of Bellatrix and Rodolphus Lestrange. They had the Mark on their arms, bad alibis, so off they went to Azkaban."

"Good job on the bag," dad said, "Two more down, but countless more to go."

"We'll get 'em all," Ed assured them, "You Aurors are doing a bloody amazing job. Dear old Cornelius is too happy about your work."

"Thank you," mum replied.

Remus gave me a look of 'Get out of this happy circle or bust'. I nodded in agreement.

"Mum, may Ani and I go play in the snow," Remus asked.

 "Yes," godmother replied, "but wrap up nice and warm before you do."

"Same goes for you, Ani. I want you well bundled up. I don't need either of you to catch a cold before going back to school," my mum said. 

Remus and I met each other outside in the front lawn. The moment I walked out of my house, a snowball hit me.

"Hey," I exclaimed, wiping the snow off of my cloak, "This bitch is brand new!"

"Awl, little Ani is mad because a little snow got on her cloak," Remus taunted.

I scooped up some snow into my gloved hands and chased Remus into the back yard and into the woods. When I finally caught up with him, I tackled him and shoved the snow that I was holding into his face.

"Watch the hair! Watch the hair," he screamed. 

I laughed and got off of him, "You are such a baby! 'Watch the hair!' As if."

He and I called a truce and walked together along the countryside in silence. Every time I would say something, Remus would shush me until I was silent again.

"Close your eyes," he said suddenly.

"Why?"

"I want to show you something."

"If you shove snow in my face I will murder you," I warned. 

"I wouldn't do that. We agreed to a truce, remember?"

I sighed and closed my eyes. I allowed Remus to lead me. We walked for ten minutes until he suddenly came to a stop.

"May I open my eyes yet," I asked him a moment after we had stopped.

"Yes," he replied, his voice coming from below me.

I opened my eyes and looked around at the clearing. Everything was white and sparkled with angelic dew. Clear, ice-cold drops of water fell from ice sickles on the branches of the snow-covered trees. I looked down at Remus. He was on one knee in front of me, holding an open box to me, which exposed to me a diamond ring.

"I don't know how else to ask this," he said quietly, his voice wavering slightly, "but – will you marry me?"


	16. Chapter Fifteen

The Truth About Remus

Chapter Fifteen

It is December 25, the morning of Christmas, one of the best times of the year, and Remus and I have blindly wondered (well, I was blind, at least) into a beautiful, snowy clearing in the woods behind our houses at this random moment in time. My best friend had just asked me a question that will change both of our lives. 

"I don't know how else to ask this," he said quietly, his voice wavering slightly, "but – will you marry me?"

My jaw dropped as I looked into Remus' grey eyes. We must have been standing there for an eternity as I took all of this in. Remus wanted me to become – Anistasia Marie Lupin…Mrs. Remus J. Lupin…he wanted me to be all his and him to become all mine. 

"I – I ---"

I knew that I wanted to say. I knew what my heart wanted to say and I knew that my tongue was ready to say it. Remus raised his eyebrows at me. I had been silent for a long time before I spoke. 

"If I said 'yes', would that mean – forever?"

Remus nodded. 

"If I said 'yes', would that mean that I truly, madly and deeply loved you with all of my heart?"

"I would hope so," he replied, "because I am asking you this because I truly, madly and deeply love you with all of my heart."

"If I said 'yes', would that mean that I would have to take your last name?"

"If you want it."

"Then…yes."

"Yes you will take my last name?"

I smiled, "Remus, I will take all of you. I want to marry you."

"…Yes?"

Remus' eyes grew extremely large and he stood. Fumbling, he managed to take off my gloves, take the ring out of the box and place it on my left ring finger.

"Erm…Remus…that's the finger that the wedding band goes on."

"Right," he exclaimed and quickly switched hands.

He stood up straight and took my face in his hands. A happy tear ran down his cheek and a cloud of warm air passed between his parted lips. 

"I love you, Anistasia," he said quietly, "and I would tell it to the whole world if they didn't already know."

"I love you, too Remus, and I will tell it to the whole world," I backed away from him, threw my head back, and screamed, "I LOVE REMUS LUPIN!"

I spun in the clearing, repeating my words until I was hoarse and all the birds had flown from the trees. Remus caught me before I collapsed.

"I love Remus Lupin," I whispered to him with a smile on my face.

I took a deep breath as Remus pulled my face quickly to his. My lips tingled with the feeling of his warm, wet lips moving in unison with mine, our tongues finding each other and pleasuring it to the point of no return. As I ran my hand through his hair, I felt uplifted and renewed by his touch. My lips continued to lock hungrily with his until they were hungry no more. We pulled away reluctantly and I looked up at him from my place on the snowy earth.

"What now," he asked.

After a moment, I replied, "We must inform the 'rents."

He grinned and took my hand. We ran together, hand in hand, back to my house. As much as I had denied it in the past, I could deny it no more. I loved Remus. I had been in love with him since before I could remember, but I have been too afraid to admit it. I was scared of what it might mean if I did – even though I have finally admitted it, I am still scared out of my mind.

We barreled into the house, out of breath and ran into the kitchen where our parents were sitting and talking. The two of us were stumbling all over each other, trying to catch our breath. Our parents looked at us, alarmed.

"Anistasia? Remus? What is the matter? What is going on," mum asked.

"I – we – have something to – tell – you," Remus said, still gasping for air.

"What is it, son," godfather asked.

Remus and I looked at each other, smiled, and then said, "We are getting married!"

With those four words, chaos broke out n the room.

"To each other?"

"When did this happen?"

"Let me see the ring."

"Have you both thought this through?"

"Is Anistasia pregnant?"

"When is the ceremony?"

"QUIET!"

Then, there was silence. Remus and I were still holding hands, and all of our parents' attention was focused on us. 

"I think we all have questions for them," my dad began, "but we can ask them one at a time. Christina, would you like to start?"

She nodded, "Remus…darling…did you and Ani talk this through? This is a huge decision and we all have your best interests in mind when it comes to things like this."

"Mum, Ani and I know what we want. We have known each other all of our lives and we absolutely feel the same way about each other," Remus told her.

"You don't have to rush things," my mum spoke up, "Unless…I mean, Ani, are you…you know…"

I smiled, "No, mum, I am not pregnant. I am still a virgin, if you have to know."

"For the record, so am I," Remus added. 

"When did this engagement happen," godfather asked.

"A few minutes ago," I told him, "You are the first ones to know about this."

"Well, its not like we weren't expecting this at some time or another," dad said, "We have been talking about it for years…we just didn't expect it so soon!"

"When is the ceremony," mum asked.

Remus looked at me, "We haven't exactly discussed a date, godmother. I mean…we just became engaged."

"Oh, Remus, you will have to start calling me mum," Katrina said, "Come, sit down, both of you. Lets discuss this."

Two hours and three hot chocolates later, Remus and I had a date set (December 2), a place of marriage (Hogwarts) and most of the guest list. Ed and Joseph went to write a letter to Headmaster Dumbledore, mum and Christina cleaned up the kitchen and Remus and I went back up to the music room. I picked up my guitar and sat.

"So, how about I play for you?"

He laughed, "You told me you would."

I nodded and strummed a few random chords, just to warm up, and then played.

"So many songs in my mind. Maybe less cause I've drunk so much wine. There's light in your eyes but out the window it's gone dark outside," I sang, "Falling, fall to the floor. Falling, you know we can. Haven't had a dream in such a long time now. It's raining here and all the leaves are on the ground but I'm safe and warm outside its cold and grey. That's my guitar and I will play for you all day. It'll be alright if you stay tonight."

I played the last stanzas of the song, humming the lyrics and then immediately switched to another song.

"Could you whisper in my ear the things you want to feel? I'll give you anything to feel it comin'. Do you wake up on your own and wonder where you are? You live with all your faults," I sang, "I want to wake up where you are. I wont say anything at all. So why don't you slide? Yeah, we're gonna let it slide." 

_Don't you love the life you killed?_

_The priest is on the phone._

_Your father hit the wall_

_Your ma disowned you_

_Don't suppose I'll ever know_

_What it means to be a man_

_Something I can't change_

_I'll live around it_

_I wanna wake up where you are_

_I wont say anything at all_

_So why don't you slide?_

"And I'll do anything you ever dreamed could be complete. Little pieces of the nothing that fall," Remus and I sang together and he joined in with my bass, "Put your arms around me, What you feel is what you are and what you are is beautiful. Do you wanna get married or run away?"

The song ended too soon and Remus stood up and kissed me, "I would love to stay, but I want to talk with my dad a bit. I love you."

"I love you too, Remus. Bye."

I followed him downstairs and I went to the common room. My mum was sitting there on the couch and I joined her. I lay my head in her lap, looking at the blazing fireplace and let my mum run her fingers through my hair.

"I heard you and Remus playing upstairs," she told me, "You two sounded really great."

"Thanks, mum."

"So…who are going to be your bride's maids?"

I smiled as I thought, "Well, Lily Evans and Crystal Star…and Christina…but I would like you to be the bride's maid of honor."

I sat up and looked for the expression on mum's face. It was that of shock. Then, she embraced me. 

"Oh, Anistasia," she exclaimed, "I would be so deeply honored to be so!"

"Thank you, mum," I replied, "You have been such a huge influence on me…Remus and me both. You have always been there for me and I love you more than any daughter could love their mother. You have supported me through everything. I owe you so much…you are the greatest mother and friend in the world. I love you."

"I love you, too, Ani," mum replied and kissed me on the forehead, "Oh, I almost forgot! An owl came for you while you were out. Stay here while I go get the letter."

Mum left me, staring into the fire. I looked down at the gorgeous diamond ring on my right ring finger. Everything had happened so quickly. I tried to gather all of my emotions, but all that I felt was numb. I looked up as mum walked back in and handed me a roll of parchment. She sat down next to me as I unrolled it.

_Dear Thumper,_

_     Happy Christmas! I hope that you are having a nice one! When I got home, my mum asked me how school was doing and I told her all about you and the Marauders and how much fun you guys are and how you befriended me. That made her want to invite you over to stay with us from the 27th until we have to go back to Hogwarts on January 9th. She said that if you bring your trunk, we could just go to the station from the Burrow. I have sent letters to everybody. Please RSVP soon. If you are able to come, my dad and I will floo over to your house on the afternoon of the 27th._

_                                                                        With love,_

_                                                                        Your loyal Stryker_

                                                                        Bill Weasley 

I showed my mum the note and she read it through. 

"May I go, mum," I asked.

"We have so much to plan for the wedding, though," she whined, "I will go talk to your father, but I will allow you to go." She hugged me, took the note up to my dad and I lay back on the couch to play with my ring.


	17. Chapter Sixteen

The Truth About Remus 

Chapter Sixteen

Remus, our families and I were sitting in my living room, waiting for the arrival of Bill and his father. My ring was safely secured on a chain around my neck, tucked under my robes – Remus and I agreed that we didn't want to spill the beans before it was time.

The six of us jumped when we saw Bill stumble out of the fireplace, followed closely by his father.

"After this, I am never traveling by floo again," he groaned.

It was obvious that Bill had been through the ringer one too many times. My parents stood up to greet our guests.

"Good afternoon," dad said to Mr. Weasley, "I am Joseph Willow, and this is my wife Katrina Willow."

Mr. Weasley smiled and shook my dad's hand, "Arthur Weasley – it's a pleasure to meet you. Please, excuse my mess. That was my third time through floo."

"We understand perfectly," mum said, "I would like you to meet our neighbors, Edgar and Christina Lupin."

Again, a greeting was exchanged and then Arthur turned to Remus and I.

"Anistasia Willow and Remus Lupin, it is a pleasure to finally meet you both. Bill has told us – Molly and I, that is – how much he enjoys your friendship."

"Thank you, Mr. Weasley," I replied.

"Well," he said enthusiastically, "if you two are ready to go, just hop in and yell 'The Burrow'. Bill, if you will, go first and show them how it is done."

Bill nodded, took some floo powder from his pocket, tossed it into the fire and said nauseously, "The Burrow!"

He was gone in an instant. After kisses and hugs, Remus was off next. Mr. Weasley took my trunk, and after a few good byes, I threw powder into the fireplace and called, 'The Burrow!"

I felt the pleasant warmth of the green flames licking my body and watched as I spun around through the floo network. I saw fireplaces come and go as the hot wind and ash swirled around me. Finally, I was spit out onto the floor of a den.

"There, there," a motherly voice said as the occupant of the voice helped me up and dusted me off, "Quite a ride, wasn't it? Bill got awfully sick on that last trip – I told Arthur not to let him go ---"

Her talking was interrupted by Mr. Weasley himself stumbling out of the fireplace with my trunk.

"Did any of the kids get lost, Molly," he asked the woman dusting me off.

"No, all of them arrived just fine – that Lily was a bit shaken up, however, poor dear…"

I laughed, "Lily is Muggle born. She must have never traveled by floo before."

Mrs. Weasley looked up at me as though she had just noticed me, "Hello dear, I am Molly Weasley. You must be Anistasia, yes, Remus mentioned that you were on your way. Arthur, would you be so kind as to show Anistasia where she will be sleeping? Everyone is in Bill's room."

Mr. Weasley nodded, showed me the room that I would be sharing with Lily and Crystal, and then took me to Bill's room.

"Try to keep it down, guys," Mr. Weasley said before leaving, "Percy is still napping."

"Yes, dad," Bill said and smiled at me as I took a seat next to Remus.

I looked around and noticed that everyone was accounted for, plus one. A red head was sitting between Lily and Bill.

The boy must have noticed my confused expression because he said, "I am Charlie, Bill's brother."

I nodded and smiled, "Nice to meet you."

"Charlie is a year younger than I am, so he will be starting at Hogwarts next year," Bill informed me, "Percy is my youngest brother. He is nearly five months old now."

"Awl, I can't wait to see him. I love babies," I exclaimed.

Charlie laughed, "Percy is not a baby…he is a monster! When mum isn't looking, he pulls my hair…mum says that I should cut it if I didn't want it pulled, but I think Percy just hates me. He cries every time I play with him."

Crystal shook her head and changed the subject, "How have all of your holidays been?"

"Since you asked, you tell first," Remus said.

"Oh, it wasn't too different than what usually goes on at my house. Lots of family came over, we visit…my relatives give me tons of money because I am the oldest child in the family. We eat and open presents…my best gift this year was a sterling silver Luna scope. Hmmm…that's about all that's worth telling…alright James, your turn!"

We went around and told each other about out best gifts, funniest moments and highlights. Finally, I was called on by Lily to tell my story.

"Well…" I began, but I was interrupted by Sirius.

"Wow…Ani, that is a nice ring," he exclaimed, reaching over and taking the ring that was around my neck into his hands. 

I gasped. It must have fallen out of my shirt when I bent over. I looked at Remus as everyone's attention was suddenly directed toward my ring.

"Where did you get that," Lily asked and then gasped, "Wait a minute…that is the ring I saw Remus buying in the jewelry store in Hogsmeade…"

I sighed and sat back up. The ring slipped out of Sirius' hands and I took the chain off of my neck. Remus took the chain out of my hand, slipped the ring off of it and took my right hand in his. I heard gasping and giggling from everyone as Remus looked into my eyes and placed the ring on my ring finger. We kissed each other, and I turned to the group.

"The best gift I received this Christmas was true love," I said.

"We are getting married," Remus informed them.

The group's reaction to this was just as we expected it to be – Bill was in awe, Lily and Crystal squealed and James and Sirius ambushed Remus with punches and slaps on the back (equipped with manly growls). 

"Have you set a date for the wedding," Lily asked when things had died down a bit.

"Yeah – December 2 of next year," I told her with a huge smile, "The ceremony is going to take place at Hogwarts."

"Why wait so long," Bill asked suddenly, "I bet you could hold the ceremony a couple days before school starts again."

"You mean, like, January 8," Crystal asked.

"Yeah," Bill exclaimed, "You have the place, the people, the House Elves to make food…all you need is dresses and rings."

Remus looked at me, "Bill is totally right – why wait? We are ready – lets have the ceremony earlier than January 8th, though. Lets have a New Year's celebration that will be remembered forever."

I stared at him in awe, "Remus, do you have any idea what you are saying? We aren't even seventeen yet – barely even sixteen! We are still in school and now is not the time to get married!"

"Anytime is a good time to get married," Remus argued, "You won't be seventeen on December 2. We will still be in school…do you honestly think that an extra eleven months will help us prepare or is it just eleven months less that we are married?"

"We have our whole lives to be married," I exclaimed, "Really, Remus, you are being ridiculous! This is new to us and I don't blame you for being excited, but I think that this excitement is clouding your judgment." 

"Why should my judgment be clouded? I want this more than anything in the world – I would think that you wanted it, too! I am not being ridiculous you are just being scared!"

"You are right! I am scared! This is all happening too fast!"

"Too fast," Remus asked, "I think that our life together couldn't come quickly enough! You know what I think? I think that you don't really want this – you just said that you wanted to because you didn't want to hurt me."

The room was silent. I looked around at everyone for the first time. They were looking everywhere but at Remus and I. When I stood and walked over to Remus, they all looked up. Remus stood to meet me.

"You know that I wouldn't do anything that I absolutely didn't want to do," I said in barely a whisper, "I love you and when I said that I wanted to marry you, I meant it. From what I just heard from you, it sounds to me like you aren't as ready for this as you think you are."

I turned to leave, but Remus took hold of my arm.

"Don't leave, please Ani," he begged, "You are right. This is new to us and I can see why you would be scared, because I am, too…though, I know that I have never been so sure of anything in my entire life."

I turned and looked up at him. A tear fell down my cheek and Remus wrapped his strong arms around me as I sunk into his embrace.

"Lets do it, Remus," I told him, "Lets ring in the New Year with a bang."

Remus held me out at arm's length, "Are you serious? Do you mean it?"

I nodded, "We have got a busy few days ahead of us."

Diagon Alley during the holidays has got to be the prettiest place ever – even prettier than Hogwarts. Crystal, Lily, mum, godmum and I were in the bridal shop, looking for my dress.

"What about this one," Crystal asked, pulling one out.

I examined it and then shook my head, "I need a longer train – I want it about seven to ten feet long."

She put the dress away and we continued looking as I bumped into my mum. She hugged me.

"My baby is growing up," she said, "Already getting married…"

"Awl, mum," I exclaimed.

"Both of our babies are growing up," godmum informed us, hugging both mum and me, "I am so proud of you and Remus. You have always been a daughter to me, and it is so great to have you and Remus finally get together."

Before I could reply, I heard Lily yell, "Ani! I think I have found you a dress!"

Mum, godmum and I walked over to Lily and I took in a deep breath. The long, white dress was embroidered with sequin roses at the top. The waistline dipped into a point in the front and the lower half of the dress was silk. On the back, the dress tied up and the train was long – nine feet.

"Its beautiful," I exclaimed.

"Go! Try it on," Lily insisted, shoving it into my hands. 

A few minutes later, I had mum and godmum in tears as I stood on the fitting stand, having some of the seams pulled in.

"What do you want the bride's maids' dresses to be," Crystal asked, "I can go look for them."

"I want a deep, red dress for Lily and a navy dress for you. The waistlines have to be dropped and pointed like mine as the arms of your Hogwarts Houses can be sewn on. I would like mum and godmum to find matching dresses, but I don't think that they are paying attention to a thing that I am saying."

Crystal and Lily laughed as Crystal left to find the dresses.

"You are one beautiful bride," Lily told me, "I hope that I am this pretty on my wedding day."

I laughed, "You don't have to hope – you will be."

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath – I couldn't believe that this was really happening. It was stunning.


	18. Chapter Seventeen

Warning: Lemonade is being served! Turn back now if the lemons are too sour for you!

The Truth About Remus

Chapter Seventeen

It was the afternoon of December 31. Everyone was running around, getting things done for tonight…everyone except for me. I was in the bathroom and getting sick every time I turned around.

"Ani," mum's voice called through the door, "Are you okay?"

I wiped my mouth from my last round and groaned, "Do I sound okay to you?"

"You really need to have something to eat," Godmother said, "That would make you feel better.

"Food," I asked and felt my stomach flip.

After another round of vomiting, I leaned back on the wall.

"You are just nervous," mum told me, "You need to settle yourself – take deep breaths ---"

"Dammit, mother, I am getting married not – oh Gods ---"

More retching…more groaning…more wiping…

"I have no idea what you could be throwing up," godmother said, "You haven't had a thing to eat."

"WOULD YOU PLEASE STOP TALKING ABOUT FOOD?!?"

"Alright, sweetie, we are going to check on things in the courtyard. Come out soon, please."

Nearly half an hour later, I stumbled out of the lavatory and into my room. Lily and Crystal were sitting in their bathrobes and stood when I came in.

"Dear, dear, you are looking worse than your groom," Lily exclaimed.

"My groom," I asked worriedly and put my hand over my mouth to keep myself from hurling; once I felt stature again, I spoke, "What is the matter with Remus?"

"He, James, Sirius and Bill decided to have a little bachelor party in their room last night," Lily began, "Halfway through the celebrating, they took the Invisibility Cloak and Marauder's Map to raid the kitchens for wine, vodka, rum – whatever they could get their hands on – and went back to the room. Current status of the male Marauders: James is fine, Sirius is a bit tipsy, Remus has been drowning himself in the shower all day and Bill hasn't awoken yet, but I am sure that when he does, he will feel the full effects of what he had done almost immediately."

"Speaking of showers," Crystal said, stepping forward, "Go…take a shower," she winked and I smiled, catching her drift.

"Lily, what is the password to the Prefect's Bathroom," I asked mysteriously.

"Cleanliness is not a sin."

"Thank you."

With that, I turned and high tailed it to the bathrooms, said the password and walked in. I saw where Remus had laid his clothes and I could hear the water running in one of the showers. Quickly, I jumped into that shower and ran my hands along Remus' slick shoulders. 

"Those robes do not do your justice," I purred in his ear.

Remus turned and his hands grabbed for a bare waist, only to be met by my dripping wet clothing.

"I know yours don't either…though, you remain clothed," he said, disappointed.

"Do you remember what you said to me after the shower on the first day of classes about seeing my wet clothing sticking to my body made you more sexually aroused than you have ever been in your life," I asked.

"Yes, I do remember it…very well," he replied, running his hands up the sides of my body, "but that didn't mean that it was impossible for me to become even more stimulated."

I placed my hands on his shoulders and brought my mouth to his ear, "Then unclothe me."

"Ani," he began with a nervous giggle, "I thought that we were going to wait until after the ceremony to deflower each other…you do have to live up to wearing a white dress, you know."

I laughed, "We are taking a shower, Remus, not having sex!"

"Oh, well, in that case…"

One of Remus' large hands tugged on the string tying my robes together and the bow fell apart. I sucked slowly and gently on his ear as my robes fell from my shoulders. Underneath, I wore nothing, and that was, obviously, what Remus was hoping for. I backed up against the shower wall as Remus kissed and sucked on my neck and shoulders and gently cupped my breasts in his hands. 

"Oh, Ani, what big breasts you have," he growled.

"The better to occupy your hands with, my dear," I whispered.

"Oh Ani, what a big mouth you have."

"The better to go down on you with…my dear."

With that, I dropped to my knees and took his cock in my hands. Slowly, I ran my hands up and down it, feeling it go hard in my palms. I took my tongue and licked from the bottom of the shaft to the head lightly and I could feel it throbbing within.

"Oh, Anistasia," he panted, "What a way with me you have."

"All the better to tease you with until tonight, my dear."

Running my hands up the side of his body, I got to my feet and smiled at the dumbfounded expression on his face. One of Remus' hands strayed away into the steamy mist and came back holding something slippery and pale. I grinned as Remus rubbed the soap on my wet body and got me slick and sudsy.

"Mmmm, that feels nice," I said as Remus massaged my shoulders with his soapy hands. 

I took the soap from behind me and began rubbing it up his arms, over his solid chest and down his rock solid abdomen. I rubbed his back and ass, squeezing it as I was pressed against the wall again. Remus pressed his lips against mine in a manner that made me forget who or where I was – I only knew that I was in the arms of my one true love.

"I – love – you," he mumbled between each kiss.

"I – love – you," I assured him, "Tonight – is going – to be – unbelievable."

"Tonight," he asked, still kissing me; suddenly, he pulled away, "Tonight! Oh Gods, we have to get ready or there wont be a 'tonight'!"

He and I jumped out of the shower, the water still running, and jumped into our clothes (mine, soaking wet). We ran to the tower and, with one last kiss, we split up and went to our rooms. 

"I believe that we are ready for the ceremony to go underway," Headmaster Dumbledore announced to the court and I who were standing in the entrance hall of the school.

I nodded and looked at father. He was proud, I could tell. Dumbledore walked out to the alter and we lined up to begin. The ceremonial music began (Mr. Filch was playing the violin) and we began walking. First, the groom's men escorting the bride's maids walked out into the night. I stood out of sight until the cue notes rang through the air.

As I stepped to the door, the guests (consisting of the Hogwarts' staff, family and friends) stood. Through my veil, I surveyed everything around me as I walked over the white isle. The night was dark, but the stars were shining brightly. Candles floated above and around everyone, showering them with light. Finally, I looked up at the alter and upon my groom. He was staring at me as though he couldn't believe his eyes. It seemed like a decade before I reached the end of the isle. Father and I stopped and Remus stepped forward.

"Who is giving this maiden to this man," Dumbledore asked.

"Joseph and Katrina Willow," father replied.

"Very well. You may all be seated."

Dad placed my hand in Remus', nodded, and then took a place between godfather and James. I handed my bouquet of white roses to Lily as mother adjusted my train. Remus placed his hands over my veil and lifted it up, over my head, to reveal my bright face.

"Does anyone here have any reason that these two should not be wed, please speak now or forever hold your peace?"

For the first time, I took my eyes off of Remus and looked out at the crowd. As I prayed, they never spoke. I looked anxiously at Dumbledore and he nodded to me.

"Let the ceremony begin."

With those words, I felt a great weight lift from my chest. I listened to mum and godmum sniffle in the background, listened to James and Sirius tell Remus to slap my ass, but all I could see was Remus.

"We have come together tonight in the sight of God to wed Anistasia M. Willow and Remus J. Lupin in holy matrimony. These two young people have known one another since birth and have established a friendship that can neither be tampered with nor broken," Dumbledore announced to the crowd, "They have been through hard times, jumped over hurdles and have gone through drastic changes together. All in all, this has led to them loving each other as strongly as a man and a woman can. Tonight, they will become one and will share their lives together for the rest of their days."

As Albus turned and looked at me, I could feel a shiver run down my spine. This was it. 

"Anistasia, do you take this man, Remus, to be your lawfully wedded husband, to love and to cherish, for better and for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health for as long as you both shall live," he asked.

I took a deep breath and looked into Remus' eyes, "I…" I felt a tear run down my face at the sight of Remus' smile and I put one of my hands on his cheek, "I truly, madly and deeply do."

Remus wiped the tear from my face as Headmaster Dumbledore turned to him and said, "Remus, do you take this woman, Anistasia, to be your lawfully wedded wife, to love and to cherish, for better and for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health for as long as you both shall live?" 

Remus got a look on his face, like, 'What in the hell do you think?' and smiled at me, "I do…with all of the pieces of my heart."

The best man, godfather, handed us rings, and we switched, placing them on each other's fingers and whispering, "I love you" to one another and looking up at Dumbledore. He nodded and had us turn to face the crowd.

"By the power invested in me by God and with witness to all stand here, I would like to introduce to you all Mr. and Mrs. Remus J. Lupin. Remus, you may kiss your bride."

Remus took me in his arms, and before kissing me said, "Today the kissing, tonight the fucking."

He placed his hand on my cheek and tilted his head towards mine. Our lips touched and I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him closer to me. There was cheering, and then, the sound of fireworks.

"Happy new year," people around us shouted.

The reception began a little while after that. Tons of pictures were taken and a huge cake was made by the house elves. Remus and I got together and danced the first dance of the night. The beginning notes of "Don't Stop Dancing" by Creed rang through the Great Hall as I wrapped my arms around his neck.

"This is perfect," I whispered to him. 

"Yeah…how about after this we sneak off to the Room of Requirement because I know that it is required tonight."

I giggled, "Remus, is that all you think about?"

"No," he replied sternly, "I just want to hear you scream my name to the Gods."

_At times life is wicked and I just can't _**_  
_**_see the light_**_  
_**_A silver lining sometimes isn't enough _**_  
_**_To make some wrongs seem right_**_  
_**_Whatever life brings_**_  
_**_I've been through everything_**_  
_**_And now I'm on my knees again_

"But I know I must go on, although I hurt I must be strong because inside I know that many feel this way. Children, don't stop dancing," I sang, "Believe you can fly, away."

_At times life's unfair and you know _**_  
_**_it's plain to see_**_  
_**_Hey God I know I'm just a dot in _**_  
_**_this world_**_  
_**_Have you forgot about me?_**_  
_**_Whatever life brings_**_  
_**_I've been through everything_**_  
_**_And now I'm on my knees again_

"Am I hiding in the shadows," we sang to each other, "Forget the pain and forget the sorrows. But I know I must go on, although I hurt I must be strong, because inside I know that many feel this way…"

_Children don't stop dancing_**_  
_**_Believe you can fly_**_  
_**_Away…away_**_  
  
_**_Am I hiding in the shadows? _**_  
_**_Are we hiding in the shadows? _

The song ended and everyone joined us on the dance floor. Later, Lily caught my bouquet of roses and Sirius caught my garter, but he let James put it on Lily. Around three in the morning, Remus and I snuck off to the Room of Requirement to amend our marriage.

I walked in and found that it was beautiful and as romantic as could be from the black, four-poster bed with silk sheets right down to the vintage leather scented candles placed about the room. I felt a tug on the strings of my gown as Remus loosened it and swept it off of my body. It fell into a white puddle around my ankles and Remus brushed his nose gently against my neck and traced a pattern into the soft, tan skin.

"I love how this garter belt and corset looks on you," Remus growled passionately in my ear, "but I am afraid that it will have to join the dress on the floor."   

I felt him reach around my front to untie the corset, but I stopped him.

"Not so fast," I teased, "Lets take it to the bed, shall we?"

He nodded, took me in his strong arms and carried me to the bed. As soon as he climbed in himself, I mounted him, right over his bulging erection, and ran one of my hands through his hair, and with the other, I tore off his tie. He smiled in a devilish manner at me as I took one of his tuxedo shirt buttons in my mouth and undid the button. I repeated this process slowly, moving down his chest and stomach. The final button sat over his crotch, and as this button was undone, my chin brushed against his throbbing erection and I raised my eyebrows.

"Oh, yes, I am ready for you darling," Remus said, answering my expression as I ran my well-manicured fingers in circles around his chest, "The question is, are you ready for me?"

I giggled as Remus picked me up by my waist and turned me on my back. I slid his shirt off of him and threw it blindly onto the floor. One by one, Remus loosened the strings on the front of my corset and opened it, releasing the tension on my breasts. He cupped one in his hand and brought his mouth slowly to the sensitive nipple. I squirmed a bit at the extraordinarily erotic emotion that ran through my veins. With his free hand, he undid his pants and kicked them onto the floor.

As I helped him with my garter belt and panties, it was evident that we were caught up in the heat of passion, knowing only that this, what we wanted, couldn't happen a moment too soon. Before I knew it, we were naked, Remus lying on top of me, staring into each other's eyes and savoring the moment.

I ran my hand up Remus' arm and down his back as though memorizing the way his body curved under my roaming hand, as he, too, examined my body. We were being touched for the very first time, and were enjoying every minute of it. 

Remus planted kisses on my neck, down between my breasts, around my bellybutton and, finally, his lips and tongue found the exact perfect spot. As his tongue weaved in and out of my pussy, I felt myself becoming wetter and more anxious to feel him throbbing inside of me. I groaned erotically as Remus nibbled on my clit – I was finally feeling the touch of a man, and I was so glad that Remus was the man.

His lips followed their trail back up my body. They found my lips and we kissed one another, Remus working my clit and I rubbing my hands up and down his cock, until we could stand being virgins no longer.

"Are you ready, my bride," he gasped.

"Make me bad," I purred.

No more explanation was needed, and Remus thrust himself into me and we both groaned at the feeling.

"Oh, Remus, what a big cock you have," I gasped.

"Thank you."

And the ride began. We worked, pushing a pulling, tossing and turning, gasping and groaning, each thrust becoming harder and faster than the one before it. I was in pure, unconscious erotica as my hands grabbed at the sheets, though, it was hard for them to stay put.

"Harderfasterfasterharder," I urged in one long string, "Remus, you are making me BAD!"

He sucked on the base of my neck, knowing only that smell of me, the feel of me and I knowing only him. I wrapped my legs around his waist to keep hold, now that the thrusts were coming at a wild rate, I was being lifted off of the bed almost entirely.

That is when I felt him empty himself inside of me as I screamed his name to the gods as I came. Hot and panting, he rolled off of me and held me in his arms. With two of his fingers, he scooped into my wetness and they came back, glistening with the mixture of our juices.

"That is us," he whispered in my ear and licked some of the fluid off of his fingers, "and we taste good."

He put his fingers to my lips and I licked and sucked them dry.

"Us, as it is and always shall be," I whispered back.

I closed my eyes and listened to his heartbeat within his chest. There we slept entangled in our loving vine.


	19. Chapter Eighteen

The Truth About Remus

Chapter Eighteen

It was the morning of the first day of the last six months of the school year. The new schedules for the sixth years were being passed out during breakfast. Instead of being separated by houses, we were being separated by the classes we were requited to take for our professions.

"Anistasia Lupin," Remus said grinning as he handed me my schedule, "Auror."

"Mmmm, this looks absolutely yummy. The classes are longer – two and a half hours each – though we do have fewer a day. Defense Against the Dark Arts, Transfiguration and Potions I have everyday."

"Well you _are_ going to be an Auror," James told me.

 "I think it has something to do with my 'Outstanding' scores. Professor McGonagall told me that since I had done so well, she wants to make me as knowledgeable and prepared for what is going to come up in the real Auror training," I replied.

"It's the Ministry of Magic for me," Sirius exclaimed, "or I could start my own branch of the black market ---"

"Stop right there, Mr. Black," Lily warned.

"Yeah, we've already got a black market," James exclaimed, "Marauders only, but it is a black market nonetheless."

"James stop," Lily exclaimed, "Someone may hear you and take you seriously!"

"What's not to be taken seriously?"

"What is up with Sirius," Remus asked, sitting down from his rounds.

"Nothing, Moony," Sirius said, "We were just talking about our schedules."

Remus looked at his and sighed, "What's there to talk about? I am not taking any N.E.W.T. classes except for Defense Against the Dark Arts. My illness keeps me out of class too much. I would easily fall behind if I were taking anything else."

"What illness," Bill asked, "You look healthy to me."

"Nothing, Stryker."

I sighed as the bell rang, "Good luck with your classes, guys. See you at lunch!"

They nodded and I headed down into the dungeons for N.E.W.T. Potions. I walked into the familiar classroom and noticed that only five other people were there, including Snape. I sat in my regular seat and waited for class to begin.

Professor Victor grinned as he looked upon the six of us, "I am glad to see that none of you are partnered up. In this class, it is every witch and wizard for themselves. You all know why you are here – you scored an 'Outstanding' on your O.W.L's. In here, if you cant live up to outstanding at all times, you will be dropped from the class, and for those of you studying to be Aurors," he looked to me and then to Snape, "that you cannot afford. Do all of you understand?"

"Yes, sir," I replied.

He looked at me and smiled pleasantly, "I see that Mrs. Lupin is off on an outstanding foot."

I felt Snape's eyes on me, and I looked back at him. He turned his head away quickly, but not before I caught a look of question on his face.

"Today, we will go through basic rules and procedures on what is going to go on in this classroom from now to the end of your Hogwarts' career. Tomorrow, you will step knee deep in danger. In this class, you will be making the most lethal of poisons and their antidotes – if an antidote is available. There will be no fooling around in this class. I have had students accidentally poisoned, and the first time any of you goof off will be the last time you are in this classroom. I believe that my warnings are crystal clear, and these will be the only ones that you receive."

Professor Victor had us take vicious notes throughout the entire two and a half hours. The bell rang not a moment too soon. I packed my things and began flexing my right hand.

"I have to get myself one of those self-writing quills," I mumbled to myself.

"I wouldn't do that, Mrs. Lupin," Professor Victor informed me, obviously because he overheard my comment, "I did not allow you to be in this class to slack off."

I nodded to him, "Yes, sir."

I left and headed to my second class – N.E.W.T. Defense Against the Dark Arts. This class was a bit fuller than the last – about eighteen people were in attendance. Again, Severus was there, sitting alone in the back. I took a seat near the front. Professor Reed emerged from his office and tapped his wand on the board. Here emerged several lines of notes. As we copied them down, the professor explained them and asked us to get out our N.E.W.T. books.

"Please get with a partner and discuss and outline the first three chapters," he said.

I looked around and noticed that everyone was partnered up…everyone except for Severus. I sighed, picked up my books and walked over to him.

"Would you like to be my partner," I asked.

Severus sat, staring at the chapter he was reading, "No."

"Everyone else is already partnered up."

"So work by yourself. It can't be that hard…I mean, look at me."

"Professor Reed said to partner up."

"…and…?"

"And that is exactly what I am trying to do," I replied.

"Excuse me, is there a problem here," our professor asked, walking over.

For the first time, Severus looked up, "No, sir. I was just inviting her to take a seat."

"Well then," Professor Reed exclaimed, raising his eyebrows, "Mrs. Lupin, take a seat and get to work!"

I smiled sweetly and innocently, but threw my books down beside Severus with a bang.

"Thanks a lot," I told him.

"For what?"

"For making yourself look so innocent."

"That was no problem," he scuffed.

"Why do you bother," I asked.

"Again, you have lost me."

"Why do you bother trying to look so good in front of the professors when everyone knows that you are just a lonely, cold-hearted bastard?"

He shrugged, "If that is what you really think of me, then why did you ask me to be your partner?"

"You know – I really don't know."

"Good, then lets get to work."

I gaped at him as he opened up to the first chapter. I sighed and followed his lead. We began discussing the first chapter ("An Introduction to the Darkest Curses and their Counterparts") and talked about what important parts should go into the outline.

"You are trying to make this way too thorough," he told me after ten minutes, "This is just a study guide for the test on Friday."

"No, Snape, this is a study guide for next year's N.E.W.T.'s as well.

He closed his eyes and leaned back, "Please, call me Severus. 'Snape'…its as though you are screaming at me, even though you could only be whispering it…"

I looked at him, bewildered, "I am sorry, Severus."

He nodded and leaned over his notes, "You are right, Anistasia, this will be a study guide for next year's N.E.W.T.'s. Let's keep working your way."

We worked together in harmony until the end of class, but we hadn't finished our outlines, which meant that we had to finish them for homework. Severus and I began walking to lunch together discussing when we should get together to finish.

"When do you have study hall," I asked.

"After lunch today. How about you?"

"First period tomorrow."

"That bites," he replied, "Are you doing anything after dinner?"

"No. Would you like to meet in the library?"

"Yeah," he said as we walked into the Great Hall, "Does seven o'clock sound good?"

I nodded, "Sounds great. See you then."

"Bye."

I walked over to the Gryffindor table and sat beside Remus. He gave me a kiss on the cheek and James gave me a look of disgust.

"Moony, why are you kissing her," he asked.

"Because she is my wife," Remus replied as though it was the most obvious answer in the world, "Did you just suddenly forget what happened a little over a week ago?"

"No, I didn't, but did _you_ see who she walked into the Great Hall with?"

"No – who?" 

"Snivellus Snape," James spat.

"Ani," Remus asked in disbelief, "tell me that James has been mistaken."

"Mistaken," James asked, "Oh no, I cannot be mistaken by the way I saw Thumper smiling at him as she bid him farewell."

"If you are insinuating that I was flirting with Severus, then you are completely mistaken," I exclaimed in my defense, "We happen to have the first two classes together and I was partnered up with him for an assignment in Defense Against the Dark Arts."

"Traitor," James hissed at me, "You are pulling a Pettigrew."

"She is not," Sirius exclaimed to his friend, "You are overreacting, Prongs, just settle down. I know that she, of all people, wouldn't do that to us."

James opened his mouth to speak, but Lily stopped him, "Sirius is right. She would never betray a friend's confidence. Drop it, James."

He sighed and nodded as Remus turned to me, "Would you like to take a walk around the lake with me after the sun goes down – about seven-ish?"

I nearly dropped my fork, "I – I cant, I'm sorry."

"Why? What's going on?"

"I have to finish an assignment tonight."

"That's great, because I do, too," he exclaimed, "We can do our homework together in the common room ---"

"No," I said, cutting him off, "No, we cant. I have to…to meet Severus in the library. We have to finish what we started in Defense Against the Dark Arts."

"Oh," Remus replied sounding extremely hurt, "Well, I guess I will see you at dinner tonight, then."

I nodded and he left. I looked around at my friends; James shot me another look of disgust, Lily gave me a look of sympathy and Sirius didn't look at me at all. 

"I wouldn't betray you guys," I said to them quietly, "You all are my family – always have been. Please tell me that you trust me."

"We trust you," Lily told me, but no one else.

I sighed, not at all reassured, and left.

I entered the library after dinner that night, and my mood had not improved in the least. Almost immediately, I spotted the table at which Severus was sitting, and joined him.

"Lets just hurry up and get this over with," I said in an aspirated voice, "I need to go to bed as early as possible."

"Tired, huh," he asked in a suggestive manner.

"No, it's just that the Marauders think that I am betraying them and it doesn't put me in a good mood. I can't believe them! They are acting so childish!"

"Its my fault, isn't it? Just because you had an assignment to do with me."

"Its not really your fault," I told him, "Its just that they cannot see this in an adult manner. They know that I think of them as my family, but that doesn't matter to them right now."

"You are lucky to have friends that you can call your family…or a real family at that."

I could see that this subject was treading on uncomfortable territory, so I opened my book my book, "How about we just get to work?"

Severus nodded and we attacked the second half of chapter two. At one point, we were discussing the wand movement for the counter curse for the Firesnap curse, when Severus took a particular interest in my left hand.

"That is a nice ring," he said, interrupting my wand movement explanation, "May I take a closer look?" 

"Certainly." 

I put down my wand and Severus took my hand, examining the ring. 

"Twenty carat diamond – wow," he said under his breath, "Remus must really love you."

"He does…and I love him."

"Anistasia, I have to confess something to you – I was intrigued by you from the moment I saw you, but James and Sirius were quick to make an enemy of me. Remus went along with them, you went with Remus and I was alone. I am happy that you and Remus fell in love, but I regret that I never raked up enough courage to try and call a truce so I could become a friend to you – or more."

I smiled and shook me head, "I can call a truce, I can be your friend, but I can give you no more than that."

"I understand, and your friendship is all that I ask for."

For the first time, I watched a smile spread across his lonely face. We finished the assignment sooner than I expected when this wall had been blasted away, and he walked me to the portrait of the Fat Lady.

"'Till morrow, M'lady," he said, bowing.

"I shall see you in Potions, Severus."

He left and I walked into the portrait hole. When I reached the common room, I saw that Remus was sitting on the couch, staring off into space. He looked at me as I walked in and stood. I opened my mouth to speak, but Remus held up his hand.

"Before you say anything, allow me to apologize," he said, "I should have known better than to overreact today at lunch – everyone should have, though, it was like dija vous all over again."

I nodded, "Severus is lonely. He only fights us because we picked a fight with him first. All he wants is friendship, and I am going to give that to him. You guys don't have to, but I will. I have called a truce with him, and I wish for it to stand."

"We will have to call a Marauder meeting. I just want you to know, if no one else tells you this, I know you won't sell us out to Snape. I completely trust you."

"Thank you."

Remus put on his best puppy face and held out his arms, "May I have a hug?"

I walked to him, grinning, "Remus, you may have much more than a hug if that is what you so desire."

"Room of Requirement?"

"Get the cloak and the Map and meet me back here in ten."

"I love you, baby."

Remus kissed me hard on the lips and ran off to his room. I looked after him and smiled.


	20. Chapter Nineteen

The Truth About Remus

Chapter Nineteen

It was a Saturday – finally a Saturday! I had never been so thankful for a day off. The N.E.W.T.'s classes and were James constantly sending me glares were getting the best of me. Though, none of that was going to get me down because it was a Saturday – no homework, no angry glances: just fun and relaxation with the man of my dreams – and my reality. I walked into the Great Hall with a smile on my face. Nothing on this day could get me down.

"Hey, guys," I said in a perky sort of tone as I took my usual spot beside Remus, "Today is such a beautiful day! The sun is shining and…can you smell the springtime in the air?"

Sirius blinked at me; he isn't a morning person, "I only smell breakfast."

Remus smiled and hugged me, "I smell it, Love. What makes you so happy on this day?"

"The fact that I am going to spend it with you," I exclaimed, "I have no work, no stress and my only priority is Remus Lupin."

"Ah, but m'lady, what is there to do at Hogwarts except for study?"

"Who says that you have to stay at Hogwarts," James asked.

Remus cocked an eyebrow at his friend, "What are you getting at, Prongs?"

James leaned over the table and muttered, "I'll give you tow the Marauder's Map and Invisibility Cloak, and you can sneak into Hogsmeade for a day of love and lust."

Remus and I grinned at his proposal.

"Hey, you got mad at me for sneaking into Hogsmeade," Bill exclaimed to us, "How come you get to do it?"

"Stryker, there are some things that you must know about the Marauders," I began to explain, "One of those things is that we are skilled in the art of stealth."

"Thumper and I can get in and out of Hogsmeade unnoticed," Remus joined in, "Do not worry about us. We wont get caught."

"So you'll take me up on my offer," James asked with a sly grin.

"You bet, boyo," I said,

"Well, what are we waiting for," he asked and the three of us stood and walked to his dorm.

James handed Remus the Invisibility Cloak and I the Marauder's Map. I tapped the tip of my wand to the blank face of the parchment.

"I solemnly swear I am up to no good."

As I finished this, ink began to appear in the middle of the parchment and spread to the tips.

Welcome, Thumper! Mr. Moony could not help but pop in and compliment you on your radiant beauty on this fine morning!

I smiled and watched as Sirius' text began to appear.

Mr. Padfoot would like to inform Mr. Moony that he is causing Mr. Prongs to hurl!

I giggled slightly as I saw James' handwriting show up.

Indeed, Mr. Padfoot is correct…Mr. Prongs is going to hurl…((retching sounds)).

Alas, I saw what I had been waiting for…my own response.

Mistress Thumper would like to smack Mr. Padfoot and Mr. Prongs and acknowledge how kind Mr. Moony's compliment was. Thank you, Mr. Moony.

Anytime, Mistress Thumper.

Moony's last words spread and expanded into a set of intricate lines. At the top of it, it said:

**Mssrs. Moony, Padfoot, Prongs and the delicate Mistress Thumper, Purveyors of Aids to Magical Mischief Makers are proud to present:**

**The Marauder's Map**

I smiled as I watched the small dots that represented the people moving through the school spring up from inside the page.

"What looked like the safest way to get in," Remus asked, looking over my shoulder.

"We couldn't get under the Whomping Willow this time of day…a bunch of fourth years are hanging around the one-eyed witch, Mrs. Norris is on the fourth floor…the best bet is going down to the dungeons, through the wall that pushes open at the password and through the trap door near the very end of the corridor," I told him.

"That will take us into the cellar of Hog's Head," Remus mumbled, "I think we can pull it off."

"Of course you can," James exclaimed, "You two are Marauders! Now get out there and defy the world in secret!"

I laughed and blew James a kiss as Remus threw the Invisibility Cloak over top of us. We held the Map between the two of us as we trekked stealthily through the corridors and finally through the trap door. The cellar of Hog's Head was damp and musty. The part that we had entered in wasn't used much and is one of the safest ways to sneak into Hogsmeade. Remus and I slid easily out of Hog's Head and into the village.

"What should we do," I asked in a whisper, "we can't go into the Three Broomsticks or Zonko's to buy anything – the people there know us."

"Don't worry about it," he replied, "I have to show you something anyway. I was going to wait until next Hogsmeade trip, but this is too good – I am about to bust."

"What is it? What?"

"Shhh! Just follow me!"

He took my hand, and under invisibility, he quickly led me, weaving through the crowds of people.

"Where are we going," I asked.

"You'll see," he said mysteriously, "I was supposed to wait until the summer to show you, but, Gods, I would have died before then."

Once we were out of the shopping area and intro the housing communities, we slowed our pace.

"Please tell me, Remus! I don't think that I can hold out much longer!"

"You won't have to. Look."

He pointed to the house we were standing in front of – the white, Victorian house that I had fallen in love with in my third year. Remus began pulling me up the driveway.

"Wait…Remus, what are you doing? We can't waltz right up there!"

"Why not," he asked.

"People own this house!"

"Yes, they do."

"They think we are crazy teenagers," I hissed.

"Do you think that you are a crazy teenager?"

"No."

"Then you have nothing to worry about," Remus assured me.

We climbed up to the porch and I saw Remus pull a key out of his pocket. He inserted it into the keyhole, turned and pushed the unlocked door open.

"Welcome to the home of the Lupins," Remus announced as we walked in.

I gasped as I looked around and took the cloak off of myself. 

"What do you think," he asked.

After a moment, I replied, "I can't think. This is all so amazing. Is it really ours?"

"It is all ours."

"But how?"

"That isn't important – all that is important is that I am giving you everything I promised to give you and how many memories we will share in this house."

I grinned at him and put my arms around his neck. With one kiss, I pulled back and asked, "Would you like to make the first memory right now?"

"We don't have a bed," he told me.

"And we HAVE to have a bed?"

He laughed, "How stupid of me…"

He picked me up and carried me upstairs into the master bedroom. We ended up quickly and hastily transforming our clothes into a bed and sheets before Remus looked down upon me and allowed me to wrap my aching cunt around his throbbing dick in an act of love and lust.

When I awoke from our adventure, it was dark outside. I grew panicked and shook Remus awake.

"Remus…Remus," I said, "Its dark outside! We have to get back to Hogwarts!"

"What?"

He awoke with a start and hopped out of the bed in all of his naked glory.

"Come on," he urged, "we don't have time to transfigure our clothes back!"

"But ---"

"Its nearly ten o'clock, Ani!"

I whimpered as I followed Remus down o the front door. The Invisibility Cloak and Marauder's Map were right where we had dropped them in front of the door. Remus covered us up and we began making out journey to the Shrieking Shack. We walked closer to the center of town and could hear screaming and fighting going on. I looked to Remus.

"What do you think it is, Moony?"

My question was answered as a jet of green light appeared in the sky above Hogsmeade and formed to create a skull with a snake protruding from its mouth.

"The Dark Mark," Remus whispered, "You-Know-Who is over there, and you won't be involved."

My stomach churned inside my body with every movement as I made my way back up to the school with Remus. We made it to the common room with no mishaps and he and I said our goodnights.

I was not surprised to find that when I entered the room, Lily was nowhere to be found.

"Your intentions are good," I asked as though Lily were standing in front of me as I drifted off to sleep, "If you are out there tonight, you mustn't know what good intentions are."


	21. Chapter Twenty

The Truth About Remus

Chapter Twenty

"Sunday classes are slack," James exclaimed as he took a muffin from the basket in the middle of the table, "I mean, its 6:30 in the morning and the only people who have to be here are sixth and seventh years! Damn N.E.W.T. classes…"

All I could do was nod and poke my waffles as everyone else replied in verbal agreement. I was still thinking about what I witnessed in Hogsmeade the previous night. There was something that was not right…an air hung over me. Maybe it was because I knew people had died last night and maybe it was because one of my best friends was there, in the midst of it, fighting on the wrong side. I wasn't able to make eye contact with Lily this morning and she herself hadn't made an effort to say a thing to me.

"Speaking of N.E.W.T. classes," I began, "I have to get to Potions early to start on today's lesson."

"Ani, class doesn't start for another fifteen minutes," Remus exclaimed as I stood up.

"I know," I replied and kissed him, "but I am in training to be an Auror which means that I have to work ten times harder than all of the other students."

He waved bye to me with a disappointed look on his face as I made my way down into the dungeons. The classroom was empty as I walked into the cold, dark room. I got down to work, setting up my ingredients, and reciting the poison's incantation.

"Obticeo, painless…insto."

I also set up to brew the antidote to this poison, curiously named "Anastasia", or "Resurrection". I was ready to brew as the bell rang and students began piling in. I smiled at Severus as he sat down beside me.

"I see this is going to be a day just like any other – Mrs. Anistasia Lupin is going to be the teacher's pet."

"To work hard does not qualify as being the teacher's pet," I told him as he sneered at me, "It means that I want to do well so I can become the best Auror I can be – or die trying."

Before Severus could reply, Professor Victor coughed loudly to gather everyone's attention and the room grew silent.

"This morning, we are going to brew one of the most lethal of poisons – does anyone know what it is," he asked the class, "How about you, Severus?"

"Saki," he said aloud, "It means 'death', but why give the poison such a final name when one can be saved from its effects?"

The professor laughed, "You have a point, Mr. Snape, a very good point indeed! Yes, today's poison is called Saki and its name does mean 'death', however, if given the antidote within five minutes of consuming or injecting it, you will live. The potion's life is two weeks whereas the antidote's life is three days. Speaking of the antidote, Anistasia, can you tell me the name of it?"

I smiled and nodded, "The antidote is called Anastasia which means 'resurrection', seeing as how once your consume the poison, you are killed instantly, like it says in the incantation, 'silent, painless…instant'. The only way to be resuscitated is with Anastasia, and like you said, Professor Victor, it must be administered almost immediately."

"Excellent, Mrs. Lupin," Professor Victor exclaimed.

"Excuse me, Professor ---"

The class turned to the back of the room to see Headmaster Dumbledore's head floating in the fireplace.

"Yes headmaster," he asked.

"I need to see Anistasia Lupin in my office immediately."

I stopped breathing.

_Oh my Gods_, I thought, _this…he must have found out that Remus and I snuck out yesterday…I am about to be expelled…both of us…_

I took a deep breath as Severus touched me on the shoulder.

"Are you okay," he asked.

I nodded, "Yeah fine."

I gathered my things and quickly strode out of the dungeons classroom, though, once in the corridor, I slowed my pace drastically.

_Bye moisture covered dungeon walls_, I thought, _bye-bye doorway that leads to the main school building…I am going to miss you…_

I reached the stone gargoyle guarding the entrance to Headmaster Dumbledore's office much too soon. I approached it and, as though it knew that Dumbledore was expecting me, it began to turn. I stepped onto the spinning staircase and waited for my arrival at the top, though prayed that the staircase would become stuck or something. However, that didn't happen and, before I knew it, I was sitting in an armchair beside Remus, looking into the grave eyes of the Headmaster. We sat there, silent for a time, and the voices in my head began to speak to me in a frantic manner.

'Tell him,' they screamed, 'Confess! He already knows! If you confess then maybe he will allow you to stay!'

I ignored the voices and I ignored the sick spells that were threatening to wash over me. All I could do was sit and stare unblinkingly at my headmaster and try to read the expression on his face. It was impossible.

"Remus and Anistasia, there is a reason that I have called you both here."

His voice was steady and low, though I cringed as though he was screaming. When he opened his mouth again, I knew that he was winding up for the blow.

"Something unfortunate occurred last evening in Hogsmeade ---"

'_Confess…confess…_'

"Anistasia, sweetie…"

Oh, no…he is going to confront me first… 

His next words were like a bullet to the head.

"Your mother died last night after she and a squad of Aurors confronted and dueled Lord Voldemort and a pack of Death Eaters," he told me and he looked close to tears himself, "I cannot express to you my sorrow ---"

All feeling had been sucked out of me. I felt as though my chest was caving in on my lungs – it was so hard for me to breathe – I was numb. My hand reached up to touch my cheek, and there was something there, something wet – a tear. I was crying.

I hit reality at 200 miles per hour and my head began to ache…my stomach began to tie into knots and by heart began to break. Suddenly more and more water flowed out of my eyes and, in no time, my cheeks and hands were covered in salty moisture. I was sobbing uncontrollably now and I fell forward out of the seat and onto my knees. 

Remus wrapped his arms around me and pulled me to him as I buried my face in his chest. I was unable to think. I didn't even really know what I was crying about – I just knew that I had heard words that had upset me greatly. I felt as though my soul had been torn from my body and was being ripped into little pieces before me…slowly, they sailed to the floor.

_My mother was dead._

"No," I cried, "She can't be!"

_Dumbledore told you so – it has to be true._

"Shhh, Ani," I heard Remus mumble into my ear, "Everything will be alright."

I couldn't stop crying, though. My mum was dead – my best female friend. She was always there for me, always gave me advice. I shared everything with her – we went on mother/daughter shopping sprees every summer and caught up with her on what she had missed while I was at school.

Nearly twenty minutes later, I felt the sprinklers shut off inside of me. I had caused a drought and was unable to shed another tear, though I stayed within Remus' embrace. It was my safe zone. Nothing from the outside world could touch me – nothing in the outside world was real.

"Ani," I heard him say, "we have to go pack."

"No…I want to stay right here."

"You can't. We have to go home."

"Please don't make me go," I begged, "Please don't let it be real."

Remus picked me up in is strong arms and sat me back on the chair.

"I know this is hard," he whispered to me, "but you can't be shielded from this. You can't pretend this didn't happen, Anistasia. You need to be a strong woman now, more than you were before."

I nodded and he kissed me on the forehead. 

"I am going to go pack and I will get Lily to get your stuff. I will be back in thirty minutes," he informed me.

I nodded and sat back, staring at my feet stretched out in front of me.

"I'm sorry, Anistasia," Headmaster Dumbledore said quietly.

"Who did it," I asked, "Who?"

"A source of mine told me that it was Voldemort."

I grew angry, "Did this _source_ also happen to mention that Lily Evans is one of Voldemort's minions?"

"So you know, too," he asked with a sigh, "We will talk with Ms. Evans once she and Mr. Lupin arrive." 

We waited in silence. I couldn't speak as Lily walked in a few minutes later for fear that I would explode at her.  

"I'm…I'm sorry, Ani," Lily mumbled as she set my trunk beside my chair, "Your mother was a wonderful woman."

I snapped my head in her direction and opened my mouth to scream at her, but Dumbledore received the first word.

"Ms. Evans, would you take a seat with us for a moment," he asked.

"Certainly, Headmaster." 

She sat down and everything was silent again – everything but the sound of the white-hot anger boiling up inside of me.

"Mrs. Lupin, you asked me if my source informed me that Ms. Evans was a Death Eater, correct," Headmaster Dumbledore asked and I nodded in response, "To answer your question, Ms. Evans _is_ my source."

I raised my eyebrows and looked to Lily. She was sitting still.

"Lily ---"

"I told you that I would explain when the time was right," she said bitterly.

"I believe that this would be a good time to explain, and please, allow me," Dumbledore began and then cleared his throat, "Lily is a part of a group called the Order of the Phoenix, that which I am head of. There were rumors that some of the students were finding ways to sneak out of the school and join Voldemort's army. Ms. Evans was asked by another student to do this and she came straight to me. I asked her of she wanted to make the ultimate sacrifice and join the Order, and she accepted. Making this sacrifice, she went to Voldemort, bears the Mark and spies for me when she is called by him."

"Like I told you, Ani, my intentions are noble."

I nodded, "Has anyone that is a student here been caught and sent to Azkaban?"

"No," Lily told me, "none of the student can be. The Mark that we bear can only been seen by those who are trustworthy until we leave Hogwarts, so, if no one can see the Mark, there is no proof against them."

"But I saw it," I exclaimed, "I wouldn't join ranks with HIM!"

"I know – that is what puzzled me at first, but then I realized something," Lily told me, "You aren't untrustworthy to me. You wouldn't rat me out."

"But I just did – a few minutes before you came in."

"You did it out of anger. Other than that, you are an example of the perfect friend. Ani," Lily said quietly and although I wasn't looking at her, I could hear in her voice that she was nearly in tears, "Seeing what Voldemort did was almost unnerving, but I promise you, we will get our revenge."

"Thank you, Lily," I whispered, "I know that you are making the ultimate sacrifice by bearing that Mark – please be careful as you do."

She stood up and hugged me before kissing Remus on the cheek and leaving. After the large, oak door shut behind her, Dumbledore spoke to us.

"You will be leaving for two weeks as to give you time to recover. Mrs. Lupin, if you can be beside your fireplace at nine every night, you can receive instructions, lessons and homework from your N.E.W.T.'s lessons so you can stay caught up," he informed me, "If some nights are more unbearable than others, either Mr. Lupin can gather the instructions or you can wait another night."

"Thank you, Headmaster."

He led Remus and I to a carriage that took us to Hogsmeade Station. From there, we went home, and I was all the time wrapped in Remus' strong, protective arms.


	22. Chapter Twenty One

The Truth About Remus

Chapter Twenty-One

Mother's funeral was beautiful, although I hardly remember any of it. There was no open casket. Father and I decided that we wouldn't be able to handle it properly so, to respect our wishes, it was closed. Almost the entire Ministry was there…there was a lot of crying. All I could think as Remus rocked me in his arms was how terrible it must be to die at the wand of a fellow wizard. The worst thing to bear, though, was that she wasn't the only one to die that night.

She was murdered…that cold hearted son of a bitch killed her. She didn't deserve it…no one deserves that.

No matter how bad I felt some nights, I always got my lessons. Knowing that Remus was waiting to wrap his arms around me and sing me to sleep kept me going. Music was another soothing outlet that I discovered in my free time. I only used to play music for fun, but now, it is like medicine…a drug.

Remus and I arrived back to Hogwarts with our trunks and a few of my instruments. When we reached the Gryffindor Common Room, the Marauders, Crystal and Lily hugged us tightly, causing us to drop everything. After the greetings, Everyone's attention turned towards the instruments.

"Wow, these are nice," Lily said as I laid them across the couch and floor and opened their cases, "I play a bit of guitar myself – will you play something?"

"Sure," I replied.

I picked up the acoustic and motioned for Remus to take the bass. As usual, I began to play a random song…just something that came to my fingers.

"Makin' my way downtown, walking fast, faces pass and I'm homebound," I sang, quietly at first, since I wasn't used to such a crowd, but I soon grew louder as I began feeling the music, "Starin' blankly ahead, just makin' my way, makin' my way through the crowd."

_And I need you_

_And I miss you_

_And now I wonder…_

_If I could fall_

_Into the sky_

Do you think time _Would pass me by_

"Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles if I could just see you tonight." 

_Its always times like these when I think of you_

_And I wonder if you ever think of me_

_Cause everything's so wrong and I don't belong_

_Living in your precious memory_

Cause I need you 

_And I miss you_

And now I wonder 

"If I could fall into the sky, do you think time would pass me by," I sang, "Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles if I could just see you…tonight. And I, I…don't want to let you know I drown in your memory. I, I…don't want to let this go. I…I don't…"

_Makin my way downtown, walking fast faces pass and I'm homebound_

_Starin blankly ahead making my way, making my way through the crowd_

_And I still need you_

And I still miss you _And now I wonder_

"If I could fall into the sky, do you think time would pass us by…cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles if I could just see you…if I could just hold you…tonight."

I played the last few chords until I felt satisfied. Once they died out, I ran up to my room without an explanation to any of my friends.

That night, Severus and I sat in the library studying. He was helping me catch up on the things that I had missed, but there was just no way I could concentrate. After nearly an hour of this, Severus put his quill down and sighed.

"Are you feeling okay," he asked softly.

I looked up into his black eyes and replied, "So many people have asked me that since I have gotten back, and I told them that I was, but in total truth, I am not – I really am not."

"What do you say we pack this up and try again tomorrow night?"

I nodded and helped him clean up, but as we were going our separate ways, I called to him.

"Severus?"

He stopped walking, turned back to me and asked in a low voice, "Yes?"

"I – um, would you mind taking a walk around the lake with me? I don't feel like bothering Remus and I can't go alone…"

"Yeah, of course."

We walked out onto the grounds together and towards the lake, in silence at first, but then, Severus spoke.

"I am really sorry about your mother," he whispered, "If there is anything that you want to talk about, I will listen. Anytime."

I smiled slightly, "I was hoping that I could talk with you now."

"Well, I am here."

We reached the edge of the lake and sat down by the cool water. I pulled my knees to my chest as Severus lie back on the shore.

"I feel so mixed up," I told him from out of nowhere, "My mum was my touchstone. We shared so many things – we loved the same movies, the same songs…she taught me how to play the guitar and bought me my first acoustic when I was eight. Everyone told me that I was a miniature version of her. She made me like her – and I am glad, because if I had to take after one person in the world, it would be her. She is the woman I looked up to the most."

"Your mother sounds like she was an amazing woman," Severus commented with a tinge of jealousy in his voice.

"She was – absolutely amazing. Without her, I am totally lost."

"I wish I could tell you that I can relate to that, but I can't. I have always been lonely and lost…I don't know what love is because I have never felt it."

I took my eyes off of the rippling, black water of the lake and turned to face him. I tried to respond to that, but I couldn't. Before I could say anything, he continued.

"My mum is a scared woman – she cant ever let her guard down, and be happy," Severus told me with a blank stare in his face, "Its all my father's fault – if that thing is fit to be called a father. He spends a lot of time after work in the local taverns, drinking heavily, and coming home stumbling and violent. He abuses her…tries to hit her, but I step in the way…and then he takes her to their room and has his way with her. I take the fist for my mother, but she is the one who gets raped. Here, I am safe, but my mother isn't. I am afraid to wake up everyday, hoping that I don't have to hear that she is dead. I love my mum…I always comfort her after one of his episodes. I could never imagine what it would be like without her."

I was stunned. I had heard of these things happening, but I never knew anyone who had witnessed it. A loving family – shielded, always shielded me. Kept from knowing the awful truth of reality. I placed my hand on his – he didn't pull away.

"Severus…" I breathed, tears twinkling in my eyes.

"Please, let me finish," he said, "Some nights he wouldn't even come home – either he was too piss ass drunk and couldn't move or he had found a wench to suit his needs. I always prayed that he had been murdered.

"As you can tell, I haven't had a loving home to live in, and I don't know what it is like to have loving parents. You are lucky to have had the time to have made precious memories with your mum, because my chance was taken from me a long time ago."

Severus' story made me cringe and rethink my sorrow.

"You must think that I am really pitiful, mourning over something that was taken from me when others aren't as fortunate. I should be celebrating, not feeling sorry for myself."

"No," he replied quietly, "You have a right to mourn. I don't know why I told you about my parents, it's just that – I have never had anyone to listen to me before."

"I will always be here to listen to you," I promised, crying.

"Please, please don't cry," he begged, "I don't know how to handle it."

I laughed and wiped my cheeks, "Just ignore it. I am a huge baby."

He laughed and sat up, "Do you mind if I ask you a question?"

"Not at all," I replied.

"Do you…may I call you family? May I be part of your family?"

"As long as I may be part of your family."

"You don't want to be a part of my family, but if that is what you wish…"

He smiled as we looked back at the lake as Remus walked up behind us.

"Ani," he asked.

I looked up at him and smiled, "Hey, Remmie, join us."

"Actually, you will have to excuse me," Severus stated standing up, "We will continue studying tomorrow night."

I nodded and he took my hand in his and kissed it in a gesture of farewell.

"Ani-baby, are you okay," Remus asked as he took Severus' spot on the grass beside me and took me in his arms.

"Kinda…tell me, Remus, do you think that it is worth it," I asked.

"What?" 

"Becoming an Auror. Risking my life and dying so that my loved ones can be torn apart by the memory of me."

"Your – our mum believed in a cause – a cause that she fought and died for. This cause was noble – she wanted to take down Voldemort's army and bring peace back to the world. Mum knew what she was getting into when she began training to be an Auror. She wanted to fight for a better world, and even when things got rough, she never backed down."

"But…is it worth it?"

Remus sighed, "If you believe in stopping the horrors of the world as much a mum did, and if you aren't afraid of dying for it, then yes, it is worth it; however, ultimately, that is for you to decide."

"Well, now that I know what I am in for, with everything I have lost due to the profession and the dangers…I do still think that it is worth it. I mean, not only do I want to fight for the same cause mum did, I want to help her to get the revenge she was striving to achieve." I looked up at the sky and spotted the moon, "About two and a half more weeks until the next full moon."

"As always – we'll be ready."

I sighed and rolled a rock around in my hands before throwing it over the water. It skipped three times before sinking forever beneath the surface of the cold, black water. A cold gust of wind swept over us and I shivered slightly. Remus tightened his embrace on me.

"Do you want to go inside," he asked me, "We could sit in front of the common room fire and order a couple of Butterbeers."

I shook my head, "No," I replied quietly, "What I need right now is comfort and support from you."

"I will give you anything that you need. I am here for you – for the better and for the worst."

Remus kissed me on the cheek and pointed up to the flying dragon. The two kids on the back of it waved to us and we waved back to them. For the first time in several days, I cracked a smile as Remus sang quietly in my ear.

"Everything's gonna be alright, rock-a-bye, rock-a-bye. I said that everything's gonna be alright, rock-a-bye, rock-a-bye."


	23. Chapter Twenty Two

The Truth About Remus

Chapter Twenty-Two

I walked into the Great Hall with Remus for dinner a couple of weeks later.

"You two had best eat quickly," James warned as we sat down, "The moon is going to rise in an hour."

"We know perfectly well when the moon is set to rise, Prongs," Remus informed him, "but as long as Thumper is here, we have nothing to really worry about."

"Headmaster Dumbledore still wants you in the Shrieking Shack as a precaution," Lily said, "Just for safety."

"We know what we are doing, Lils," I told her as I shoveled food onto my plate, "We have everything absolutely under control."

"May I come with you tonight," Bill asked.

"Not tonight," I said, "Its not safe if we don't have Prongs and Padfoot with us – unfortunately, they have detention…_again_."

"Don't say 'again' like that," Sirius pleaded, "It is not our fault that Regulus dared us to dung bomb his room – he literally asked for it."

"Thump, you promised," Bill whined, "You just said that you had everything under control."

"Stryker, its just not safe! If you were able to morph, it would be different – safer," I explained, "I can't allow myself to endanger your life for a bit of fun – you are like a son to me."

"Will you teach me how to morph," he asked, "Please, Ani?"

I grinned at the desperate look on Bill's face and nodded, "Your magic skills need to become a bit stronger, but when the time comes, I will teach you, this I promise."

We ate quickly and were on our way to the shack in no time. Holding my hand and pulling me behind him, Remus was escorting me to the bedroom in nearly a run.

"Remmie," I called to him, "We don't have to be quick about it."

"You know how I am during a full moon – feisty!"

I laughed and allowed him to pull me into the nicest bedroom in the house. I shut the door behind us and Remus pushed me up against it. The way his hands roamed my fully clothed body…the way his warm breath felt against my skin…the way his grunts sounded in my ears and the way his lips caressed my skin told me that he needed me. The way that I responded to his touch, sight, smell, taste and sounds made me believe that Remus couldn't go down on me a moment too soon.

"How do you want me," I asked him mysteriously as he ripped my robes from my body.

"Anyway I can have you."

"Give me wings," I began as his robes fell to the floor with mine, "and I'll show you the way to heaven."

"You are so sexy when you talk bad."

"You made me bad."

Remus grinned, "That I certainly did, m'lady."

He pressed his lips against my neck and kissed, sucked and nibbled on the base of it, which sent me diving into a warm pool of lust. I gasped and whined at the sensation, which was taking me to the edge of erotica – I was being taken to heaven. 

I walked into Potions as bit too perky the next morning, but it didn't take long for my mood to be spoiled.

"Good morning, Severus," I exclaimed as I took a seat next to him.

"Well if it isn't Mrs. Thumper," he replied sarcastically, "and how are we this morning?"

"Just fine and dandy."

"Aren't I surprised?"

"What is that supposed to mean, exactly," I asked with a confused look on my face.

"Don't try to play innocent with me. I saw you and Lupin sneaking off after dinner last night. Say, why were you two heading to the Whomping Willow?"

"We weren't heading for anything. Remus and I were merely taking a stroll."

"Yeah – a stroll at a rather quick pace," he said, "Still, I think that there's something going on between the two of you – or even all of the Marauders – and that willow."

My heart dropped. Surely, Snape knew more than he was letting me to believe. Did he know that my Remus was a werewolf? Would he tell anyone? I mean, who was there to tell, right? My worried thoughts were interrupted as Professor Victor began class.

During the lesson, my head was not in the right place, which caused me to screw up the potion – horribly.

"Mrs. Lupin," Professor Victor exclaimed as he examined my so-called 'poison', "I would have expected better work from you! This could not poison a daffibell, and that is sure saying something!"

"I am sorry, professor, may I please have another chance," I begged.

"Yes, you will – tonight in detention."

My jaw dropped, "De-detention? Tonight? That is not possible – I mean – please, any night but tonight!"

"There is no use in trying to negotiate, Mrs. Lupin, its either you come tonight or you receive a 'D' for this project," he informed me.

I nodded and gathered my stuff. I knew that I couldn't risk a "D" in this class. My mind was fogged all the way through N.E.W.T. DADA. Lunch couldn't come a moment too soon.

"Prongs! Padfoot," I exclaimed as I rushed to the Gryffindor table where my friends say, "I have a huge problem – you two don't have detentions, right?"

"As long as the Slytherin dunderheads don't ask for another 'favor', no," Sirius replied, "Why? What's wrong?" 

"I have a detention with Professor Victor in N.E.W.T. Potions – I absolutely fucked up a potion and I have to do it all over again," I explained as quickly as possible, "I need you two to be with Moony until I can get there. He hasn't transformed in a long time, so it might hurt him more than usual, seeing as he has been out of the swing of things for a while – you have to be up to your greatest strength ---"

"Thumper, Thumper," James said, "be calm, chicka! You don't have to worry about that thing. Paddy and I will be there."

"Thank you so much," I said, "I love you guys."

I grabbed a bagel, waved good-bye to then and headed off to my next class.

I arrived to Professor Victor's classroom at eight sharp and looked out the window. It was a cloudless night – the full moon was shining bold and yellow. If I listened carefully, I could almost hear Remus' cries – it tore me apart.

"Mrs. Lupin, are you ready for a second attempt to brew the Idafleab poison," Professor Victor asked and I turned my attention from the outside to him.

"Yes, sir," I replied.

He motioned towards my seat and to the cauldron that was waiting patiently for me, "You may begin."

I walked over, propped my book against a stand and opened it to the correct page. Concentrating on and making the potion was slow and tedious work. There were times within the potion making process where I had to wait a certain number of minutes before adding another ingredient or stirring the cauldron's contents.

The minutes went by like hours – the hours like days – until I was finally ready to have my potion tested. Professor Victor took a small spoon and poured some of my concoction down the throat of a large bullfrog. After a moment of watching the frog hop around as though it had just had a drink of spring water rather than poison, I heard the potion sizzling inside of it and, finally, eating its way through the frog's body, devouring it whole.

"See, that wasn't so hard," the professor exclaimed, "Really now, Ani, I am sure you were just a bit out of the game this morning."

I nodded, "May I go now?"

"Yes," he replied and I high tailed it out of there, towards the Whomping Willow.

I neared the willow – I could hear Remus' faint cries, and I didn't think – just morphed. Dodging the swinging tree branches, I made my way through the tunnel to the shack.

I morphed back into myself and climbed up through the already open trap door. I heard Remus thrashing above me, roaring in pain and angst. I climbed the stairs, two by two, and met James and Sirius at the landing. They had been laughing about something, but stopped immediately when they saw me.

"What is going on," I asked, "Why aren't you in the room with Moony?"

They looked at each other, but didn't speak a word of explanation. I knew immediately that something was up. I ran to the bedroom door and threw it open. Looking around, I saw Severus pressed against the wall beside me, and Remus, in werewolf form, looking upon him with hungry yellow eyes. In a matter of seconds, he pounced.

"No Remus!"

I stepped between Severus and the airborne Remus. It was a huge mistake. Remus had not seen me before it was too late. His long, sharp claws tore into my robes and through thin layers of skin. I took a sharp intake of breath as I covered my lower abdomen with my hands. Remus' claws hadn't even finished tearing through me when he morphed back into himself. I watched as he held his hand up to his face; my warm, deep red blood covered it. Then, I realized the warm feeling of my own blood pouring from my wounds. I looked up at Remus as I sunk to the hardwood floor. Dizzy spells overcame me and my breathing became a fighting task. Remus caught me in his arms before I hit the ground and placed his hand on my cheek.

"I love you…" I whispered to him.

Remus shook his head, "No, don't start, Ani. You are going to be fine. You are not going to…I am going to get you to Madam Pomfrey."

As he lifted me into his strong arms, I grew limp and fainted.

Splash…I felt as warm tear land on my cheek. When I went to wipe it away, I found that someone holding it was weighing down the hand I was trying to move. I opened my eyes. Remus was holding my hand – he was the one who was crying.

"What is the verdict," I asked with a small smile.

Remus stroked my cheek with one of his large hands, but didn't answer me, "What verdict?"

"Madam Pomfrey's."

He sniffed, kissed me on the forehead, and began to sing lightly, "All I can taste is this moment and all I can breathe is your life and sooner or later its over, I just don't want to miss you tonight."

I nodded knowingly and whispered, "When everything's made to be broken, I just want you to know who I am."

"No," Remus cried, shaking his head, "You have to stay with me. Become a ---"

"A ghost," I asked hoarsely, "No, Remus, that is not a path I want to take. It would make you unhappy, I know it would."

"You would be here with me, and that's all that matters."

"I wouldn't. I would be almost a figure of your imagination. I don't want that. I want to be an angel, taken into God's hands. That is how I want us to live our afterlife…in His great kingdom. I will wait for you."

"You wont have to wait long, because I am coming with you," he informed me.

I shook my head and a tear ran down my cheek, "No, Remus, you can't. You have to promise me that you will not pass on by forcing death on yourself. Promise me…"

"I promise," he choked, "but I shouldn't because you are not about ---"

I placed my hand over his mouth and then tucked some of his long hair behind his ear, "I am not afraid to die." Another tear fell down my cheek, and I hoped that Remus couldn't see it.

"I am so sorry, my love," he said, "You shouldn't have been involved with me at all ---"

I river of tears streaked down his cheeks as tears streaked mine. I tightened my grip on his hand.

"I love you, Remus," I told him, my voice quivering, "I am blessed to have you. I – I need you to do something for me…"

"Anything. Name it, just name it."

"Fight Voldemort. Kill that murdering bastard. Allow his blood to stain your hands – rip his throat out. Grind his bones to dust! Cut out his ---"

Through my overexcitement, I began to cough. I tasted the bittersweet blood in my mouth and I looked up to Remus in horror. He was, again, on the verge of tears.

"No," I said before another tear wet his face, "the last thing that I want to see is your smile."

Remus stood and brought his mouth to my ear.

"I love you, Anistasia Lupin." 

I breathed in those words as though they were oxygen and I felt his wet lips touch mine. I was tingling all over as I felt Remus' passion run through me. He pulled away slowly – reluctantly – and, as I requested, he was smiling down at me. My hand reached up and touched his cheek.

"I love you, Remus Lupin."

My hand fell limply from his cheek but I continued to stare straight into Remus' big, bold eyes. As my eyes closed, I was warm and fuzzy all over…


	24. Epilogue

The Truth About Remus

Epilogue

Remus sat on the cold, concrete bench in the cemetery, staring down into an open, black leather ring box at his wedding band. Several hundred blood red rose petals lined the ground around him and the grave of his late wife a few feet in front of him. He was still in complete shock about what happened a few days ago – he could only make out certain details about the funeral that ended a few moments earlier…all he was able to do was replay the entire incident that led to this in his mind…

I was lunging for Snape…how could I have hit Ani? I would have never hurt her…

He slammed the ring box shut and shoved it angrily in his pocket. He stood up and walked over to Anistasia's headstone. It read this:

**                                                                             Anistasia Marie Willow Lupin**

**                                                                       December 3, 1960 – March 13, 1977**

_                                                                     "I did not believe because I couldn't see,_

_                                                                       "Though you came to me in the night._

_                                                                       "When the dawn seemed forever lost,_

_                                                            "You showed me your love in the light of the stars."_

_                                                                                               ~RJL~_

Remus ran his fingers over the deep, fresh engraving and kissed the headstone lightly.

"You are my only one true love, Anistasia," he whispered, "I love you, and only you."

After a moment of silence, he stood up and walked to the black limousine to join his family and friends. As he sat in the tough leather seat, Lily hugged him and Sirius placed a hand on his knee.

"We'll get through this, buddy," James assured him, "All of us – together, as the Marauders should."

"You have our support, Remus," Crystal said.

"Thank you, guys," Remus said with an appreciative smile.

The limo stopped in front of Anistasia and Remus' homes and the group piled out. They walked into Ani's house. Mr. Willow and some guests were talking and when Remus approached, Joseph embraced him in a hug.

"You are brave, my son," he told him, "How is it that you can fight your tears so well?"

"I'm sorry," Remus told him for the thousandth time.

"You suffered just as much a loss as I did – as several of us did," Joseph informed Remus, and the said with sorrow in his voice, "That wasn't you that night, Remus. You can't feel responsible. Well, um," dad looked at me with an uneasiness, "Ani's room is still in tact. I wouldn't feel right looking around up there – just…you may have whatever you want, whenever you are ready to go up there."

Remus nodded, looked to his friends, and then walked upstairs alone. Anistasia's door was closed…his mind flashbacked to Christmas morning…how he had turned the knob slowly and quietly so he could walk in to see her sleeping peacefully as the morning sun reflected off of the snow covered windowsill and onto her bright face.

He walked into the room and looked at the shelves of unicorn figurines, the stacks of CDs, the Tornados posters on the walls, and her stereo. Remus turned it on and quiet music filled the room. He was immediately engulfed by it as he looked around the room some more.

_To see you when I wake up_

_Is a gift I didn't think could be real…_

These words echoed in Remus' mind and he was taken back to when the first time he had woken up to see Anistasia beside him – the morning after she had guaranteed him a normal life. The room was dark, but he could still make out her slim figure, lying peacefully on her back…her chest moved up and down slowly as she breathed. He kissed her eyelids and she opened them slowly and smiled at him…through him. 

To know that you feel the same as I do 

_Is a three fold, utopian dream…_

These lyrics brought back the memory of Christmas…the bright light of the morning sun reflected off of the joyous look on her face when Remus had asked her to marry him. As she agreed, he could just imagine their wedding night…the perfect night that was once a fairy tale, but became a reality for both of them.

You do something to me that I cant explain 

_So would I be out of line if I said,_

_I miss you?_

Remus found Ani's journal on her desk – he remembered that she was worried out of her mind that she had lost it. He lay down on her bed with it in his hands and opened it to her first entry dated nearly two years earlier. A picture of the Marauders was pasted on it, the happy group, with Remus and Ani in the front, waved to him.

I see your picture I smell your skin on the empty pillow next to mine You have already been gone ten days, but already I'm wasting away… 

As Remus was reading through the journal, an owl tapped on the window above his head. He let it in and noticed that it was carrying a document bearing the Hogwarts seal. Remus opened it immediately and read its contents.

_Mr. Lupin,_

_I am very sorry for your loss. I am mourning as much as one can. Mrs. Lupin was an honorable and talented young woman. Every professor and person that she touched is in deep sorrow on this day. Her absence will weigh heavily in our hearts._

_Now that I have spoken my peace, it is my duty to inform you that Madam Pomfrey discovered something in the blood tests that came back from St. Mungo's last evening. It seems that Anistasia was two months pregnant when she passed on – whether she knew it or not cannot be determined. It is required by law that I tell you this since you were her spouse, but whether both of your parents find out is completely up to you, seeing as how she was still a minor and I cannot tell her guardians such things without her consent._

_Hard times lay ahead my son, but take them on with an open heart._

_Regards,_

Headmaster Albus Dumbledore 

Remus lay back on the bed in shock.

_I know I'll see you again,_

Whether far or soon… 

"Pregnant," he asked himself, "We were going to have a child…like she always dreamed. I was going to live out my promise…dammit, why did this have to happen?"

I just need you to know that I care… 

Remus picked the lamp up off of the bedside table and chucked it across the room. It shattered on the opposite wall with a satisfying crash. He stared blankly at the shards on the floor, and then did the only that he could – he cried.

_…and I miss you…_

"If there is only one thing that I have found out from this experience," Remus said as he finished telling the news of Ani's pregnancy to his mum, dad, father-in-law and friends, "It is that love is the strongest force on this earth. It brings people together, tears people apart, but for Ani and I, it was our Holy Grail…our saving grace." 


End file.
